No. No, no, no.
This is your last list.
It couldn't be. It shouldn't be. It was not alowed to be!
You've done wel, though I think you understand you need
more work on discipline. Should you desire further
instruction and encouragement, I might consider continuing
your service to me. But only if I see a ful commitment
from you. You know how to get in touch with me.
Don't feel yourself worthy of more of my time. Only I can
decide that.
Wow, and oh, no. I tucked the card back into the
envelope and pressed it to my chest as I stepped aside to
let the snotty woman who'd dismissed me several times
before get to her mailbox. She gave me a curious glance,
but something in my face must have looked formidable
enough that she glanced quickly away.
I turned my back to the row of mailboxes with the note stil
clutched to me. I wanted to cry. Or puke. I wanted to put
the note back and pretend I hadn't read it.
But instead, I did what I hadn't ever done before on
purpose. I shoved it in my bag.
I was keeping it.
Paul wasn't in his office when I got to work, but that was
fine. I didn't have time to worry about him this morning, or
his lists that could never take the place of the one in my
bag. I hadn't taken it out to look at it again, though I could
remember each swirl and whirl of every letter and line.
I made the coffee and set his cup by the pot with the sugar
and powered creamer already in it. In his office I lit the
desk lamp instead of the overheads that gave him a
headache, and I puled up al the files he'd need to work
on. I even set his radio, though not to the station he usualy
chose but one with alternative pop instead of the soft-rock
channel he usualy played.
I did al of this without a list and not because I feared what
would happen if he came in and found none of it done. I
did it, simply, because Paul needed these things in order to
be productive. If my boss was being productive, he would
have less time to hover over me, and simply put, today I
would not have been able to stand hovering.
would not have been able to stand hovering.
I fielded a few phone cals and settled some business by
the time he breezed in with a frown.
'Paige, I need coffee, please.'
I pointed to the counter. 'It's al ready, Paul.'
'Thanks.' He said it offhandedly, then looked at the mug
and back at me. 'Thank you, Paige.'
I nodded but didn't glance up from my files. I had a lot of
work to do today and not enough attention to give him
more than that. Most of my mind was stil caught up in
