mind to hit at the end, and then when the time came, it just didn’t jive with the rest of the book. Let’s see what Jeff thinks.
Blake
• • •
I’m withholding my vote until I’m done with the proofreading. But the fact that a scene was part of the original idea should be irrelevant to whether or not it’s appropriate for the book as it stands now.
Jeff
• • •
I’m contacting various Kindle booklight manufacturers to see if we can get an endorsement deal. A Kindle light saves Adam’s life, and perhaps some company would be happy enough about the product placement to cover our start-up costs (art, formatting, website.)
Plus, it would be great publicity, for both us and them, if Draculas was the very first ebook with advertising in it. Both Blake and Jeff know I’ve been predicting this for years…
Joe
• • •
Agreed.
Blake
• • •
Remember, though, the light is dying as soon as he turns it on, creating a ticking clock to darkness.
Jeff
• • •
It they don’t give us a deal, I’ll have the light die and Adam can smash it into the wall and say, “This fucking piece of shit is so unreliable!”
Blake
• • •
Adam started running, made it out of the laboratory and halfway through reception, when his XXXXXX finally faded to black.
He froze, waited a moment, thinking his eyes would adjust, that he would be able to see
His first instinct was primal, animal panic, a sense of the walls both closing in and spinning until he’d completely lost his bearing.
XXXXXX. It leaves you in the dark to be eaten by vampires. $29.99.
Jeff
• • •
XXXXXX…it’s not going to help you when the lights go out during a vampire outbreak.
Blake
• • •
Our emails crossed and yours is much funnier…LOL
Blake
• • •
Clay stopped at the Pepsi machine and got a refreshingly tasty Mountain Dew. Halfway into sipping the delicious beverage, he heard a noise on his left. Reaching into his Levis 517 Boot Cut jeans, he removed his Benchmade Griptilian folder, flicking open the blade.
But it wasn’t a dracula. It was Jenny, riding a brand new Schwinn Seneca 700cc, her L.A. Gear Walk N Tone shoes furious on the pedals.
“They’re coming!” she yelled while screeching the brakes. “But before we run, I need to apply some L’Oreal True Match Concealer! I don’t fight monsters without looking my best!”
Guys, we’re gonna be rich…
Joe
• • •
Okay, I’d never heard an XXXXXX, but now I
Paul
• • •
No, I completely agree with Paul. It’s a good self-contained scene, but it feels less like “enhancing the irony” than “overexplaining a plot point.” Readers don’t want six pages of a new character right at the finale.
Jeff
• • •
I’ve gotta say, this book flows incredibly well for a four-author project! I’d expected to find a lot of awkward pacing, but no, it’s smoooooooth. Huge kudos to Blake for managing to figure out where everything should be pasted together.
For a book with so many characters, they’re all distinct, and I don’t think readers will have any difficulty following the action.
I fixed a few typos, some redundant description, and the occasional continuity error. I changed the iPad to a Kindle with a light. Cut a line here and there.
I have a couple more changes to make (there’s a paragraph about Clay/Shanna’s relationship that’s too much like Randall/Jenny’s relationship, and Randall gives Jenny a hatchet that’s never used), and then I’m going to go through the special features.
Jeff
• • •
There’s another deleted scene for the fire.
Joe
• • •
Okay, I’m ready to hand this thing off to Joe.
The Clay epilogue is fantastic. Feels like it was planned out from the beginning.
Jeff
• • •
Don’t know about rich, but I think the least the Taurus folks can do is send me a Raging Bull.
Paul
• • •
If Taurus contacts you, asking if you received the firearm they sent your way via my address, they’re liars and never sent me anything.
Also, remind them I wanted extra clips.
Joe
• • •
And somebody is bound to send Blake some red candy!
Jeff
• • •
Okay, I’m just getting started, and have only made some small changes.
I switched Clay’s profession from cop to high school guidance counselor. Now, instead of all the shooting, he encourages the draculas to talk about their feelings.
Stacie is now a man.
I cut all the stuff Jeff wrote.
In my scenes, I added two commas, and fixed a typo.
I also made one minor addition. Dr. Lanz is now a minor. Sort of like Doogie Howser. Because of this, he is now being played by Neil Patrick Harris, who has turned the role into a singing part. Not quite sure how that will work in an ebook, but this is all such a fabulous new technology I’m sure there’s a way.
Oh, almost forgot. I also changed every noun in the book to “wiener.”
“Wiener jerked against his wieners, making the wiener rattle. The wieners had pumped enough wieners into him to kill a wiener, but the wieners hadn’t abated. Wiener wiped away another wiener, wondering if wiener should
