greater your potential of experiencing memory problems. Although you may not remember much about a traumatic incident right after it occurs, you should experience significant memory recovery after a good night’s sleep.
• Retain your composure and conduct yourself in a mature manner at all times when interacting with law enforcement personnel at the scene. A confrontational attitude will do you no good. Don’t exaggerate; it will be interpreted in the worst possible light when it is read in court. Don’t threaten; there is no question that it will be used against you if you do.
• Law enforcement officers have to have a shell; without it, they can’t function. They are not bad people, but they simply see, hear, and feel too much to allow an emotional attachment for every person and every problem. Police officers don’t like fighting, so if you get into a fight they almost certainly are not going to be all that thrilled with you.
• The average person is woefully unprepared to defend himself in court. You want someone fully committed to win your case. This legal fight is just as dangerous if not more so than the physical fight you just survived. You may be facing both criminal and civil litigation with your freedom, your job, your house, your relationships, and your money on the line.
• Courts are not interested in justice; they are interested in resolution. While the thought of jail might be abhorrent to you, to the professional criminal a jail stay or prison term is a minor inconvenience. Recidivism rates are very high. If you engage in violence, you can expect lengthy and expensive criminal and/or civil litigation proceedings.
• You may be excited to do an interview or get in front of the cameras, but it is very important to look before you leap into headlines. Never forget that your fifteen minutes of fame could easily be used against you in a court of law. Avoid talking to reporters unless specifically advised by your attorney that it will help your case to do so.
• There is no excuse for beating a woman. Unfortunately, even the accusation of abuse can land you in serious trouble. The laws of domestic violence are written and enforced to err on the side of caution. Consequently, they are stacked against you as a man. Know this and act accordingly.
• A fight can take place over a long period of time. It’s called a feud and it’s bad. Feuds can last for generations, even in modern times where certain cultures practice revenge killings today. Consider this before you do something stupid.
Conclusion
I cleansed the mirror of my heart — now it reflects the moon.
Violence is a complex and disturbing subject, one that requires careful study and first-hand experience to truly understand. In this book, we have presented what we hope is a clear, thorough, realistic, and thought- provoking analysis of violence. You have read real-life examples of violent people, examined their brutal behavior, and have a good understanding of the harsh realities of the aftermath of violence.
You have probably noticed by now that the “before” section is much longer than the “during” or “after” sections of this book. That was done intentionally because, let’s face it, you have a lot more control about what happens to you before a confrontation gets physical than you do during the fighting or after the smoke has cleared. Once you get violent, much of what follows places your fate in the hands of others.
Now that you have finished the book, you should be able to recognize behaviors, both in others as well as in yourself, that may lead to a fight. Understanding these situations can help you make the right choices for success in conflict resolution. Sometimes you really do need to fight yet most of the time it’s the wrong thing to do.
To summarize what you’ve read we would like to leave you with these four simple rules of self-defense:
• Rule Number One: “Don’t get hit.” That’s primarily about using awareness, avoidance, and de-escalation to eliminate the need to fight in the first place. Where a physical confrontation is unavoidable, it’s also about warding off the other guy’s blows so that you can counterattack successfully.
• Rule Number Two: “Stop him from continuing to attack you.” A purely defensive response is insufficient in a street fight as it can only keep you safe for a very short period of time. You must stop the assault that is in progress so that you can escape to safety or otherwise remain safe until help arrives. Your goal is to be safe, not to kill your attacker or teach him a lesson.
• Rule Number Three: “Always have a Plan B.” No matter how good a fighter you are, whatever you try is not necessarily going to work. The other guy will be doing his damnedest to pound your face in, pulling out every dirty trick he can think of in an effort to mess you up. It is prudent, therefore, to have a Plan B, some alternative you can move to without missing a beat when things go awry.
• Rule Number Four: “Don’t go to jail.” This is about judicious use of force, both knowing when it is appropriate to take action as well as knowing how much force to apply. The AOJP principle can hold you in good stead during conflict situations.
Now is the right time to put some heavy thought into what you have learned. Flip back to the checklist in Appendix A. See if what you have read changes any of your original answers.
Be smart, use your head, and stay safe.
Afterword (by Lt. Colonel John R. Finch)
Lawrence Kane was kind enough to ask me to write a few words about what I have described as “the cost of it” as related to the area interpersonal violence. I have written previously that the phrase is derived from my work in the U.S. Army where I researched many areas for classes presented at the U.S. Army Command and General Staff College (CGSC). During these efforts, I once again came across a painting by the famed combat artist Tom Lea, titled “The Price,” depicting a terribly wounded U.S. combatant as he struggled forward during the fighting at Peleieu during WWII in the Pacific (www.pbs.org/theydrewfire/gallery/large/019.html).
In my various experiences, mostly as a soldier, I have come to the conclusion that for most of us, lethal force confrontations ultimately extract a cost, potentially for the rest of our lives. When forced to fight, and perhaps even to kill another human being, there are the well-known possible court-related consequences and costs, even when you are found legally justified. Not so widely acknowledged are the likely long-term effects on the survivor of interpersonal violence, be it in conflicts like those in Iraq or Afghanistan in the war against terror, or on the mean streets here at home as a law enforcement officer, security guard, or private citizen.
The authors have included in Appendix A, a checklist they have titled “How Far Am I Willing to Go?” They ask that you complete it before reading their book. I second their recommendation as I feel that your answers, if honestly given, may serve you well if you ever encounter the need to engage in potentially deadly conflict.
What do I mean by the phrase “the cost of it?” Most of us easily recognize that in lethal force situations, the primary objective is to win, hopefully without loss of life or resulting injury. I contend that there are also psychological costs even when you prevail, that may have, over an extended period, serious life influencing
