It was his last sleep in this bed, Nick had told him. When he woke they’d move his belongings to where he belonged. With Nick.
And now Wendy was watching over him one last time, her joy tinged with sadness. ‘I’m getting too old for this,’ she said as she watched Nick and Shanni cluck over their little one. ‘It’s time I moved on. Maybe took a chance at permanent fostering.’
‘Loving and letting go isn’t something you can do for ever,’ Shanni said softly, watching her friend’s face, and Nick could only agree.
Loving and letting go? No! He’d only just learned to love, and he intended to hold.
Somehow he forced himself to focus on Wendy. ‘Can you do that? Move to permanent fostering?’ he asked, and Wendy nodded.
‘Soon.’ She smiled as one of her charges peeped in, holding up a scratched finger for inspection and sympathy. She beckoned her in, lifted the little girl and hugged her hard, then turned back to gaze down at Harry. ‘Some children have the capacity to break you up. But now and then there’s a happy ending that makes it fine. Like you and Shanni and Harry… Go on, you two. Go and sort out your future while I watch over your baby.’
And she stayed with Harry and watched as Nick led Shanni outside.
They didn’t speak. As if of one accord they made their way to Nick’s car and Nick drove the short way to the beach. He stopped the motor and for a long moment sat looking out to sea.
Shanni sat silent. She knew exactly what was happening. Nick was saying goodbye to something he’d never wanted in the past but he’d learned to guard as if it was the most important thing in the world. And now…he was saying farewell to solitude for ever.
And then he turned to Shanni. His love.
His face was tense, she thought. Unsure of what was to come.
‘Shanni, when I said back there…to Harry…that we…’ he faltered.
Her heart lurched. No! Maybe she was wrong. Maybe, even now, he wanted to back away.
‘I know, Nick,’ she said heavily. ‘You didn’t mean it. Or if you did…’ She fingered her hands. ‘Being Harry’s parents…Nick, I’m not staying with you just for Harry.’
‘I wouldn’t ask you to do that.’
She turned to him then, tilting her chin, a trace of the redoubtable Shanni returning.
‘What would you be asking, then, Nick Daniels?’
And the answer was there, already written. Clear as day, only he’d been too blind to see it. Until this day.
‘I’m asking you to marry me because I love you more than life itself,’ he said. ‘You’ve given yourself to me with all the love in your heart and I was too blind, too stupid and too cowardly to return it. But I need it, Shanni. I need your love like I’ve never needed anything so much in my life. You’re part of me. You and Harry…
‘Me-and Harry?’
‘Could you bear to be a part of a family?’ he said simply. ‘My family?’
‘You and me and Harry?’ There was a glimmer of laughter in her lovely eyes and she held out her hands and took his between them. ‘Oh, Nick…Nick, that’s all I want in the whole wide world. You and me and Harry… Oh, my love…’
And then, as he took her into his arms and kissed her and the afternoon sunshine exploded in a mist of joy and love and desire, Nick thought that life could hold no more than it possibly did at this very moment.
He was loved, and he loved in return. He’d reached the pinnacle…
But his love was pulling out of his arms, and the laughter was still there.
‘Me and you and Harry?’
‘Mmm.’
‘It’s not enough.’
What was she talking about? Love?
‘I think we should get this straight,’ she said, trying for sternness but her voice was husky with love. ‘Before we commit.’
‘Aren’t we committed?’
‘I want this legal.’
‘As legal as you want. I’ll sign anything.’ He paused, his legal training screaming all sorts of warnings. Drat his legal training! For this moment he was a lover-not a magistrate. ‘What do you want me to sign?’
She chuckled, a lovely carefree sound that echoed around them as an affirmation of their love. Of their passing from dark to light…
‘I want two dogs and a horse written into the contract.’
‘Two dogs and a horse…’
‘And four more children. At least.’
‘Four…’
‘And Wendy and her foster-kids must be welcome whenever they want to stay with us.’
‘Is this a marriage we’re arranging-or a menagerie?’
‘Both.’ She laughed into his eyes, he smiled back, and she knew she needed no legal agreement. She knew she had him in the palm of her hand.
‘Okay, Your Worship, that about sums it up,’ she said sweetly. ‘Do you still want to be a high court judge, by the way?’
‘I can’t see two dogs, one horse, five kids, plus assorted hangers-on in my city apartment. How long did you say your last judge stayed in this town?’
‘Thirty years,’ she said serenely.
‘Thirty years…’ He took her into his arms and they might well have been married right at that moment. No vows could ever be more permanent than this. ‘Thirty years, eh? It seems to me…’
‘What does it seem, my lovely Nicholas?’
‘It seems to me like thirty years is not nearly long enough.’
Marion Lennox
