She obviously figured out a lot of stuff for herself, a lot of the things we’ve been talking about. Things like:• Using words wisely• Not giving any power away to people who want to embarrass or use her • Listening to people who want what’s good for her—not TV, movies, music, magazines and advertisers that want what’s best for them • Choosing friends who build her up and don’t tear her down—and being a good friend to others as well • Recognizing that she is sexual and can be sexy without “doing it”• Talking, thinking and learning about sexual things before she gets “in the heat of the moment” and does something she regrets • Being brave enough to talk to boyfriends about her sexual boundaries—even when it’s really awkward.• Telling the difference between good boyfriends and bad boyfriends • Saving some sexual things for her true love
Will it always be easy to make decisions and do things that help grow your Girl Power? Absolutely not. Sometimes it will feel great—the easiest decision you’ve ever made! Sometimes it will totally stink! Some people might even tell you you’re stupid, afraid, freaky, weird and totally don’t get it. But when it stinks, you have to remember that you are making decisions that are good for you for life . . . not just for the moment. It’s hard work, but it pays off in the end.
It’s like the girl who gets made fun of for shooting baskets every Saturday morning instead of going to the mall. The shooting isn’t all that much fun, but then on Friday night, she fakes out the defense with two seconds to go and sinks a three-pointer to win the game. They called her boring when she was practicing, but she’s a hero when her practice makes her win the game!
Growing your Girl Power takes practice too. And it lets you be a hero for life—a hero to yourself! Too many girls grow impatient in this work to grow Girl Power. They compromise their values because of it. Not good.
You Are Worth the Best
There is a lot of power that comes for waiting for the best, not just grabbing all the cheap stuff you can get as soon as it comes your way. And get ready, because sex will come your way during your teen years. You have to be ready to handle it. You have to be able to make and stick to a plan for sexual limits and behaviors that are healthy for you.
Patience and self-control pay off in the end; we promise! If you are making good choices and good decisions now (even though they may be difficult, other teens roll their eyes at you or boys may pressure you), you will look back not too far from now and see the power in the choices you made . . . the power in having a plan.
We’re not just making it up. Every day we talk to young girls and women who are healthy and happy because they have stuck to a plan about sex and sexual stuff that feels right for them. They feel powerful and in control. And we also hear too many stories from girls who have made some serious mistakes because they didn’t have a plan at all.
Things “just happened”—then there was a lot of regret and tears, sometimes even pregnancy or infections. Every time girls give away or allow someone else to “take” some of this power, it’s a loss. Their power weakens, and they have to work hard to start to rebuild it. Fortunately, it can be built up again! They have to go back and make some new choices that give them power and control. And they have to stick to those choices and hold on to that power to let it grow.
ClaimYour Girl Power
This whole power thing goes back way farther than women today. Since the beginning of time, civilizations have recognized that people have special opportunities in life to gain power. Periods of transition are times of especially great power! Think about some of the major transitions in a girl’s life:Birth—power to be on this Earth
Puberty—power to reproduce and create new life
Marriage—power to start a relationship that can create a family
Motherhood—power to shape a new life into something powerful
Menopause—power to share wisdom and see life from a very experienced perspective
Let’s look at one of these life transitions to understand this power thing. It’s a little touchy-feely and deep kind of stuff. But it’s true.
Birth . . . yep, pretty powerful. Think of all the amazing potential newborn babies have. Even though they are totally dependent on other caregivers to feed them, get them around and nurture them . . . their potential is limitless. Somewhere, a baby is being born who will be a future president or an inventor or an Olympic champion or the biggest rock star the world has ever seen! On the other hand, babies are being born who will be haters, cheaters and criminals. So just because there is a lot of power in the birth transition . . . it doesn’t always end up being
Now, let’s get back to you and the power transition you’re in right now.
You’ve Got Power!
So here you are at one of life’s major transitions. You are making the transition from a child—through puberty and adolescence—into a young adult. Can you feel the power? You should!
A main purpose of puberty is to develop sexually. Sexual power is a mighty thing that a girl possesses. You aren’t supposed to use it for bad things like controlling other people or making them jealous. You are supposed to protect that power and, then as you mature, share it with the one who has helped you protect it and who also respects and values it.
As a teen, you are developing your ability to appreciate your body, to enjoy sexual feelings and to develop meaningful relationships outside of your family. You have the potential to develop great respect for your sexuality and ability to reproduce. Now that’s good power! You also have the potential to mess it up by having unintended pregnancies, by getting infections that can harm your ability to have babies if you want to in the future and by losing respect for how awesome sex can be in the right relationship. That would be bad power, right?
In our culture and in the human experience, sex is powerful. Don’t let anyone talk you into believing that it’s no big deal.
Power Thieves
The more that you hold on to that special power within you, the stronger it can become. Many people will try to take it away from you. Some teenage boys and some adult men are always trying to take that power away from girls and women. They may do that by trying to become sexually involved too soon or by making comments that make you feel uncomfortable about your body or your sexuality. Same for some advertisers, magazines, movies and other girls—they will try to diminish your sexual power, to make it seem unimportant or not worth taking care of.
All we have to say is that THEY ARE WRONG! You have great power as a girl. They want a piece of it because you have an amazing and wonderful Girl Power! If it weren’t a big deal, nobody would want it or care about it.
Protect Your Girl Power
