Girlology: A Girl's Guide to Stuff that Matters

There is great power that comes from knowledge and making good choices about your body and what it can do. Your body is the tool you will use to enjoy your sexuality all your life, so it is important that you take good care of it and treat it with respect. Here’s how you develop the Girl Power that comes with healthy sexuality:• You understand and accept the changes happening in your body.

• You do what you can to keep your body healthy.

• You notice that you have sexual feelings.

• You learn to appreciate your sexual feelings, but you act on them in a safe and responsible way.

• You feel comfortable discussing sexual issues with your parents or another trusted adult.

• You are respectful of other people’s sexual identities and choices but stand up for your own values.

• You rely on your friends to help you learn about trust and being intimate with feelings.

• You understand that some people use sex for power.

• You look forward to a fulfilling sexual experience in a relationship that is meaningful and responsible; for most people, that means in a mature, committed adult relationship or marriage.

That’s what Girl Power and Girlology is all about. So feel good about your sexuality! It’s a big part of who you are and who we hope you’ll become—a healthy, strong, smart young woman who’s got it going on, body, mind and soul!

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Mixed Messages

Sex is a hot topic. Just check out the cover of Seventeen magazine, the posters in your health class, TV shows, religious youth group programs and the rows of books on sexuality in Barnes & Noble. Everybody’s got something to say about sex.

With all these different people weighing in on sex, it can be a confusing topic. So confusing that we can’t even agree on what to call it! In science we call it “reproduction.” Your parents might call it “making love.” Friends can call it “sleeping” with a boy. It’s called sex, sexual intercourse, as well as lots of not-so-proper names.

Why do we have so many names for it? And why are some of the names “nice” and some aren’t nice at all? The reason is simple. Different people have lots of different ideas about sex. Some think it’s loving affection between husband and wife. Others think it’s just a fun way to relieve yourself when you feel sexually aroused or “horny.” Some people say sex is mainly for making babies. Other people do it for the sheer thrill and excitement. What a variety of ideas! What a bag of mixed messages!

With all these mixed messages, how do we decide what’s right for us? Where do we get the information that helps us decide? Parents? Television? Church? Movies? Boyfriends? Teachers? Friends? Magazines? Internet?

Whom do you listen to? How do you decide which messages are important and which are not so important? It’s hard! If you are like a lot of girls, you want to:• Fit in with your friends• Be liked by boys• Be trusted by your parents• Know about the latest trends

Parents, girlfriends, boyfriends and the media can have different ideas about how your friends, boys, parental trust and trends fit in with your new sexual self. If you are paying attention to all these messages, here’s what you might hear:

From Parents

I’m glad you asked me.

What?! Why are you interested in sex? Are you already doing it?

Wait until you’re married.

Use birth control.

Sex is a gift you save for your husband.

Sex is dirty.

Sex is not healthy for teenagers.

Sex is for adults only.

Sex is wonderful if you are in the right relationship.

Sex is dangerous.

Sex is intimate and emotional.

Sex is a gift from God.

From Girlfriends

I want to have sex now.

I want to wait until I’m married to have sex.

Sex is gross.

I can’t believe you haven’t had sex yet!

Sex is disappointing.

Sex is fun.

Sex is all about the guys.

Sex is something that everyone is doing.

Sex is scary.

You need to use a condom.

You only need to have sex if you want a baby.

Boys only like you if you have sex.