He's kind to his mother and checks in with her often (but mama's boys need not apply).
His nieces and nephews spend considerable time with him.
He has younger siblings he helped care for when he was younger and they made it through, unscathed.
He has a pet, and it actually gets fed and taken care of.
He keeps his house clean and knows how to cook a few decent meals.
He's.nancially prepared to care for you and your children, or he has the desire to.
He can and is willing to comfort your child when she hurts herself. (If he starts hyperventilating at the sight of blood, this might be a situation especially if he's already told you he's a doctor.)
He doesn't faint at the sight of diapers.
He can get down and dirty with your children squirting them with a water hose, shooting hoops at the park, getting buried in the sand at the beach and like it. (Though you don't want him to get too excited about playing Tea Party with the dolls.)
He doesn't lose his mind when someone spills food and drinks in his car, or puts a muddy footprint on the back of his seat it shows he's not so fussy about messy kids (because nothing wrecks your car quicker than having kids; his seats will see the inside of a Happy Meal).
He can make it through a one-on-one game with your child and maybe even let him win once (Note: dunking on an eight-year-old and yelling, In your face! is not something a good potential father would do).
He's willing and able to teach you how to play a sport which shows he has the patience of Job.
He's willing to go to family functions with you and the kids even after hearing the stories about your crazy aunt Thelma and how she likes to get a little tipsy and call out your new boyfriends in front of company.
He's actually interested in how your child is doing in school, and not only encourages him to do well, but gives suggestions on how he can excel.
He can be gentle with your kids, but he's capable of being.rm with them, too (though you don't want to see him start taking off his belt within the.rst half hour of meeting the children; I know kids can be bad, but that's a little much).
He's capable of forgiveness, and shows that, even when your kid does the seemingly unforgivable or at least the highly questionable.
13
A world without women would go a little something like this:
Men wouldn't wash or shave.
We wouldn't work.
Our wardrobe would be pretty simple: sweats, T-shirts, and socks maybe some sneakers if we absolutely had to go outside.
There'd de.nitely be no need for dishes or vegetables or much food for that matter a paper plate or two, some cold cuts, pizza, and beer would do just.ne.
Furniture in the house would be kept to a minimum: we'd have a recliner, a refrigerator, a really big television, and, of course, a remote.
We'd need only two television channels: ESPN and ESPN2.
And we wouldn't need to go on vacation we'd just go to Vegas. They've got everything we need in Vegas you can gamble there, smoke cigars, eat steak, play golf, and go to the strip club, and really, you wouldn't need that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas slogan because men wouldn't go blabbing about what they did, anyway.
This is all to say that men are very simple creatures who would be prone to doing some very simple things if not for the women in our lives. After all, you all are the masters of handling it: you work full-time, then come home to the full-time job of being wives and mothers and everything to everybody; you're raising kids (all too many of you without any help from the men who helped create them); you're making most of the major purchasing decisions in our households; you're taking over key positions in the corporate world and bringing home the bacon (some of you more than the men in your lives); you're excelling in college, where you outnumber young men at a ridiculous rate; and you're holding up our churches and educating our children in the school system, in effect, nurturing and protecting our minds and spirits. We men welcome and appreciate this more than you ever will know (mainly because we're a little too proud sometimes to 'fess up to it).
Still, the strength it takes to handle it is not, in a man's mind, where a woman's power lies. To us, your power comes from one simple thing: you're a woman, and we men will do anything humanly possible to impress you so that, ultimately, we can be with you. You're the driving force behind why we wake up every day. Men go out and get jobs and hustle to make money because of women. We drive fancy cars because of women. We dress nice, put on cologne, get haircuts and try to look all shiny and new for you. We do all of this because the more our game is stepped up, the more of you we get.
You're the ultimate prize to us.
This may be a hard pill for you to swallow and some of you may be offended by what I'm about to say, but I say this in truth and an abiding love for the opposite sex: somewhere along the way, women lost sight of this. Maybe in part because we men have played so many games, pulled so many tricks out of our hats just plain done so much wrong in our quest to get women that we've convinced you all that you are not important to us. Perhaps it has to do with how women are raised these days there's been the constant encouragement from your mothers and aunties and grandmas and female mentors to educate yourselves and get great jobs and to be independent women, no matter the cost, even if it means putting off having serious relationships. Or maybe you all have just been worn down by the constant media obsession with perfection, with everything from magazine covers to television shows, to commercials, and blogs, and everything else telling you to nip it and tuck it and suck it in and dress it up and look like Halle Berry and BeyoncT if you want to attract a good man, knowing full well that all of you possess a great beauty all your own, and only Halle can look like Halle, and only BeyoncT can look like BeyoncT.
Whatever the case, we men are no longer connecting with that special part of you that makes you a woman that thing that makes you so very beautiful to us, and that also happens to make us feel more like men. As I've already explained, the three ways a man shows you he loves you is by professing, providing, and protecting. Which means that if you've got your own money, your own car, your own house, a Brinks alarm system, a pistol, and a guard dog, and you're practically shouting from the rooftops that you don't need a man to provide for you or protect you, then we will see no need to keep coming around. What in the world do you need us for if you have all of that?
Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. We don't mind it if you have yourself totally together you can have your own house, you can have your own money, you can own your own car. You can have the Brinks alarm system, the guard dog, and the pistol, too. But if the man who is pursuing your affection is never allowed by you to exhibit his ability to provide or protect, then how can he possibly see himself professing his love to a woman who has not allowed him to feel like a man? The things you've acquired and gained.nancially and educationally can never be bigger than the relationship with the man. His DNA will not allow for that. Translation: we appreciate it when women treat us like men, when you let us know that you need us. The need to feel needed is way bigger to us than we've let on; we have to feel needed by you in order to ful.ll our destiny as a man.
Of course, I've heard women say, I'm not going to belittle myself to make him feel more like a man if he can't handle my money and my success and my independence, then he can't handle me! We understand and can handle strong women. In fact, we're the products of strong women women who handle it. It's no secret that you allow us men to believe we're the head of the household, but it's you who makes all the key decisions in the house and with the kids. It's no secret to us that no matter who's bringing in the most money, it's you who ultimately handles the.nances and allocates how the cash is going to be spent. It's no secret that when we argue, we may act like we're right, but we know that ultimately, if we want to restore the peace, you're going to get your way. We're cool with all of this. But if you say things to this effect without keeping up the charade of our being essential to the household or you handle our egos with anything less than great care then we're not going to want to be involved with you. In our minds, if you've got your own money, you don't need ours. If you know karate and can knock
