I must retire to my room for a moment. Gwendolen, wait here for me.
GWENDOLEN
If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.
[Exit JACK in great excitement. ]
CHASUBLE
What do you think this means, Lady Bracknell?
LADY BRACKNELL
I dare not even suspect, Dr. Chasuble. I need hardly tell
you that in families of high position strange coincidences are not supposed
to occur. They are hardly considered the thing. [Noises heard overhead as if someone was throwing trunks about. Everyone looks up.]
CECILY
Uncle Jack seems strangely agitated. CHASUBLE Your guardian has a very emotional nature. LADY BRACKNELL
This noise is extremely unpleasant. It sounds as if he was
having an argument. I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar,
and often convincing. CHASUBLE [Looking up.] It has stopped now. [The noise is redoubled.] LADY BRACKNELL
I wish he would arrive at some conclusion.
GWENDOLEN
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
[Enter JACK with a handbag of black leather in his hand.] JACK [Rushing over to MISS PRISM.1 Is this the handbag, Miss Prism? Examine it carefully before you speak. The happiness of more than one life depends
on your answer. MISS PRISM [Calmly.] It seems to be mine. Yes, here is the injury it received through the upsetting of a Gower Street omnibus in younger and happier
days. Here is the stain on the lining caused by the explosion of a temperance
beverage, an incident that occurred at Leamington. And here, on the lock,
are my initials. I had forgotten that in an extravagant mood I had had them
placed there. The bag is undoubtedly mine. I am delighted to have it so
unexpectedly restored to me. It has been a great inconvenience being with
out it all these years. JACK [In a pathetic voice.] Miss Prism, more is restored to you than this
handbag. I was the baby you placed in it. MISS PRISM [Amazed.] You! JACK [Embracing her.] Yes . . . mother!
.
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST, ACT 1 / 17 11
MISS PRISM [Recoiling in indignant astonishment.] Mr. Worthing! I am unmarried!
JACK Unmarried! I do not deny that is a serious blow. But after all, who has
the right to cast a stone1 against one who has suffered? Cannot repentance
wipe out an act of folly? Why should there be one law for men, and another for women? Mother, I forgive you. [Tries to embrace her again.]
MISS PRISM [Still more indignant.] Mr. Worthing, there is some error. [Pointing to LADY BRACKNELL.] There is the lady who can tell you who you really are.
JACK [After a -pause.] Lady Bracknell, I hate to seem inquisitive, but would you kindly inform me who I am? LADY BRACKNELL I am afraid that the news I have to give you will not altogether please you. You are the son of my poor sister, Mrs. Moncrieff, and consequently Algernon's elder brother.
JACK
Algy's elder brother! Then I have a brother after all. I knew I had a brother! I always said I had a brother! Cecily?how could you have ever doubted that I had a brother? [Seizes hold of ALGERNON.] Dr. Chasuble, my unfortunate brother. Miss Prism, my unfortunate brother. Gwendolen, my unfortunate brother. Algy, you young scoundrel, you will have to treat me with more respect in the future. You have never behaved to me like a brother
in all your life.
ALGERNON
Well, not till today, old boy, I admit. I did my best, however, though I was out of practice. [Shakes hands.] GWENDOLEN [To JACK.] My own! But what own are you? What is your Christian name, now that you have become someone else?
JACK
