But we are going to be christened this afternoon. GWENDOLEN [To JACK.] For my sake you are prepared to do this terrible thing? JACK I am. CECILY [To ALGERNON.] To please me you are ready to face this fearful ordeal? ALGERNON I am!
GWENDOLEN
How absurd to talk of the equality of the sexes! Where questions
of self-sacrifice are concerned, men are infinitely beyond us. JACK We are. [Clasps hands with ALGERNON.] CECILY
They have moments of physical courage of which we women know
absolutely nothing. GWENDOLEN [To JACK.] Darling! ALGERNON [To CECILY.] Darling. [They fall into each other's arms.]
[Enter MERRIMAN. When he enters he coughs loudly, seeing the situation.]
MERRIMAN
Ahem! Ahem! Lady Bracknell!
JACK
Good heavens!
[Enter LADY BRACKNELL. The couples separate in alarm. Exit MERRI
MAN.]
LADY BRACKNELL
Gwendolen! What does this mean?
GWENDOLEN
Merely that I am engaged to be married to Mr. Worthing,
mamma.
LADY BRACKNELL
Come here. Sit down. Sit down immediately. Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of physical weakness in the old. [Turns to JACK.] Apprised, sir, of my daughter's sudden flight by her trusty maid, whose confidence I purchased by means of a small coin, I followed her at once by a luggage train.8 Her unhappy father is, I am glad to say, under the impression that she is attending a more than usually
7. Many 19th-century German scholars (e.g., texts. D. F. Strauss) were notorious among the British 8. Freight train. for being skeptical in their analyses of religious
.
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST, ACT 1 / 17 11
lengthy lecture by the University Extension Scheme on the Influence of a
Permanent Income on Thought. I do not propose to undeceive him. Indeed
I have never undeceived him on any question. I would consider it wrong.
But of course, you will clearly understand that all communication between
yourself and my daughter must cease immediately from this moment. On
this point, as indeed on all points, I am firm.
JACK
I am engaged to be married to Gwendolen, Lady Bracknell!
LADY BRACKNELL
YOU are nothing of the kind, sir. And now, as regards Alger
non! . . . Algernon!
ALGERNON
Yes, Aunt Augusta. LADY BRACKNELL May I ask if it is in this house that your invalid friend Mr. Bunbury resides? ALGERNON [Stammering.] Oh! No! Bunbury doesn't live here. Bunbury is somewhere else at present. In fact, Bunbury is dead.
LADY BRACKNELL
Dead! When did Mr. Bunbury die? His death must have
been extremely sudden. ALGERNON [Airily.] Oh! I killed Bunbury this afternoon. I mean poor Bunbury died this afternoon.
LADY BRACKNELL
What did he die of?
ALGERNON
Bunbury? Oh, he was quite exploded.
LADY BRACKNELL
