more about what is best for him than the doctor. Stick out your tongue.”
The human robot extended its tongue.
“Well… an aluminum tongue,” Max commented. “That probably means something.” He put an ear to the human robot’s chest and listened. “Hmmmm… ticking. That’s undoubtedly an indication of something, too. Tell me, when was the last time you ate a wristwatch?”
“Stop beating around the bush,” the human robot said. “Do I get my operation or don’t I?”
“Well, frankly, it’s my opinion that-”
“Or do I scream for Dr. Medulla?”
“-that you are in desperate need of an operation,” Max finished.
“Then let’s get on with it,” the human robot said. “I want to make the morning editions of the newspapers.”
The door of the room opened. Dr. Medulla entered. “Time’s up,” he said.
“That was a fast half-hour,” Max commented.
“You know how time flies in our racket,” Dr. Medulla said. “It’s cut, cut, cut, and, before you know it, it’s dinnertime, time to carve the roast. A surgeon’s work is never done. Have you established a personal relationship with the patient?”
“We detest each other,” the human robot said.
“That’s as it should be,” Dr. Medulla replied. “What doctor wants to operate on someone he likes?” He signalled to the other doctors, who were waiting in the corridor. “Take the patient to the operating room,” he said.
The other doctors entered, then wheeled away the stretcher that held the human robot.
“Everything is ready for you, Doctor,” Dr. Medulla said to Max. “It is time to make history!”
“Oh?” Max said, pleased. “Do you really think it will go down in history?”
“I am certain,” Dr. Medulla replied. “That is, of course, if, after the Super Boom is detonated, there is any history left.”
“Max,” 99 whispered. “Let’s run!”
“Don’t be ridiculous, 99,” Max whispered back. “You heard Dr. Medulla. This may go down in history.”
“But Max,” 99 hissed. “If the operation is a success, and the human robot is released, and the Super Boom is detonated, you-and all of us-will die!”
“99, everybody has to die eventually,” Max hissed back. “But how many people get the chance to make history?” He faced Dr. Medulla again. “When it goes down in history, what do you suppose it will be called?” he asked.
“I’ve taken care of that,” Dr. Medulla smiled. “I’ve left a note, giving exact instructions. It will be known as-”
“Yes?” Max asked eagerly.
“It will be known as: Operation Operation.”
“I like it,” Max smiled. “It has a nice beat.”
10
When Max, 99 and Dr. Medulla reached the operating room, the patient, the human robot, was already there. He had been transferred from the stretcher to the operating table.
“If you don’t mind,” Max said to Dr. Medulla, “I would like to consult in private with my nurse.”
“I don’t mind,” Dr. Medulla replied. “What does your nurse think about it?”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” 99 smiled. “But what do the other doctors think about it?”
“We’d better poll them,” Dr. Medulla said. He addressed the other doctors, and the other nurses, who were collected around the operating table. “The motion has been made-” he began.
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Max broke in. “As I recall, according to the Geneva Convention, a doctor has a right to consult with his nurse in private no matter what anyone else thinks.” He signalled to 99. “Over here, nurse,” he said, moving toward a secluded corner of the operating room.
When they were alone, Max said, “99, before I begin this operation, there’s one question. How, exactly, do you perform an operation?”
“Max! I thought you knew!”
“Well, I have a general idea. I know you open the patient up, and sort of rummage around inside. And, too, I know you say ‘scaffold’ a lot. But-”
“Not ‘scaffold,’ Max. You say ‘scalpel.’ ”
“Oh. Well, ‘scaffold’ was close. Probably no one would have noticed.”
“Max, a scaffold is a temporary structure erected against a wall to support workmen. A scalpel is a knife. I think someone might have noticed the error.”
“All right, I’ll remember-scalpel, scalpel, scalpel. There now, it’s etched in my mind.”
“Max, are you really going through with this?” 99 said. “You don’t know the first thing about surgery.”
“Yes, I do,” Max replied. “The first thing is: have a sharp knife. It’s the second, third, fourth, fifth and so on things that I don’t know the first thing about. But I have no choice, 99. We have to stall-until we can shake these KAOS people and plant the explosive.”
“All right, Max. But… I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“You ought to be thankful, 99, that I don’t know what I’m doing. If I knew what I was doing, I’d be so shaky I probably couldn’t hold a scaffold.”
“ Scalpel, Max!”
“Oh, yes-scalpel, scalpel, scalpel. I must remember that.”
“Doctor…” Dr. Medulla called. “The patient is ready.”
Max and 99 walked to the operating table.
“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Max said to the human robot.
The human, robot turned to Dr. Medulla. “He’s stalling,” he said. “I demand my operation.”
“Stop stalling,” Dr. Medulla said to Max. “The patient demands his operation.”
Max turned to a nurse. “Stop stalling,” he said. “The patient demands his operation.”
“What am I doing?” the nurse replied, surprised. “I’m just standing here.”
“She admits it-she’s stalling,” Max said to Dr. Medulla.
“Stop stalling, nurse,” Dr. Medulla said to the nurse. “Instead of just standing there, prepare the doctor for the operation.”
The nurse popped a white cap onto Max’s head. “Hold out your hands,” she said.
Max extended his hands, and she slipped a pair of rubber gloves onto them. Next, she tied a mask around his face. “You’re ready, Doctor,” she said.
“I may be ready,” Max replied, “but I feel a little silly. Do I really need these gloves and this mask?”
“They’re essential,” Dr. Medulla insisted.
“Are you sure? Has anybody really thought this out? Just why is it so essential that I wear a mask and rubber gloves?”
“Because, after the operation, we’re all going out and rob a bank,” Dr. Medulla replied. “You’ll need the mask so you won’t be recognized and the rubber gloves so you won’t leave fingerprints on the vault.”
“Fine. That’s all I wanted, a logical explanation,” Max said. He turned to 99. “Are my instruments ready, nurse?”
“What instruments, Max?”
“In the black bag, nurse.”
“Oh. Oh, yes, Doctor.”
“Is the Super Boom ready for the implant?” Max said to Dr. Medulla.
Dr. Medulla held up a small metal box. “Here it is,” he said. “Cute, isn’t it?”
“Cute as a mid-air collision,” Max replied.
“He’s stalling,” the human robot complained.
