to become sick. There are huge benefits to being positive.
There are times when it’s clearly delusional to believe that a girl likes you. If you ask a girl out and she says no twice, the odds are she doesn’t like you no matter what her excuse is. The first no could be a result of extenuating circumstances. The second no should be absolute confirmation. Move on, ask another girl out. In this age of sexual harassment claims and date rape charges, no must ABSOLUTELY mean no. You may not think you’re being scary or too aggressive, but you really can’t be certain of what she’s thinking and you DO NOT want to become an inadvertent rapist.
There will be plenty of times when there isn’t enough information available to know if a woman likes you or not. In this case, there’s absolutely no benefit in automatically assuming a woman doesn’t want you. Try not to fill your head with unproven, unnecessary negative thoughts.
Until she says no, assume she’ll say yes. There’s no downside to looking at the glass as being half full. Unless there’s irrefutable proof to the contrary, let yourself believe you’re attractive.
Every woman who hasn’t said no to you can be viewed as a woman who wants you. You may be wrong, but what’s the harm? Try an experiment when you need your spirits lifted. Walk down a busy street and say to yourself, ‘She wants me’ every time you pass a pretty girl. A smile will soon come to your face and eventually you’ll have to fight to keep from laughing. You may be incorrect but you haven’t harmed anyone. There’s nothing wrong with boosting your mood with a bit of harmless positive thinking.
Chapter 5: Use the power of pity
When you saw this title, you thought I was going to teach you how to get pity. You never want a woman to pity you; you want to pity her.
You’re at a bar and you see an attractive girl out with her friends. Hopefully, you’ve learned by now not to do the nervous stare and look away thing. From now on we will call this the ‘Prey-animal’s flinch’. Don’t take on the mannerisms of a prey animal. She’s the prey, you’re the hunter.
You’ll be using your peripheral vision to scope her out without her knowledge; you’re using the ‘Hunter’s gaze.’ Be the powerful hunter. It’s okay if this kind of role-playing seems funny or ridiculous. The whole point of the exercise is to stop feeling weak. Women are repelled by weakness and attracted to power. If becoming a hunter makes you feel powerful, be the hunter. If becoming the hunter makes you laugh—laugh. When you’re laughing, you are not afraid.
You watch her as she tries on a smile and says a few things to her friends. She then takes a quick glance around the room, takes a sip of her drink, drops the smile and looks bored. Boredom is what you’re looking for; this is your signal to cut her from the herd. If she doesn’t look bored, find another target. You want to be a net positive in a woman’s evening, not a net negative. If she’s already having fun, there’s too much risk that you’ll just be bothering her.
Okay, she looks bored. You watch her look up with a hopeful expression as a guy approaches her. Single women go to bars for the same reason single guys do; they want to meet someone. Unfortunately for her and fortunately for you, most of your competition are incompetent, bungling novice hunters. You watch as the guy uses the “Oh you’re so beautiful” line and gets shot down.
Pay particular attention to the loss of hope tinged with despair that shows up on her face once she realizes the guy is another dud. By now, if you’re doing this exercise correctly, you’re having fun and she’s not. It’s okay to feel sorry for her. In fact you want to feel as much pity for her as you possibly can.
In the pit of your stomach, feel how unfair it is for a beautiful woman to be bored in a bar full of single men. In your mind, examine the huge advantage men have over women. We have game consoles; they don’t. We have instantaneous access to hours of mindless fun; they don’t. Even if the woman had an Xbox, it wouldn’t help. She doesn’t have the capacity to enjoy an Xbox. She’s like a child born without fingers who wants to play the piano. It’s a human tragedy! How horrible would it be if you were incapable of enjoying a game console?
When your heart is overflowing with sadness and pity, convert your Hunter’s gaze into a Predator’s gaze. Stare directly at her and when she meets your eyes, smile at her with every emotion you’re feeling. It’s okay if there’s a little bit of laughter in there too. Keep looking at her until she’s absolutely certain you’re going to get up and walk over to her, and then don’t. Turn your head away from her and ignore her completely. Don’t use your hunter’s gaze. Don’t even look in her direction for at least a half hour.
Women want powerful men. Mentally placing yourself in a position of power isn’t harming her. You want her to be thinking, ‘Who is that guy? Why did he smile at me like that? Is he laughing at me? Why isn’t he looking at me again?’ because now she’s no longer bored. With just a look and a smile, you’ve improved her evening. You’ve become a gift-giving altruist bringing joy to those around you.
Try to feel the pressure of her gaze on the back of your neck. You’d be surprised; it’s possible to sense someone looking at you without actually seeing them do it. After a half hour has passed, make eye contact with her again. This time don’t smile. Put on your best puzzled look. Walk up to her using a firm confident stride, never losing eye contact and ask, “I’m sorry if this sounds forward, but have you been looking at me?”
If she blushes, you’re on the right track.
This technique isn’t for everyone. It may or may not fit your style. It’s worth considering because it shows how to use your mental energy to pick up woman. Your thoughts will be reflected in your body language. If you’re having fun, if you are laughing on the inside, a girl will be able to sense it. And the odds are she’ll be attracted.
Chapter 6: Use your good-looking friend
We all know guys who are ridiculously good-looking. They don’t ask women out because sooner or later the women usually ask them out. If you have a friend in this category, he’s a valuable resource you can exploit. Once you explain the deal to him, he’ll be willing to go along because he has an issue too. Women pick him; he never gets to choose the girl. He’ll be interested in an opportunity to talk to the girl he wants.
Edmond Rostand’s 1897 play ‘Cyrano de Bergerac’ is about an articulate man with a monstrously large nose who has a gorgeous, inarticulate friend. Both Cyrano and his friend fall in love with the same beautiful woman. Cyrano doesn’t even try to win her because he knows he’s ugly. His friend asks Cyrano help him. He uses Cyrano’s words to get the girl. It’s a tragedy because the woman actually falls in love with Cyrano, but she ends up with the wrong man. If you ever want a self-serving chick flick with the theme that ugly smart men are better than handsome dumb men, check out ‘Roxanne’ with Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah. It’s based on Rostand’s play.
You can channel de Bergerac without jumping into a tragic love triangle. Go to a bar with your good-looking friend. Let’s call him John. Have John pick out any pretty girl as long as she has an attractive friend.
Women are used to saying no to guys trying to pick them up for themselves. They’re flabbergasted when they come across a guy who is trying to pick them up for someone else. They don’t have a prepared response and they don’t know how to say no. There’s also a heck of a lot less stress on you because the worst that can happen is your friend gets rejected, not you.
All John has to do is sit far away looking studly; since that’s the only weapon in his quiver, he’ll be good with that. Go up to the girl, let’s call her Marsha, and tell her the honest truth. John is attracted to her but he’s too shy to come over. List every single positive trait he has and tell her that all she has to do is go up to him and say hi. If John was listing his great traits, he’d be bragging; it wouldn’t go over well. Since you’re the one praising him, everything you’re saying must be true.
In all the times I’ve done this, I’ve never had a girl refuse to talk to my friend. I can’t say this enough; single girls go to bars for the same reason single guys do. As long as you make it fun for them, they’ll want to talk to you.
Escort Marsha over to John and give them some privacy. Go back to her table and wait with her attractive friend who now thinks you’re funny, unique, and interesting. It’s a win-win for everyone. Once again, you’ve brought joy into the universe. You ARE the gift that keeps on giving.
