“Now’s our chance, 99!” Max said. “Through that hole in the wall!”
They jumped up and ran.
Flashes of light began exploding in the vicinity of the hole.
Max halted, stopping 99.
“He’s got us, 99,” he said. “We’re out in the open. Get behind me-I’ll shield you from the zops.”
“But, Max-”
“Get behind me, 99!” Max commanded. “It’s the only safe place in the room!”
“All right, Max. But-”
At that instant, Guru Optimo fired.
Max ducked.
And 99 got the zop square between the eyes.
“Hold your zops!” Lucky Bucky said to Guru Optimo.
The remaining guards seized Max and 99 and held them tight.
“Hands off!” 99 cried, trying to break loose. “I have a schedule to keep!”
“99?” Max said, staring at her. “A schedule? What are you talking about?”
“Are you speaking to me, sir?” she replied vacantly. “If you are, please address me by my rightful name. I’m the Staten Island Ferry.”
Max sighed sadly. “Zopped.”
“Take them to the dungeon,” Lucky Bucky said to the guards. “Let’s proceed with the execution.”
The guards hustled Max and 99 from the room and along a corridor. Lucky Bucky Buckley and Guru Optimo followed close behind.
99 shivered.
“What’s the matter?” Max asked.
“The water is cold today,” she replied.
“99, you’re not the Staten Island Ferry. You only
“Then why are all those passengers standing at my rail?”
“99, you only think-”
“Excuse me,” 99 broke in. “The Queen Elizabeth is passing. I have to blow my whistle in salute.”
“Too bad she has to die,” Lucky Bucky said. “I could book an act like that. Ed Sullivan would be crazy to introduce the Staten Island Ferry from the audience.”
“If you’re going to kill us, why are you taking us to the dungeon?” Max asked.
“That’s where all the killing stuff is,” Lucky Bucky explained. “Don Juan O’Houlihan, the Spanish gentleman who built this castle a long time ago did a lot of killing. It was kind of a hobby with him. He had a very nice little killing set-up in the dungeon. In them days, I guess, you had to think up your own time-passers. There wasn’t no television.”
They descended a dimly-lighted stone stairway, then entered a narrow corridor.
99 began humming.
“99, what are you doing?”
“I’m humming along.”
“Along? Along with what?”
“I’m carrying a rock ’n’ roll group to Staten Island to play at a mugging and they’re on my top deck, practicing,” she replied.
They entered a large chamber that was furnished with various implements of torture, a rack and a screw and a tape machine that played back old political speeches. The guards took Max and 99 to a device that looked like a wishing well.
“Well?” Max said.
“That’s what it is, all right,” Lucky Bucky replied.
“What I meant was, well, what happens now?”
“Look into the well,” Lucky Bucky said.
“Oh, no you don’t. I’ve been around a bit too long to fall for the old when-he-looks-into-the-well-somebody- will-give-him-a-shove-from-behind trick.”
“Nobody will push,” Lucky Bucky replied. “Honest-on my word as an agent.”
“Ah. . could you do a little better than that?”
“All right, on my word as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.”
“That’s better.”
Max peered down into the well. “Ummmm. . boiling oil,” he said. “And what are those lumps in it?”
“Crocodiles.”
“Boiling oil swimming with crocodiles. Isn’t that sort of gilding the lily? Wouldn’t one or the other, boiling oil
“With me, it’s playing it safe,” Lucky Bucky replied. “If the oil don’t get the victim, the crocodiles will. And what difference does it make to the victim? A guy that’s drowning in boiling oil don’t mind a little thing like a nibble from a crocodile.”
“Ughhhhh!” 99 shuddered.
“You’re frightening the Staten Island Ferry,” Max said to Lucky Bucky.
“It isn’t that,” 99 said. “The passengers are littering my decks with gum wrappers and paper cups.”
“How, exactly, do you expect to get us into the well?” Max asked Lucky Bucky. “Remember, you gave us your word as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court that you wouldn’t shove us from behind.”
“You can shove me from behind,” 99 said to Lucky Bucky. “It will serve those litter-bugs right.”
Lucky Bucky pointed to a large bucket that was suspended over the well. “See the bucket?”
“Yes, I see the bucket,” Max replied.
Lucky Bucky pointed to a crank at the side of the well. “See the crank?”
“Yessss. . I see the crank.”
“You’ll be in the bucket,” Lucky Bucky explained. “When the crank is turned, down will go the bucket. Understand?”
Max looked closely at the bucket, then at the crank. “It won’t work,” he answered.
“Why not?”
“I won’t be able to reach that crank from the bucket. It’s too far.”
“You think I’d make you turn your own crank?” Lucky Bucky said, hurt. “What kind of a host would I be?” He indicated one of the guards. “He’ll turn the crank.”
“In that case, maybe it’ll work,” Max said.
“Into the bucket,” Lucky Bucky commanded.
“And. . suppose we refuse?” Max said defiantly.
Lucky Bucky pulled a gun and pointed it at him. “If you refuse, we’ll just have to skip the bucket bit and get straight to the killing.”
Max smiled cunningly. “Well, Lucky Bucky Buckley, you’ve finally showed your hand, eh? You
“Pardon?”
“Do you actually believe that two highly-trained secret agents would be stupid enough to come to this island alone? We’ve just been playing along, waiting for you to make that one fatal mistake that every criminal finally makes. And you, Lucky Bucky Buckley, have made it. You’ve threatened us with murder. That’s against the law, you know. Now, we have something on you!”
“Will you get to the point?” Lucky Bucky said. “The crocodiles haven’t been fed in a week.”
“The point is that this castle is completely surrounded.”
“With what?”
“With hundreds of Control agents.”
“How did they get here?”
“How did they get here? Well, ah, they dropped by parachute.”
