admiration in which I hold Mrs Chater.
6. Believer in the scientific theories of Isaac New-the U.S., private) school, Eton, which Thomasina's ton (1642-1727). brother Augustus will later attend. 7. Alumnus of the famous English public (i.e., in
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CHATER I have heard of your admiration, sir! You insulted my wife in the gazebo yesterday evening!
SEPTIMUS You are mistaken. I made love to your wife in the gazebo. She asked me to meet her there, I have her note somewhere, I dare say I could find it for you, and if someone is putting it about that I did not turn up, by God, sir, it is a slander.
CHATER You damned lecher! You would drag down a lady's reputation to
make a refuge for your cowardice. It will not do! I am calling you out!8 SEPTIMUS Chater! Chater, Chater, Chater! My dear friend! CHATER YOU dare to call me that. I demand satisfaction! SEPTIMUS Mrs Chater demanded satisfaction and now you are demanding
satisfaction. I cannot spend my time day and night satisfying the demands of the Chater family. As for your wife's reputation, it stands where it ever stood.
CHATER You blackguard!
SEPTIMUS I assure you. Mrs Chater is charming and spirited, with a pleasing voice and a dainty step, she is the epitome of all the qualities society applauds in her sex?and yet her chief renown is for a readiness that keeps her in a state of tropical humidity as would grow orchids in her drawers in January.
CHATER Damn you, Hodge, I will not listen to this! Will you fight or not?
SEPTIMUS [Definitively.] Not! There are no more than two or three poets of the first rank now living, and I will not shoot one of them dead over a perpendicular poke in a gazebo with a woman whose reputation could not be adequately defended with a platoon of musketry deployed by rota.
CHATER Ha! You say so! Who are the others? In your opinion??no? no?!?this goes very ill, Hodge. I will not be flattered out of my course. You say so, do you?
SEPTIMUS I do. And I would say the same to Milton9 were he not already
dead. Not the part about his wife, of course? CHATER But among the living? Mr Southey?1 SEPTIMUS Southey I would have shot on sight. CHATER [Shaking his head sadly.] Yes, he has fallen off. I admired 'Thalaba'
quite, but 'Madoc', [He chuckles.] oh dear me!?but we are straying from the business here?you took advantage of Mrs Chater, and if that were not bad enough, it appears every stableboy and scullery maid on the strength?
SEPTIMUS Damn me! Have you not listened to a word I said?
CHATER I have heard you, sir, and I will not deny I welcome your regard, God knows one is little appreciated if one stands outside the coterie of hacks and placemen2 who surround Jeffrey and the Edinburgh?3
SEPTIMUS My dear Chater, they judge a poet by the seating plan of Lord Holland's table!4
CHATER By heaven, you are right! And I would very much like to know the name of the scoundrel who slandered my verse drama 'Maid of Turkey' in the Piccadilly Recreation, too!
8. Challenging you to a duel. and editor of The Edinburgh Review (1802?29), 9. John Milton (1608-1674), English poet. was a stern but generally perceptive literary critic. 1. Robert Southey (1774-1843), English poet, 4. Henry Richard Vassall Fox, Lord Holland author of the long poems Tlialaba and Madoc. (1773?1840), British politician, exerted consider2. Clique of those who write only for money or able influence on literature and politics through social advantage. the hospitality that Flolland House offered the bril3. Frances Lord Jeffrey (1773?1850), cofounder liant and distinguished people of his day.
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SEPTIMUS 'The Maid of Turkey'! I have it by my bedside! When I cannot sleep I take up 'The Maid of Turkey' like an old friend!
CHATER [Gratified..] There you are! And the scoundrel wrote he would not give it to his dog for dinner were it covered in bread sauce and stuffed with chestnuts. When Mrs Chater read that, she wept, sir, and would not give herself to me for a fortnight?which recalls me to my purpose?
SEPTIMUS The new poem, however, will make your name perpetual? CHATER Whether it do or not? SEPTIMUS It is not a question, sir. No coterie can oppose the acclamation of
the reading public. 'The Couch of Eros' will take the town. CHATER Is that your estimation? SEPTIMUS It is my intent. CHATER Is it, is it? Well, well! I do not understand you. SEPTIMUS You see I have an early copy?sent to me for review. I say review,
but I speak of an extensive appreciation of your gifts and your rightful place
in English literature. CHATER Well, I must say. That is certainly . . . You have written it? SEPTIMUS [Crisply.] Not yet. CHATER Ah. And how long does . . . ? SEPTIMUS To be done right, it first requires a careful re-reading of your book,
of both your books, several readings, together with outlying works5 for an exhibition of deference or disdain as the case merits. I make notes, of course, I order my thoughts, and finally, when all is ready and I am calm in my mind . . .
CHATER [Shrewdly.] Did Mrs Chater know of this before she?before you? SEPTIMUS I think she very likely did. CHATER [Triumphantly.] There is nothing that woman would not do for me!
Now you have an insight to her character. Yes, by God, she is a wife to me,
