Noman took a timetable from his pocket. “See?” he said. “It’s right here on the schedule. The boat doesn’t leave for another hour.”
Max nodded. “That answers my question, thank you.”
Noman backed out the doorway. “Keep your feet dry!” he taunted.
Then he slammed the door.
Max rushed to the door and tried to turn the knob. “Locked!” he said. “We’re prisoners!”
“Max! What can we do?”
“I’m not sure. But, at least, we have an hour to do it in. Try to think of something.”
“Help!” Peaches screamed.
Max shook his head. “That won’t help. You’ll never be able to keep it up for an hour. In ten minutes, you’ll have laryngitis.”
William Johnston
Get Smart 3 — Get Smart Once Again!
10
Max studied the door of the cabin. “That doesn’t look too sturdy to me,” he said. “I think I can break it down.”
“Then do! Don’t just stand around telling me about it!”
Max backed away, then threw his full weight against the door. He bounced off it, hit one wall, then another wall, then the third wall, then tumbled over a chair and landed on his back on the floor.
“Nice try,” Peaches said gloomily.
“Well, I-”
Max was interrupted by a knocking sound on one of the walls.
“Who’s there?” Max called.
“Quiet!” a voice replied.
“That’s the other passenger!” Max said to Peaches. “He, she or it is in the next cabin!”
“What good does that do us?”
“I’m not sure,” Max replied. “But… he, she or it might have an idea. We can use all the help we can get.”
Max got out his ballpoint pen and pressed the button twice. A tongue of flame shot from the end. Max immediately set to work to burn a hole through the wall.
“That he, she or it is probably Noman,” Peaches grumbled.
“We’ll soon know.”
Max removed a round section from the wall, then looked into the hole. He saw Agent 99 peering at him from the other side.
“99!”
“Max!”
“Who is it?” Peaches asked.
“It’s 99!”
“Well, we’ll outnumber Noman, anyway,” Peaches said. “Ninety-nine and you and me, that makes one- hundred-and-one.”
“No, no, this is Agent 99. She’s one of our men.”
“Men?” Peaches said.
“Men?” 99 said.
“That’s a generic term,” Max explained. “At Control, all agents are men. Isn’t that right, 99?”
Silence.
“99?”
“I’m not speaking to you.”
“Then let me put it another way,” Max said. “At Control, all agents are men-except the women.”
Smiling, 99 appeared at the hole again. “Max, what are you doing on this boat?” she said.
“A very good question,” Max replied. “So good, in fact, that I’ll use it myself. 99, what are you doing on this boat?”
“I told you this morning-I’m going on an excursion.”
“Oh… yes. Well, so are we. But not very far. A KAOS agent named Noman has taken over the boat, and he intends to sink it in the ocean.”
“A KAOS agent? But, Max, the only other person on board is Cap’n Andy.”
“That’s Noman.”
“Well, you may be right. I suspected as much. I understand he-or she-wears a corset.”
“No, no-Noman is his name.”
“Max! Something has to be done!” 99 said.
“That’s very observant of you, 99. And, I think I have an idea. First, I want you to come around and open our door. It locks from the outside.”
“Will do, Max.”
A few seconds later, they heard a sound at the door. Then it opened.
“Fine, so far,” Max said to 99. “Now, we’ll go to your cabin.”
“How will that help, Max?”
“Noman doesn’t know that you’re a Control agent, does he?”
“No, I didn’t mention it.”
Max stopped and picked up a length of rope from the deck. “This will come in handy,” he said.
“You haven’t told me what we’re going to do.”
“You haven’t told me, either,” Peaches said.
“Incidentally,” 99 said, looking Peaches up and down, “who is she?”
“She’s a cryptographer.”
“I take pictures of graves,” Peaches explained.
“That’s not what a cryptographer does,” 99 frowned. “A cryptographer deciphers codes.”
“Now you tel me-after I’ve become famous for my pictures of graves!” Peaches said.
“She’s being facetious, 99,” Max explained. “Her responsibility on this mission is to break the KAOS code and decipher the Dooms Day Plan. But her one-track mind has jumped the track.”
“I’m giving up business for romance,” Peaches said.
“Max, I don’t understand any of this,” 99 complained.
“Never mind. Just follow orders,” Max said.
“All right.”
They entered 99’s cabin, and Max closed the door behind them.
“Now,” he said to 99, “use the intercom system and call the Cap’n and order a basket of fruit.”
“A basket of fruit, Max?”
“Tell him you need it for a bon voyage party.”
“Oh… yes, I see.”
“Have him include some purple grapes,” Peaches said. “Purple grapes are romantic.”
“Never mind her,” Max said to 99. “Call.”
99 did as Max requested. And a few minutes later there was a knock at the cabin door.
“Who is it?” 99 called.
“One basket of fruit!”
Max stationed himself at the doorway, holding the length of rope at the ready. He motioned to 99.
“Come in, basket of fruit,” 99 called.
The door opened. Noman entered, carrying a large basket of fruit.
Max leaped at him-and looped the rope tightly over the basket of fruit. Fruit rolled all over the floor.
