Exploded! Was he the victim of a revolutionary outrage? I
was not aware that Mr. Bunbury was interested in social legislation. If so,
he is well punished for his morbidity.
ALGERNON
My dear Aunt Augusta, I mean he was found out! The doctors
found out that Bunbury could not live, that is what I mean?so Bunbury
died.
LADY BRACKNELL
He seems to have had great confidence in the opinion of
his physicians. I am glad, however, that he made up his mind at the last to
some definite course of action, and acted under proper medical advice. And
now that we have finally got rid of this Mr. Bunbury, may I ask, Mr. Worth
ing, who is that young person whose hand my nephew Algernon is now
holding in what seems to me a peculiarly unnecessary manner?
JACK
That lady is Miss Cecily Cardew, my ward.
[LADY BRACKNELL bows coldly to CECILY.]
ALGERNON
I am engaged to be married to Cecily, Aunt Augusta.
LADY BRACKNELL
I beg your pardon?
CECILY
Mr. Moncrieff and I are engaged to be married, Lady Bracknell. LADY' BRACKNELL [With a shiver, crossing to the sofa and sitting down.] I do not know whether there is anything peculiarly exciting in the air of this
particular part of Hertfordshire, but the number of engagements that go on
seems to me considerably above the proper average that statistics have laid
down for our guidance. I think some preliminary inquiry on my part would
not be out of place. Mr. Worthing, is Miss Cardew at all connected with
any of the larger railway stations in London? I merely desire information.
Until yesterday I had no idea that there were any families or persons whose origin was a Terminus.9 [JACK looks perfectly furious, but restrains himself] JACK [In a clear, cold voice.] Miss Cardew is the granddaughter of the late Mr. Thomas Cardew of 149, Belgrave Square, S.W.; Gervase Park, Dorking,
Surrey; and the Sporran, Fifeshire, N.B.1
9. Station at the end of a railway line. 1. Presumably North Britain, i.e., Scotland.
.
1 1734 / OSCAR WILDE
LADY BRACKNELL
That sounds not unsatisfactory. Three addresses always
inspire confidence, even in tradesmen. But what proof have I of their
authenticity?
JACK I have carefully preserved the Court Guides2 of the period. They are open to your inspection, Lady Bracknell.
LADY BRACKNELL [Grimly.] I have known strange errors in that publication.
JACK Miss Cardew's family solicitors are Messrs. Markby, Markby, and Markby.
LADY BRACKNELL
Markby, Markby, and Markby? A firm of the very highest
position in their profession. Indeed I am told that one of the Mr. Markbys
is occasionally to be seen at dinner parties. So far I am satisfied. JACK [Very irritably.] How extremely kind of you, Lady Bracknell! I have also in my possession, you will be pleased to hear, certificates of Miss Cardew's
birth, baptism, whooping cough, registration, vaccination, confirmation,
and the measles; both the German and the English variety.
LADY BRACKNELL
