“No!” said Roderick. “We need the necklace for the ladies-only hot tub party.” He looked at Randall. “Let me have it, and I promise we'll let you out afterward.”
“Sure thing,” said Randall. “Not!”
“Ah, the ol’ unexpected last word reversal trick, huh? Listen, buddy, your only hope is to trust us.”
“I trust you about as far as I can shot-put a proboscid.”
“What's a proboscid?”
“Any member of the mammalian order of large herbivores possessing a long and flexible trunk, incisors modified as tusks, and huge molars, some examples being the elephant and the now-extinct mastodon and woolly mammoth, all of which are unsuitable for shot-putting.”
Rick hurried back over to the group. “No keys!” he announced. “But I did catch a bug that looked just like the one we were keeping in the jar.”
“Good,” said Roderick. “Where is it?”
“I let it go. We already had one.”
Jack opened his eyes and sat up. “What's going on?”
“We have to get out of here!” said Maverick. “If we get caught, we'll be executed along with Randall.”
Roderick stared at the necklace for a few seconds, then nodded. “All right, let's go. You're on my list, Randall.” He slammed his fist against the cell door in frustration. It slid open.
“It was never locked!” said Frederick, for the benefit of those who had trouble with eye-brain communication.
“The guards here are big on trust,” Jack told him.
Roderick fumbled around in his robes for a moment, then took out a dagger. “Give me the necklace,” he said.
A voice sounded from the stairway: “I think the disturbance is coming from the dungeon area! But I guess we should do a thorough check of these stairs first, just to be safe.”
“There isn't time to waste!” said Roderick. “Give me the necklace! Now!”
“You want the necklace? Come in here and fight me for it,” said Randall.
“Know what?” asked Maverick.
“No, what?”
“You're coming with us.” Maverick, Frederick, and Rick also took out their knives as the four Ricks burst into the cell. Roderick and Maverick grabbed Randall by the shoulders, while Frederick and Rick took hold of Jack. Roderick grabbed the necklace and put it around his own neck. “C'mon!”
The voice from upstairs sounded again. “Well, I don't see anything on the stairs, but there's no harm in double-checking.”
The group rushed forward, past the cells filled with soundly-sleeping prisoners. When they reached the end of the hall, they froze at the sight of the two guards on the staircase.
“Don't move!” shouted the first guard.
“Don't you move, either!” shouted Roderick.
“I'm allowed to move. I'm a guard.”
Roderick pressed the tip of his dagger against the side of Randall's neck. “Let us pass or he dies!”
“He's already set to die,” explained the guard. “That's why I was coming downstairs, to bring him to the guillotine.”
Frederick pressed the tip of his own dagger against the side of Jack's neck. “All right, then let us pass or this prisoner dies!”
“I think he means it!” said the second guard.
Without warning, the first guard threw the spear he'd been carrying. It struck Frederick in the chest, causing him to drop his dagger and stumble backward, gasping.
“Wow!” exclaimed the first guard. “First try!”
“Frederick!” shouted Roderick.
“Frederick!” shouted Maverick.
“Maverick!” shouted Rick.
“What?” asked Maverick.
“Look what happened to Frederick!”
Randall and Jack forgotten, the three Ricks hurried over to their comrade, who was still stumbling backward and gasping. His feet slipped, and he fell on his back, hands clenched around the spear.
“I'm a goner,” he said, weakly. “I can feel the life draining from my body...”
“That's not your life,” said Maverick, “that's blood.” He considered that for a moment. “Oh, I see your point.”
“Didja see that?” the first guard asked his partner. “First try! You saw it, right? Did you see the way I threw that thing? Got him smack dab in the chest! Go, team, go!”
Randall and Jack just stood there, unsure what they should be doing.
“I know my time is drawing to a close,” said Frederick. “At least I can go out knowing that I died for the Cause.”
“Well, not really,” Maverick corrected. “We were just down here to get back the necklace.” Roderick elbowed him in the ribs.
“Goodbye, my friends!” Frederick said. “Oh, how I wish I would be there to see you all in your old age ... to watch you get married, have children, share good times and bad...”
“Could you maybe speed it up a bit?” Maverick asked. “Your last words are very important to us, but we kind of have a situation here.”
Frederick coughed. “I've still got a good three minutes left in me,” he said.
“We can't wait three minutes!” Roderick insisted.
“A lifetime of friendship, and you won't stay with me three more minutes?” Maverick asked.
“Okay, okay. Fine. Talk.”
The second guard nudged the first. “If you'd really hit him as well as you're bragging, he wouldn't have three minutes left.”
“Yeah? Well, let's see you try and hit one of them.”
The second guard flung his own spear at the Ricks. It missed Roderick, Maverick, and Rick, and struck Frederick in the chest two inches from the other spear.
“There go my three minutes,” winced Frederick, just before he died.
“You're pathetic,” the first guard told his partner.
“I know,” the second guard admitted with a sniffle.
The three Ricks turned around to face the guards. “We will have our revenge,” said Roderick. “Someday soon. Just keep looking over your shoulder.”
The guards looked over their shoulders nervously.
Roderick clapped his hands loudly, awakening the other prisoners. “Everyone upstairs! It's time for co-ed naked backgammon!”
The prisoners burst out of their cells and surged forward, overwhelming the guards. Randall and Jack tried to escape, but the Ricks grabbed them by the shoulders again and forced them to move with the crowd. Right before they reached the stairs, they veered to the right, pushing through a hidden revolving door that led to another tunnel.
“Frederick's passing was not in vain!” Roderick announced. “Tonight, King Irving dies!”
Chapter 16
Pre-Chapter-Seventeen Excitement
“YOU CAN'T be serious!” Randall said. “An attempt on the king's life now is suicidal! We'll be captured for sure!”
“I know what you're going to say,” said Roderick. “You're going to tell me that an attempt on the king's life now is suicidal, and that we'll be captured for sure.”
“That's what I
“Oh. Sorry, I was a little distracted. No, this is the perfect moment to strike! The guards will be so concerned with the escaping prisoners that they won't be watching the king's chambers as closely! And we've got
