Of course I could, Cecily. You know I could.
CECILY
Yes, I felt it instinctively, but I couldn't wait all that time. I hate
waiting even five minutes for anybody. It always makes me rather cross. I
am not punctual myself, I know, but I do like punctuality in others, and
waiting, even to be married, is quite out of the question.
ALGERNON
Then what is to be done, Cecily?
CECILY
I don't know, Mr. Moncrieff.
LADY BRACKNELL
My dear Mr. Worthing, as Miss Cardew states positively
that she cannot wait till she is thirty-five?a remark which I am bound to
say seems to me to show a somewhat impatient nature?I would beg of you
to reconsider your decision.
JACK
But my dear Lady Bracknell, the matter is entirely in your own hands.
The moment you consent to my marriage with Gwendolen, I will most gladly
allow your nephew to form an alliance with my ward. LADY BRACKNELL [Rising and drawing herself up.] You must be quite aware that what you propose is out of the question.
JACK
Then a passionate celibacy is all that any of us can look forward to.
LADY BRACKNELL
This is not the destiny I propose for Gwendolen. Algernon, of course, can choose for himself. [Pidls out her watch.] Come, dear; [GWENDOLEN rises.] we have already missed five, if not six, trains. To miss any more
might expose us to comment on the platform. [Ewier DR.
CHASUBLE.]
CHASUBLE
Everything is quite ready for the christenings.
LADY BRACKNELL
The christenings, sir! Is not that somewhat premature! CHASUBLE [Looking rather puzzled, and pointing to JACK and ALGERNON.] Both these gentlemen have expressed a desire for immediate baptism.
LADY BRACKNELL
At their age? The idea is grotesque and irreligious! Alger
non, I forbid you to be baptized. I will not hear of such excesses. Lord
Bracknell would be highly displeased if he learned that that was the way in
which you wasted your time and money.
.
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST, ACT 1 / 17 11
CHASUBLE
Am I to understand then that there are to be no christenings at
all this afternoon?
JACK
I don't think that, as things are now, it would be of much practical value to either of us, Dr. Chasuble.
CHASUBLE
I am grieved to hear such sentiments from you, Mr. Worthing.
They savour of the heretical views of the Anabaptists,7 views that I have
completely refuted in four of my unpublished sermons. However, as your
present mood seems to be one peculiarly secular, I will return to the church
at once. Indeed, I have just been informed by the pew-opener8 that for the
last hour and a half Miss Prism has been waiting for me in the vestry.
