fan. Here, what about coming to see the Spurs tomorrow? BEN [Tonelessly.] They're playing away. GUS Wh o are? BEN The Spurs. GUS Then they might be playing here. BEN Don't be silly. GUS If they're playing away they might be playing here. They might be playing
the Villa.'
BEN [Tonelessly.] But the Villa are playing away.
[Pause. An envelope slides under the door, right, GUS sees it. He stands,
looking at it.]
Gus Ben.
BEN Away. They're all playing away.
GUS Ben, look here.
BEN What?
GUS Look.
[BEN turns his head and sees the envelope. He stands.]
BEN What's that?
Gus I don't know.
BEN Where did it come from?
GUS Under the door.
BEN Well, what is it?
GUS I don't know.
[They stare at it.]
BEN Pick it up.
Gus What do you mean?
BEN Pick it up!
[GUS slowly moves towards it, hends and picks it up.]
What is it? GUS An envelope. BEN Is there anything on it? GUS No.
6. A soccer team; Tottenham is in north London.
.
260 8 / HAROLD PINTER
BEN IS it sealed? GUS Yes. BEN Open it. GUS What? BEN Open it! [GUS opens it and looks inside.]
What's in it?
[GUS empties twelve matches into his hand.] GUS Matches. BEN Matches? GUS Yes. BEN Show it to me.
[GUS passes the envelope, BEN examines it.]
Nothing on it. Not a word. GUS That's funny, isn't it? BEN It came under the door? GUS Must have done. BEN Well, go on. GUS Go on where? BEN Ope n the door and see if you catch anyone outside. GUS Who, me? BEN GO on!
[GUS stares at him, puts the matches in his pocket, goes to his bed and brings a revolver from under the pillow. He goes to the door, opens it, looks out and shuts it.]
GUS N o one.
[He replaces the revolver. ] BEN What did you see? GUS Nothing. BEN They must have been pretty quick.
[GUS takes the matches from pocket and looks at them.] GUS Well, they'll come in handy. BEN Yes. GUS Won't they? BEN Yes, you're always running out, aren't you? GUS All the time. BEN Well, they'll come in handy then. GUS Yes. BEN Won't they? GUS Yes, I could do with them. I could do with them too. BEN YOU could, eh? GUS Yes. BEN Why? GUS We haven't any. BEN Well, you've got some now, haven't you? GUS I can light the kettle now. BEN Yes, you're always cadging matches. How many have you got there? GUS About a dozen. BEN Well, don't lose them. Red too. You don't even need a box.
[GUS probes his ear with a match.] [Slapping his hand.] Don't waste them! G o on, go and light it.
.
THE DUMB WAITER / 2609
GUS Eh? BEN Go and light it. GUS Light what? BEN Th e kettle. GUS You mean the gas.
BEN Wh o does? GUS You do. BEN [His eyes narrowing.] What do you mean, I mean the gas? GUS Well, that's what you mean, don't you? Th e gas. BEN [Powerfully.] If 1 say go and light the kettle I mean go and light the
kettle. GUS Ho w can you light a kettle? BEN It's a figure of speech! Light the kettle. It's a figure of speech! GUS I've never heard it. BEN Light the kettle! It's commo n usage! GUS I think you've got it wrong. BEN [Menacing.] What do you mean? GUS They say put on the kettle. BEN [Taut.] Wh o says?
