on getting married, be faithful to your wife. A few moments of pleasure is never worth the consequences of getting caught cheating, particularly when your soon-to-be ex-wife can use the legal system to make your life a living hell in retribution. False accusations of domestic abuse often stem from resentment. Hell hath no fury, and all that…
The money issue can be a bit more of a challenge, but nothing insurmountable. Never commingle your assets by conjoining your bank accounts, sharing credit cards, buying a house, or making investments together without the legal protections of marriage. Strongly consider a pre-nuptial agreement as well. Many couples find that they can eliminate much of the stress by maintaining separate bank accounts while collaborating on large purchases after they are married too. This type of arrangement also makes it much harder for your partner to pilfer your bank account without your knowledge.
There is no excuse for beating a woman. Unfortunately, even the accusation of abusing your significant other can land you in serious trouble. While both men and women can instigate violence, men are statistically more likely to be the perpetrator. Consequently, the laws of domestic violence are written and enforced to err on the side of caution. This means that they are stacked against you as a man. Act accordingly.
A Fight Can Take Place Over Time; It’s Called a Feud, and It Is Bad
In war, then, let your great object be victory, not lengthy campaigns.
The essence of strategy is to fall upon the enemy in large numbers and to bring about his speedy downfall.
A fight can take place over a long period of time. It’s called a feud, and it’s bad. For example, in 1878 a hog was stolen in the Appalachian Mountains. Twelve years later, in 1891, the result of the feud was
• One deserted pregnant woman (the guy left her for her cousin).
• One kidnapping.
• More than a dozen men dead, one stabbed 26 times and subsequently shot.
• About twelve bounty hunters presumed dead as they never returned and were never found.
• The call up of the West Virginia National Guard.
• Intervention by The U.S. Supreme Court.
• Seven life imprisonments.
• And, one hanging.
Want to get even with someone? Want to bump up against the law for your brand of justice? Just remember the Hatfields and McCoys because over a hundred years ago they got into a feud not too different from the one you might be thinking about. Nothing good will come of it. Don’t start a feud. Oh, and in case you are wondering, nobody is really sure what happened to the hog.
Could something like this happen to you? Could you start something that you can’t stop? Absolutely! Perhaps you have a girlfriend that wants to go out with some guy from the other fraternity so you decide to have a blanket party[33] and beat him senseless. His fraternity brothers subsequently get together and come gunning for you. Guess what? You’ve just started a feud.
Is this sort of thing real? You bet. Though he was not involved in the violence, something just like this happened in 1986 while Kane was in college. The instigator supposedly told his buddies that the other guy had raped his girlfriend, a claim she vehemently denied. No one died but there was at least one hospitalization, a very long recovery for the victim, several visits from the police, and more than one arrest.
Fistfights, acts of vandalism, and serious hard feelings between these two fraternities lasted for years, long after the guys involved in the incident had graduated and moved away. On one occasion, about a year after the original incident, Kane had to band together with a group of his fraternity brothers to prevent another guy, Ron, from bringing his gun to one of the subsequent brawls. Had they not intervened, someone would undoubtedly have been killed in that street fight.
A fight can take place over a long period of time. It’s called a feud and it’s bad. Feuds tend to begin because one party correctly or incorrectly perceives itself to have been insulted, wronged, or attacked by another. A long- running cycle of retaliation then ensues. Feuds can last for generations, even in modern times where certain cultures practice revenge killings today. Often the original cause is forgotten, yet the cycle of violence continues simply because it is perceived that there has always been a feud. Consider this before you do something stupid.
Violence is bad. Long-running violence is particularly so. Feuds tend to begin because one party correctly or incorrectly perceives itself to have been insulted, wronged, or physically attacked by another. Like the Hatfields and McCoys, a long-running cycle of retaliation, often involving the original parties’ family members and/or associates, then ensues. Feuds can last for generations, even in modern times where certain cultures practice revenge killings today.
For example, American hip-hop and rap stars are famous for taking verbal potshots at each other. This war of words occasionally turns into physical violence, sometimes even murder. Perhaps the most infamous incident of this type was the dispute between Tupac Shakur and Christopher Wallace, known to his fans as The Notorious BIG. These two principles may or may not have been directly involved with the violence, yet it nevertheless escalated out of control. There were several attacks on both of these rap stars as well as on their friends and associates, including several shootings. The feud ended after Shakur was gunned down on September 13, 1996 in a drive-by shooting and Wallace was subsequently assassinated on March 9, 1997.
A fight can take place over a long period of time; it’s called a feud and it’s bad. Consider this before you do something stupid. Just because you think it’s over doesn’t mean that the other guy agrees. Once the ball gets rolling, it may not stop until someone is dead. And maybe not even then.
Summary
The following is a brief recap of the content you have read in this section.
• The fight itself is only the beginning. Win or lose, there’s always a cost to violence. Once you survive a violent conflict, there are a host of other consequences to address, including triage, legal issues, managing witnesses, dealing with the press, interacting with law enforcement, and dealing with psychological trauma.
• If you have been wounded in a fight you may have to tend the injuries yourself until professional help can arrive. Check the incident scene to make sure that it is safe, call 9-1-1 or your local emergency number for help, and then begin to care for the victims. Once you have taken care of your own life-threatening injuries you will also want to treat your opponent too.
• If you’re an average guy or found yourself hopelessly outmatched you may be less traumatized than if you considered yourself a real “fighter” yet got beat down regardless. Anything you live through can be a good thing so long as you learn something from it. Wait a few days to regain your emotional equilibrium, dispassionately evaluate your objectives, and then figure out what, if anything, you should do differently in the future.
• It is perfectly normal to experience grief and anguish after traumatic events. Exposure to highly stressful experiences may lead to serious psychological trauma. Symptoms can occur whether you win, lose, or even witness a violent encounter. If you have been involved in an altercation and experience recurring emotional effects for more than a few days, it is a good idea to consider professional counseling to facilitate a healthy recovery.
• Traumatic situations are frequently associated with critical incident amnesia. The greater the stress, the
