of it, to contribute to a longstanding Bulls, which went through three, revised editions English tradition of jokes about the dim-witted between 1802 and 1808, before being included, in Irish, but the Edgeworths' relationship to that traits 1808 version, in Maria Edgeworth's eighteen-dition turned out to be quite complicated.
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THE IRISH INCOGNITO / 229
his creditors, and he being, as he observed, free to begin life again, with the advantage of being once more a bachelor. He was such a good-natured, free- hearted fellow, that every body liked him, even his creditors. His wife's relations made up the sum of five hundred pounds for him, and his brother offered to take him into his firm as partner; but O'Mooney preferred, he said, going to try, or rather to make, his fortune in England, as he did not doubt but he should by marriage, being, as he did not scruple to acknowledge, a personable, clever-looking man, and a great favourite with the sex.2
'My last wife I married for love, my next I expect will do the same by me, and of course the money must come on her side this time,' said our hero, half jesting, half in earnest. His elder and wiser brother, the merchant, whom he still held in more than sufficient contempt, ventured to hint some slight objections to this scheme of Phelim's seeking fortune in England. He observed that so many had gone upon this plan already, that there was rather a prejudice in England against Irish adventurers.
This could not affect him any ways, Phelim replied, because he did not mean to appear in England as an Irishman at all.
'How then?'
'As an Englishman, since that is most agreeable.'
'How can that be?'
'Who should hinder it?'
His brother, hesitatingly, said 'Yourself.'
'Myself !-?What part of myself? Is it my tongue??You'll acknowledge, brother, that I do not speak with the brogue.'
It was true that Phelim did not speak with any Irish brogue: his mother was an English woman, and he had lived much with English officers in Cork, and he had studied and imitated their manner of speaking so successfully, that no one, merely by his accent, could have guessed that he was an Irishman.
'Hey! brother, I say!' continued Phelim, in a triumphant English tone; 'I never was taken for an Irishman in my life. Colonel Broadman told me the other day, I spoke English better than the English themselves; that he should take me for an Englishman, in any part of the known world, the moment I opened my lips. You must allow that not the smallest particle of brogue is discernible on my tongue.'
His brother allowed that not the smallest particle of brogue was to be discerned upon Phelim's tongue, but feared that some Irish idiom might be perceived in his conversation. And then the name of O'Mooney!
'Oh, as to that, I need not trouble an act of parliament, or even a king's letter, just to change my name for a season; at the worst, I can travel and appear incognito.'
'Always?'
'No: only just till I'm upon good terms with the lady?Mrs. Phelim O'Mooney, that is to be, God willing. Never fear, nor shake your head, brother; you men of business are out of this line, and not proper judges: I beg your pardon for saying so, but as you are my own brother, and nobody by, you'll excuse me.'
His brother did excuse him, but continued silent for some minutes; he was
pondering upon the means of persuading Phelim to give up this scheme.
'I would lay you any wager, my dear Phelim,' said he, 'that you could not
continue four days in England incognito.'
2. Women.
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23 0 / MARIA EDGEWORTH
'Done!' cried Phelim. 'Done for a hundred pounds; done for a thousand pounds, and welcome.'
'But if you lose, how will you pay?'
'Faith! that's the last thing I thought of, being sure of winning.'
'Then you will not object to any mode of payment I shall propose.'
'None: only remembering always, that I was bankrupt last week, and shall be little better till I'm married; but then I'll pay you honestly if I lose.'
'No,- if you lose I must be paid before that time, my good sir,' said his brother, laughing. 'My bet is this:?I will lay you one hundred guineas that you do not remain four days in England incognito; be upon honour with me, and promise, that if you lose, you will, instead of laying down a hundred guineas, come back immediately, and settle quietly again to business.'
The word business was always odious to our hero's proud ears; but he thought himself so secure of winning his wager, that he willingly bound himself in a penalty which he believed would never become due; and his generous brother, at parting, made the bet still more favourable, by allowing that Phelim should not be deemed the loser unless he was, in the course of the first four days after he touched English ground, detected eight times in being an Irishman.
'Eight times !' cried Phelim. 'Good bye to a hundred guineas, brother, you may say.'
'You may say,' echoed his brother, and so they parted.
Mr. Phelim O'Mooney the next morning sailed from Cork harbour with a prosperous gale, and with a
