Almost Perfect

'And?' He traced her jaw with kisses.

She took his face in both her hands to get his attention. 'They want to include me in the show.'

'Makes sense.' Brushing her hair back, he went for her ear.

The tip of his tongue traced the shell, sending a delicious shiver all the way to her toes. 'Mmm, that feels good.' What had she been saying? Oh

Plus I had you. Then I won that scholarship, and everything changed. Everyone turned against me. They hated me.'

'Okay, Maddy, first of all, you're not in high school anymore. Back then, we ran with a crowd of losers, most of whom were doing or dealing drugs. So of course they grew distrustful when they found out you weren't really one of them. You had goals and dreams they couldn't understand, and you were actually going after them.'

'It isn't going after your dreams that makes people resent you, it's having your dreams come true without paying a price.'

'No, it's pursuing them behind people's back.' Anger flared in his voice.

She bit her lip, watching as his face hardened.

Exhaling in a gust, he looked away. 'I'm sorry.

I didn't mean-' He turned back to her, calm now but intense. 'Maddy, you are meant for great things. I think I've always sensed that about you.

You have so much talent. So much… life inside you. I think that's what drew me to you then and now.' His hand tightened on hers. 'Don't hold yourself back because of what people think. Who cares what people think?'

'I care! I like people. I don't want to hurt them.'

'Hurt them?'

'Yes. It's like with Tammy Andersen.'

'Tammy who?'

'Andersen. We had several art classes together in high school, and she was really good.' He still looked blank, so she smirked. 'A lot of the kids called her Tammy the Toad.'

'Ah, yes. I remember. The girl who had no neck.'

'Of all the friends who turned against me, she was the one who hurt the worst. I didn't know until later that she'd applied for the same scholarship- because I'd told her about it. I'd told her how'good she was and encouraged her to show her work. So she applied. And I beat her out. After that, she would never look me in the eye when we talked. She wasn't openly ugly to me, like some of our friends were, but I felt like I'd run over her cat and had no idea how to tell her I was sorry.'

'Maddy…' He let out a scoffing breath. 'Screw sorry. She was jealous. That was her problem.'

She pulled back, aghast. 'That is so cruel. And you aren't a cruel person. Normally.'

'Life is cruel.'

'Oh yes, let's be glib. 'Life is cruel.' That may be true, but I don't have to add to it.'

'What, by succeeding? By knowing what you want and going after it? And when I said that was her problem, I meant she wasn't your friend if she let that get between you. You cared enough to encourage her, and she got miffed over your success rather than cheering you on? Definitely screw sorry.'

'I just…'

'What?'

'I want everyone to succeed.'

'I know.' He caressed her cheek. 'That's part of your magic.'

'What am I going to do?' She turned fully toward him. 'I want to grab on to this, but it's so big, and I don't know if I'm ready. Plus, I've made friends here, and I don't want to alienate them.'

'Who, Carol and the others?'

And you, she thought.

He studied her a long moment, then moved off the bed to prowl the room. 'I don't understand why your friendship with the staff here should hold you back. This is a summer job for you. Your main objective in coming here was to check out the galleries. The coordinators are barely more than acquaintances to you. Temporary friends. When the summer is over, you'll get on with your real lift-back in Austin.' He turned back to her. 'Right?'

What was he saying? Was he asking if she had any interest in staying? Before she could ask, the phone in the other room rang.

He glanced toward the sound, then mumbled something about needing to get the call.

She sat, wondering for the thousandth time what was going on between them. She knew she wanted more, but how much more? And what did he want? Perhaps it was time to build up the courage to ask.

She rose on shaky legs and moved to the doorway. Listening absently at first, then with growing interest as she realized he was talking to Derrick, his Ranger buddy, about starting the boot camp he'd mentioned. By the time he hung up, she was staring at him in disbelief.

'What's wrong?' he asked, frowning.

'You're going ahead with your plans for the boot camp.'

'Yeah.' He shrugged as if it were no big deal. 'I talked it over with Mom, and she insisted she'd be fine with it.'

'When?'

'A few days ago?'

'And you didn't think about sharing that with me?'

That internal wall he'd perfected rose up in an instant, blocking her out.

She flung an arm toward the bedroom. 'You just chastised me for not sharing my dreams with you fifteen years ago, and now you're pursuing this behind my back?'

'It wasn't 'behind your back.' I told you I was thinking about it.'

'But not that you were going through with it.'

'This has nothing to do with us.' He headed for the refrigerator and pulled out a can of cola.

'I told you I'd help-'

'I don't want you to help!' He whirled to face her, his expression so hard, hurt struck her chest. He turned back to the counter, popped the can open. 'You're leaving at the end of summer, remember?' He glanced back at her, but only briefly. 'Why waste what time we have together talking about business plans?'

'Because this is your dream. And you weren't going to share it with me… even though we're sleeping together.'

'One has nothing to do with the other.'

'Oh, well, excuse me for confusing sex with intimacy.'

'Maddy, don't do this.' He sighed heavily. 'We're barely feeling our way along as it is. The past doesn't disappear just because we're getting along in the present.'

She stared at him. 'You said love was something that didn't have to be earned. It either is or it isn't. What about forgiveness? Does that have to be earned? If so, give me a task. Tell me what to do. How do I earn your trust if you're not willing to give me a chance?'

'What exactly are you asking for here? Do you even know what you want out of this thing between us?' Exasperation hardened his face. 'Don't jack with me, Maddy! You can't come out here for one flippin' summer and expect me to jump right back into a serious relationship.'

'What is it you want from this 'thing between us'?'

'Stop-' He took several deep breaths, but when he looked at her, his eyes blazed. 'I took a blind leap for you once and fell flat on my face. Don't ask me to do it again. I prefer to take things slower these days.'

'Apparently!' Her anger ignited. 'You're only willing to jump off the high board when it's something you really want. I guess I don't meet that criteria.' She started to storm out, but whirled back. 'You want to take things slowly? All right. No problem. In fact, I think we should take things very slowly. As in, I need to be in your life more before I share my body with you again. Because until you're willing to share something of yourself, that's just a little too personal for me.' She strode toward the door.

'Maddy…'

'Forget it, Joe. I realize you're worried about getting hurt. Well, join the club. We're all worried about getting