Don’t Be Afraid to Call in Support
In war, the general receives his commands from the sovereign, collects his army and concentrates his forces.
It is said the warrior’s is the twofold Way of pen and sword, and he should have a taste for both Ways.
Bullies often look for victims who are eager to preserve their social status or are afraid to lose face, the kinds of guys who are willing to play the escalato game. They are reluctant, however, to take on a challenge that they cannot win. A large group of people changes the equation in your potential opponent’s eyes very quickly. If you are willing to call in support rather than going it alone, you are no longer a helpless victim, but rather a well- protected target.
If you have friends that are willing to help you, call them in immediately before a bad situation comes to blows. This can often end a fight before it begins. If you are dealing with an antagonistic group of guys or, God forbid, a criminal gang, they are already assembled so you are on the short end numbers-wise, or in other words outnumbered, if you cannot gather additional support.
Before he founded his own
“Somebody should do something.” A woman said, and all heads turned expectantly toward Wilder, the karate black belt. “Like what?” he thought, then, deciding he should take responsibility to act, he turned down the hall, rounded the corner and opened the door to the gym. He then let out the best karate
“Hey,” he said, signaling with his thumb over his shoulder. “The front desk just called the cops; thought you should know.”
With that, he backed the two steps out the door, turned, and left without saying another word. He had advantage of a martial arts outfit that conveyed some level of authority. Using that influence, he yelled at them, made his statement, and left. The threat of repercussions was enough to end the fight before it began, as the players quickly dispersed and exited the building.
Despite what he had told the youths, however, the front desk was located at the other end of the building. Since they were so far away from the action, the desk staff had no idea that anything untoward had occurred, and in fact, had not called the police. Regardless, the police were very real in the minds of the basketball players. Wilder solved the problem by appearing to call in support, and that was all that counted at that moment.
You cannot always bluff though. Simply saying that your friends who are all karate experts are outside, or, “You’re gonna get it when…” is not effective, so don’t bother taking that route. It doesn’t play well in court either. A plausible and instantly believable threat, on the other hand, can be very effective.
Wilder’s intervention not only solved the problem, but kept him safe as well. Standing in the doorway and shouting, he was never close enough to the youths to be at risk. Furthermore, they were only wearing shorts and shoes, so the chances of a hidden long-distance weapon such as a gun were practically non-existent. Upon launching the “cop bomb” he left immediately, knowing that interfering in somebody else’s fight could mean trouble.
Calling in support is often a useful way of cutting short a fight before it begins. A large group of people changes the equation in your adversary’s eyes very quickly. You are no longer a helpless victim, but rather a well- protected target. A plausible threat of authority, such as contacting 9-1-1 might work too. Don’t be afraid to call in support when you need help.
Calling in support is often a useful way of precluding the imperative to fight. Use it when you can to make yourself a harder target.
Your Words are a Weapon, Use Them Wisely
Humble words and increased preparations are signs that the enemy is about to advance. Violent language and driving forward as if to the attack are signs that he will retreat.
There is a time and place for use of weapons.
What you say during a tense encounter can make a crucial difference between your ability to walk away from a potential adversary versus a requirement to fight your way clear. On the one hand, you might be able to verbally de-escalate a tense situation, while on the other you can just as easily set the other guy off if you are not careful. Consequently, while sticks and stones may break your bones, your words can actually kill you. Doesn’t quite match the nursery rhyme, yet this insight is nothing new. The following parable from biblical times (Midrash Psalms 39 from Rapaport’s book) describes the power of the tongue, the life or death impact your words can make:
How flexible is the tongue, and how great is its power! A Persian king’s physicians ordered him to drink the milk of a lioness to maintain his health. Seeking favor from the king, one of his servants offered to procure this rare medicine.
Taking with him some sheep with which to lure the beast, the servant actually succeeded in obtaining milk from a lioness. Fatigued from his trials, he took a break on his journey homeward and fell into a deep sleep. During his slumber, the various members of his body began to argue about which of them had contributed most towards the success of their owner in obtaining so rare a thing as lioness milk.
The feet began the argument saying, “There can be no doubt that we are the only factors in this successful undertaking. Without us there could have been no setting out on this dangerous venture.”
“Not so,” retorted the hands. “The facility you offered would have been of no avail had our power not been called into requisition. It is the service we rendered that enabled our owner to procure milk from the lioness.”
“Neither of you could have rendered any service,” exclaimed the eyes, “without the sight which we supplied.”
“And yet,” interrupted the heart, “had not I inspired the idea, no steps would have been taken to bring any of your powers into exercise.”
At last the tongue put in his claim, and was utterly ridiculed by the unanimous opinions of all the other contending members of the body. “You,” they scornfully replied, “You who have not the free power of action which is possessed by all and each of us. You who are imprisoned in the narrow space of the human mouth, you dare to put in a claim to have contributed to this success!” In the midst of this contention the man awoke and proceeded on his journey home.
