Ghost Hero

“Lydia Chin. I work with Mr. Oblomov when he’s in town.”

Haig’s smirk said he knew exactly what my work involved. While his damp, fleshy hand groped mine, Bill, uninvited, pulled a chair up to Haig’s worktable. After forever, Haig’s fingers opened and I found myself wondering how soon I could wash. Bill, blissfully uncaring, craned his neck to see the prints spread along the table. He picked one up to have a look. Though he held the purple-and-green extravaganza only at the outermost edges, Haig still snapped, “I’m sorry, I have to ask you not to touch that. If you want to see something I’ll be glad to show it to you.”

Bill’s eyes met Haig’s. Slowly he put the print down. “Forgiff me.” He gave a thin smile. “Sometimes I forget American rules.”

“Yes, well, no harm done.” Haig’s smile was as bogus as Bill’s. “So.” He seated himself at the table, too. “Now that you’ve invaded my office and ruined my meeting, who the hell are you and why shouldn’t I throw you out?”

“Leetle Neeky don’t tell you?” Bill spread his hands in surprise. “Vladimir Oblomov. I’m new collector.”

“How nice. So what?”

“Sorry about meetink, by da vay. Looked interestink.”

“Forget it. She’s pathetic, and so’s her work. You saved me a wasted afternoon. Which doesn’t mean I owe you anything.”

“No,” Bill said, grinning. “But I’m looking for someting, maybe you hev it.”

“If I don’t throw you out, and if it’s a question of what’s in our inventory, Nick has the complete catalog and can sit you down with a PowerPoint presentation.”

Bill shook his head cheerfully. “Leetle Neek tells me he got no idea vat I’m talking about. Dah?” Bill looked at me and I nodded. “But I’m theenking, Meester Haig, he knows everytink about dese Chinese. Maybe he can tell me.”

Haig waited, and finally asked, “Tell you what?”

Bill’s smile split his face in two. “Tell me vether you got new paintinks by Chau Gvai Yink Shunk.”

It took Haig a few moments to figure out exactly what Bill had said, he’d managled the Chinese so badly. “Gwai Ying Shung? The Ghost Hero? New? What are you talking about? Chau’s been dead for twenty years.”

“So efferybody says. But I hear somebody has new paintinks.”

“You mean, just found?”

“No, Meester Haig, I mean chust painted. New.”

“That’s absurd.”

“So you don’t know nothink?”

“Of course not. Mr.—Oblomov?—if someone’s told you that, they’re joking. Or they’re trying to separate you from your money.”

“Taking edventage?” Bill seemed unable to comprehend the idea. “Of Vladimir Oblomov?”

“Almost certainly.” Haig gave Bill a patronizing smile. Then it faded, replaced by a contemplative look. He sat back, folding his hands and crossing his ankles. “If there were new Chaus,” he said, as if rolling this idea around in his mind for the first time, “of course that would have to mean that Chau was alive. I suppose that’s possible. In the sense that anything’s possible, I mean.” He frowned to himself, then asked, “Who did you say told you about these paintings?”

“I don’t remember.” Bill’s smiling apology was patently false. “Chust, I hear dis, and I tink, Vladimir, iff dere really are such tinks, you vant dem very much, don’t you?”

Haig nodded slowly. “Mr. Oblomov, wanting is one thing. Being in a position to have? That’s another.”

“Vat are you saying? You’re esking iff I hev money?” Bill pointed to himself with a be-ringed finger. “You Americans, alvays beating da bush. Meester Haig, my friend, I got lots uff money. Lots uff money, and lots uff friends vit lots uff money. Iff Chau got new paintinks, I vant dem. And I’m, vat you said, in a position to have dem. In fect,” he leaned forward, lowering his voice, “I’m not in no position not to have dem. If you see what I mean.”

I saw he meant nothing at all, but Doug Haig wasn’t so sure. Also, he’d heard the word “money” a number of times.

“Well,” Haig’s pudgy hand rubbed both his chins, “why don’t we do this? I’m intrigued. I’ll check around. Leave me your contact information, and if I come up with anything, I’ll give you a call.”

“Dah.” Bill nodded. “Dat sounds fine. You got pen?” Bill always carries pen and paper with him, but he waited patiently while Haig, after an irritated look, swiveled his chair to his desk and picked up a pen and one of his own business cards. Bill gave him my cell phone number, then stood to leave. “You find da Chaus,” he instructed Haig amiably, “den you call Brown Eyes here. Vould be a pleasure to do business vit you.”

In the crashing silence of Doug Haig not urging us to stay we strode through the office, trailed by Caitlin’s nervous gaze. As we were recrossing the gallery to Nick Greenbank’s desk, I heard Haig bellow, “Caitlin! Get in here!” At least the gentry weren’t allowed to behead serfs anymore.

Leetle Neek had his eyes glued on us from the moment we emerged from the inner sanctum, but when we got back to his desk I can’t say he greeted us like long-lost friends.

“I was right, wasn’t I?” he asked, smug even before the answer. “He thinks they’re fake?”

“He says he never heard uff dem. But he says he’s goink to look.”

“But you didn’t say anything about me?”

I just shrugged, but Bill said benevolently, “No, boychik. Vat you tell me, eet’s our leetle secret. Dah?”