and affability, especially as he heard him called Sir John: he bowed sundry times as low as the fear of losing his wig would permit, and accepted the polite offer with many thanks for himself and the lady concerned.
Sir John Bull's chaise and four was soon ready and Queasy seated in the corner of it, and the Sevre china safely stowed between his knees. Captain Murray, a Scotch officer, was standing at the inn door, with his eyes intently fixed on the letters that were worked in nails on the top of Sir John's trunk; the letters were P. O'M. Our hero, whose eyes were at least as quick as the Scotchman's, was alarmed lest this should lead to a second detection. He called instantly, with his usual presence of mind, to the ostler, and desired him to uncord that trunk, as it was not to go with him; raising his voice loud enough for all the yard to hear, he added?'It is not mine at all; it belongs to my friend, Mr. O'Mooney: let it be sent after me, at leisure, by the waggon, as directed, to the care of Sir John Bull.'
Our hero was now giving his invention a prodigious quantity of superfluous trouble; and upon this occasion, as upon most others, he was more in danger from excess than deficiency of ingenuity: he was like the man in the fairy tale, who was obliged to tie his legs lest he should outrun the object of which he was in pursuit. The Scotch officer, though his eyes were fixed on the letters
P. O'M., had none of the suspicions which Phelim was counteracting; he was only considering how he could ask for the third place in Sir John's chaise during the next stage, as he was in great haste to get to town upon particular business, and there were no other horses at the inn. When he heard that the heavy baggage was to go by the waggon, he took courage, and made his request. 6. Cousin to King Louis XVI and himself in line from the guillotine. The Duke's Sevre?expensive for the throne of France, Philippe, Duke of porcelain manufactured near Paris?and pendule, Orleans (1747?1793) assumed the surname Egal-a pendulum clock, appear to have come on the ite ('Equality') as testimony of his support for the market following his execution. Revolution. The name change did not save him 7. District of London.
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THE IRISH INCOGNITO / 23 3
It was instantly granted by the good-natured Hibernian, who showed as much hospitality about his chaise as if it had been his house. Away they drove as fast as they could. Fresh dangers awaited him at the next inn. He left his hat upon the table in the hall whilst he went into the parlour, and when he returned, he heard some person inquiring what Irish gentleman was there. Our hero was terribly alarmed, for he saw that his hat was in the inquirer's hand, and he recollected that the name of Phelim O'Mooney was written in it. This the inquisitive gentleman did not see, for it was written in no very legible characters on the leather withinside of the front; but 'F. Guest, hatter, Dame-street, Dublin,' was a printed advertisement that could not be mistaken, and that was pasted within the crown. O'Mooney's presence of mind did not forsake him upon this emergency.
'My good sir,' said he, turning to Queasy, who, without hearing one word of what was passing, was coming out of the parlour, with his own hat and gloves in his hand; 'My good sir,' continued he, loading him with parcels, 'will you have the goodness to see these put into my carriage? I'll take care of your hat and gloves,' added O'Mooney in a low voice. Queasy surrendered his hat and gloves instantly, unknowing wherefore; then squeezed forward with his load through the crowd, crying?'Waiter! hostler! pray, somebody put these into Sir John Bull's chaise.'
Sir John Bull, equipped with Queasy's hat, marched deliberately through the defile, bowing with the air of at least an English county member8 to this side and to that, as way was made for him to his carriage. No one suspected that the hat did not belong to him; no one, indeed, thought of the hat, for all eyes were fixed upon the man. Seated in the carriage, he threw money to the waiter, hostler, and boots, and drew up the glass, bidding the postilions drive on. By this cool self-possession our hero effected his retreat with successful generalship, leaving his new Dublin beaver behind him, without regret, as bona waviata.9 Queasy, before whose eyes things passed continually without his seeing them, thanked Sir John for the care he had taken of his hat, drew on his gloves, and calculated aloud how long they should be going to the next stage. At the first town they passed through, O'Mooney bought a new hat, and Queasy deplored the unaccountable mistake by which Sir John's hat had been forgotten. No further mistakes happened upon the journey. The travellers rattled on, and neither 'stinted nor stayed'1 till they arrived at Blackheath, at Miss Sharperson's. Sir John sat Queasy down without having given him the least hint of his designs upon the lady; but as he helped him out with the Sevre china, he looked through the large opening double doors of the hall, and slightly said?'Upon my word, this seems to be a handsome house: it would be worth looking at, if the family were not at home.'
'I am morally sure, Sir John,' said the soft Queasy, 'that Miss Sharperson would be happy to let you see the house to-night, and this minute, if she knew you were at the door, and who you were, and all your civility about me and the china.?Do, pray, walk in.'
'Not for the world: a gentleman could not do such a thing without an invitation from the lady of the house herself.'
8. One of the members of Parliament who repre-red-handed. It is applied here to the hero's sented the counties of England. 'beaver,' a type of hat made from beaver's fur. 9. Bona ivaviata is a Latin term applied in law to 1. I.e., by not stinting on money or food for the stolen goods that have been thrown away by their horses, they avoided any delay (stay). thief, who would rather lose them than be caught
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23 4 / MARIA EDGEWORTH
'Oh, if that's all, I'll step up myself to the young lady; I'm certain she'll be proud?'
'Mr. Queasy, by no means; I would not have the lady disturbed for the world at this unseasonable hour.?It is too late?quite too late.'
'Not at all, begging pardon, Sir John,' said Queasy, taking out his watch: 'only just tea-time by me.?Not at all unseasonable for any body; besides, the message is of my own head:?all, you know, if not well taken?'
Up the great staircase he made bold to go on his mission, as he thought, in defiance of Sir John's better judgment. He returned in a few minutes with a face of self-complacent exultation, and Miss Sharperson's compliments, and begs Sir John Bull will walk up and rest himself with a dish of tea, and has her thanks to him for the china.
Now Queasy, who had the highest possible opinion of Sir John Bull and of Miss Sharperson, whom he thought the two people of the greatest consequence and affability, had formed the notion that they were made for each other, and that it must be a match if they could but meet. The meeting he had now happily contrived and effected; and he had done his part for his friend Sir John, with Miss Sharperson, by as many exaggerations as he could utter in five minutes, concerning his perdigious politeness and courage, his fine person and carriage, his ancient family, and vast connections and importance wherever he appeared on the road, at inns, and over all England. He had previously, during the journey, done his part for his friend Miss Sharperson with Sir John, by stating that 'she had a large fortune left her by her mother, and was to have twice as much from her grandmother; that she had thousands upon thousands in the funds, and an estate of two thousand a year, called Rascally, in Scotland, besides plate and
