“Don’t rush me!” Max snapped.
“Sorry,” the human robot replied. “But it’s my first operation, you know.”
“It’s my first operation, too,” Max said. “But you don’t see me going all to pieces about it.”
“Stop stalling,” Dr. Medulla said.
“All right, here we go,” Max announced. “And, as we proceed, if anyone has any suggestions to make, please speak up. This is a democratic operation. Criticism is welcome.” He extended a hand toward 99. “Scaffold!” he barked.
There was silence in the operating room.
“Well, nurse,” Dr. Medulla said to 99, “hand the doctor a temporary structure erected against a wall to support workers.”
Max chuckled. “Oh… did I say ‘scaffold’? I meant scalpel, nurse.”
99 reached into the bag, then handed Max an instrument. It looked like a flashlight.
“Well, tough luck,” Max smiled. “I guess we’ll have to delay the operation until I can get my scaffold sharpened.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Dr. Medulla said. “Use the zipper, Doctor.”
“The zipper?”
“The zipper!” the human robot said disgustedly. He zipped himself open, from throat to navel, revealing his internal mechanism. “Stop stalling!”
Max stared. Inside, the human robot looked like the interior of a watch. “So, that’s where that ticking was coming from,” he said, relieved.
“Here’s the Super Boom, Doctor,” Dr. Medulla said, handing the metal box toward Max.
“Who’s in charge of this operation!” Max snapped. “When I want the Super Boom, Doctor, I’ll ask for it. Don’t you know anything about surgery? The first rule is, before you put anything in, you first have to take something out!”
“I forgot,” Dr. Medulla replied, withdrawing the Super Boom.
Max peered thoughtfully at the human robot’s mechanism. “Let’s see
… what shall we take out? Something about the size of a small metal box. Ah… here we are-”
“Not that!” the human robot protested.
“Why not? It’s the perfect size.”
“That’s my transistor radio,” the human robot said.
“If that’s your transistor radio, then I think I’ve found your trouble,” Max said. “It’s in the wrong place. Isn’t it supposed to be attached to your ear?”
“It’s in there so I can keep both hands free,” the robot explained.
“Oh.” Max inspected the mechanism again. “This may partly be the solution,” he said. “If I take out this tuning fork and put in a safety pin, that will save a little space. Then if I take out… yes, I think this is the way to do it. I’ll remove some of these larger items, and put in smaller items, and the space that is saved can be used to hold the Super Boom.”
“Brilliant!” Dr. Medulla said. “I knew we had the right doctor!”
“It seems to be working out,” the human robot said grudgingly. “But there for a while I thought he was stalling.”
“These things take thought,” Max said.
“Stop stalling!” the human robot grumbled.
Max removed a part and handed it to 99. “Something smaller,” he ordered.
She handed him an item from the black bag. And Max fitted it into place.
“Can’t you hurry?” the human robot complained. “It’s no fun lying here with my zipper open.”
“I’m operating as fast as I can,” Max replied irritably. “If you don’t like the way I’m doing it, you can get up from that table and operate on yourself.”
“If you don’t stop stalling, I will!” the robot growled.
Max worked more quickly. The parts flew. Out of the human robot came bits and pieces of mechanism, and into the human robot went items from the black bag. Finally, Max stepped back from the table, exhausted.
“There we are,” he sighed. “Now, all there is left to do is the closing.” He addressed Dr. Medulla. “Would you like to zip the zipper, Doctor?”
“Haven’t you forgotten something?” Dr. Medulla smiled.
“I don’t think so. There seems to be plenty of room in there for the Super Boom now.”
“The implant,” Dr. Medulla said. “You haven’t placed the Super Boom inside the human robot.”
“Oh… that…”
Dr. Medulla handed the Super Boom to Max.
“Now then…” Max said, bending over the human robot.
At that moment, the operating room door opened.
“Shut that door!” Max cried. “Do you want to let a lot of germs in!”
“Impostor!” a voice shouted.
Max looked up. The others looked around.
In the doorway was a large man with a small black bag.
“Who are you?” Dr. Medulla asked puzzledly.
“I am the doctor!” the man replied. “I am here to perform the operation!”
“You’re late,” Max said. “The operation is over. But, leave your card. If another operation ever comes up, we’ll call you.”
“Impostor!” the man shrieked.
“If you’re the doctor,” Dr. Medulla said to the man, “why are you so late?”
“My car was stopped,” the man replied. “There’s a helicopter blocking the road.”
“A likely story,” Max scoffed.
“I can prove I’m the doctor,” the man said. “Look-here is my little black bag!”
“But he has a little black bag, too,” Dr. Medulla said, indicating Max.
“My little black bag is blacker than his little black bag!” the man raged.
Dr. Medulla looked at Max’s little black bag, then at the man’s little black bag. “I think you’re right,” he said. “Your little black bag is blacker than his little black bag,” he said.
“Yes,” Max pointed out, “but my little black bag is littler than his little black bag.”
Dr. Medulla looked at both of the little black bags again. “That’s true,” he admitted. “Your little black bag is littler than his little black bag.”
“Is somebody going to zip me up?” the human robot complained.
“Not yet,” Max said. “I think I left my scaffold inside.”
“Ha-hah!” the man cried. “There is the proof! He is an impostor! He doesn’t know a scrample from a scaffold!”
“That did it!” Dr. Medulla shouted. He reached across the table and ripped the mask from Max’s face. “You’re unmasked!” he said.
“Aren’t you being a little hasty?” Max protested. “How can you be sure? Maybe that other fellow is the impostor.”
“No, I’m positive,” Dr. Medulla replied. “The impostor is always the one who gets unmasked. And, since the other fellow isn’t wearing a mask… well, you see how it works out.”
“I’ll accept that,” Max replied. He turned to 99. “What was it you said earlier?”
“When, Max?”
“When we were in the examining room.”
“Oh. I said, ‘Let’s run, Max!’ ”
“That’s it. I knew there was a way out of this situation. All right, 99-let’s run!”
Max grabbed up the black satchel and he and 99 raced from the room.
“Stop them!” the human robot cried. “I’m still unzipped!”
Max and 99 dashed down a corridor.
Behind them, they heard running, and voices crying, “Halt! Stop!”
“This is the chase,” Max said to 99.
