“Well, you know about the human robot that R amp; D developed.”
“Of course I know about the human robot that R amp; D developed. Tell me about it.”
“Well, to make a long story short, R amp; D has developed a human robot,” Dr. Medulla explained. “This human robot is really a robot, of course. But it looks human. Therefore, it’s called a human robot.”
“Yes, I’m fully aware of that,” Max said. “Now, why am I here?”
“To operate on the human robot.”
“I see. To take out its mechanical appendix, I suppose.”
Dr. Medulla laughed. “Very funny, Doctor. But you are not here to take out. You are here to put in.”
“Oh, to put in its mechanical appendix. Well, that ought to make medical history of some sort.”
“No, Doctor, to put in the Super Boom.”
“Yes, yes, now I remember,” Max said. “It’s all coming back. There’s just one little detail that still eludes me. What is the Super Boom?”
“That’s the explosive that you will put into the human robot,” Dr. Medulla replied.
“Permanently-or just for temporary safekeeping?” Max asked, as they entered the building and proceeded along a corridor.
“That depends on the world,” Dr. Medulla smiled.
“Oh.”
“The Super Boom is the most destructive explosive ever developed,” Dr. Medulla went on. “After you have implanted the Super Boom in the human robot, the human robot will be released. It will wander off, no one knows where. Then KAOS will announce to the world that the human robot, carrying the Super Boom, is at large.”
“That’ll cause some head-shaking,” Max commented.
“The Super Boom can be detonated from anywhere,” Dr. Medulla said. “It won’t matter where the human robot roams to, we can still set off the explosive. And, if we do set off the explosive, it will destroy the whole world. But-”
“Yes?”
“But, for one hundred million dollars, we will promise not to detonate the explosive.”
“That seems reasonable enough,” Max said.
“Yes, we set the price low because, actually, we don’t want to set off the explosive and destroy the whole world.”
“Oh? Why not?”
Dr. Medulla lowered his voice again. “One of our junior executives has pointed out that we’re part of the world,” he explained. “If we blow up the world, we’ll blow ourselves up, too. That’s the one weak spot in our plan. Don’t let it get out.”
“No one will hear it from me,” Max promised.
They had reached a room. Dr. Medulla opened the door, then led the party inside. On a stretcher was a human robot.
“That fellow looks familiar,” Max frowned.
“Of course,” Dr. Medulla smiled. “He was designed to look exactly like the average citizen. He’ll look familiar to everybody. Clever, eh?”
“Very clever,” Max replied. “But what’s the point of it?”
“Preventive thinking,” Dr. Medulla said. “When we send the human robot out into the world, then make our demand for one hundred million dollars, we are bound to make some enemies. In fact, the whole world will probably unite against us. We will be taken prisoner. We will be tortured. The world will demand to know where the human robot is, so that it can be destroyed.”
“But you won’t tell,” Max said.
“Oh, we would gladly tell, if we were being tortured. But we won’t know. So we won’t be able to tell.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t explain why you made the robot in the image of the average man.”
“Well, when the world finds out that we don’t know where the human robot is, it will say, ‘All right, we’ll find him ourselves. Describe him.’ ”
“And you’ll reply-”
“We’ll say, ‘Oh, he looks like the average man.’ Among all the average-looking men in the world, let them try to find a human robot that looks like the average man!”
“By Harry, that is clever!” Max said.
“Are you ready to operate, Doctor?” Dr. Medulla said.
“Not quite,” Max replied. “I find that an operation has a much greater chance of succeeding if I develop a personal relationship with the patient before I begin cutting.”
“Oh, really? It actually helps, does it?”
“Yes. I try to get the patient to trust me before I take him to the operating room,” Max said. “That way, when he has faith in me, he isn’t as likely to jump up off the operating table and run out screaming when I reach for the knife.”
“Hmmmm, that’s interesting,” Dr. Medulla said thoughtfully. “But, I think, personally, I prefer my own method.”
“How do you do it?” Max asked.
“I sneak up behind them when they’re not looking.”
“To each his own,” Max said. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone with the patient. That is, alone with the patient, and my nurse.”
“How long will it take?” Dr. Medulla asked.
“Oh… three, four days?”
“Could you trim it down to a half-hour?”
“Why not?” Max smiled. “After all, it’s only the patient who has anything to lose by it.”
Dr. Medulla winked. “I like your attitude, Doctor,” he said, leading the other doctors out.
When Max and 99 were alone, Max quickly opened the black bag and got out an explosive. “We have a half- hour,” he said. “We’ll plant this pellet, then we’ll climb out a window and make a run for the helicopter.”
“What about me?” a mechanical-sounding voice said.
“99, I think you’ve caught cold,” Max said.
“Max… that wasn’t me!”
“99, think! It wasn’t me. And you and I and the human robot are the only ones in the room. So, if it wasn’t you, it had to be-” He looked narrowly at the robot. “-you?”
“I was promised an operation,” the robot said. “Nobody’s going to cheat me out of my operation. And, incidentally, what was that business about planting a pellet?”
“Oh, that… that was a technical phrase,” Max replied. “You wouldn’t understand.” He looked more closely at the human robot. “You sound almost human,” he said.
“I am-half.”
“Are you human enough to know what these KAOS agents intend to do to you?” Max said.
“Yes. Isn’t it great!”
“Great? They intend to use you to blackmail the entire world. They’ll send you out into the world, then issue an ultimatum: Put up or Blow up!”
“I’ll be famous!” the human robot enthused. “I’ll be on the front page of every newspaper in the world!”
“But suppose the world refuses to accept the terms? KAOS will detonate the Super Boom. You’ll be destroyed.”
“Big deal,” the human robot replied. “Eventually, everybody dies. But how many people make the front pages?”
“Let me put it another way,” Max said. “Suppose I told you that I’m not really a doctor?”
“Don’t try to weasel out of a promise,” the human robot said. “You can’t fool me. I know you’re a doctor. You’re carrying a little black bag.”
“All right, then suppose I told you that you don’t need an operation? Suppose I told you that all you really need is a lot of rest and a lot of sunshine?”
“I’d report you to Dr. Medulla,” the human robot replied.
“Oh. Well, in that case, I think I better examine you. Sometimes an examination reveals that a patient knows
