.
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST, ACT 1 / 17 11
ments, and I intend to develop in many directions. [ GWENDOLEN and JACK sit doivn together in the corner. ]
LADY BRACKNELL
I'm sorry if we are a little late, Algernon, but I was obliged
to call on dear Lady Harbury. I hadn't been there since her poor husband's
death. I never saw a woman so altered; she looks quite twenty years younger.
And now I'll have a cup of tea, and one of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me.
ALGERNON Certainly, Aunt Augusta. [Goes over to tea-table.]
LADY BRACKNELL
Won't you come and sit here, Gwendolen?
GWENDOLEN
Thanks, mamma,5 I'm quite comfortable where I am. ALGERNON [Picking wp empty plate in horror.] Good heavens! Lane! Why are there no cucumber sandwiches? I ordered them specially. LANE [Gravely.] There were no cucumbers in the market this morning, sir. I went down twice.
ALGERNON No cucumbers!
LANE
NO, sir. Not even for ready money.6
ALGERNON That will do, Lane, thank you.
LANE
Thank you, sir.
ALGERNON I am greatly distressed, Aunt Augusta, about there being no cucumbers, not even for ready money. LADY BRACKNELL
It really makes no matter, Algernon. I had some crumpets7
with Lady Harbury, who seems to me to be living entirely for pleasure now.
ALGERNON
I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief.
LADY BRACKNELL
It certainly has changed its colour. From what cause I, of course, cannot say. [ALGERNON crosses and hands tea.] Thank you. I've quite a treat for you tonight, Algernon. I am going to send you down with Mary
Farquhar. She is such a nice woman, and so attentive to her husband. It's
delightful to watch them.
ALGERNON
I am afraid, Aunt Augusta, I shall have to give up the pleasure of
dining with you tonight after all.
LADY BRACKNELL
[Frowning.] I hope not, Algernon. It would put my table completely out. Your uncle would have to dine upstairs.8 Fortunately he is
accustomed to that.
ALGERNON
It is a great bore, and, I need hardly say, a terrible disappointment
to me, but the fact is I have just had a telegram to say that my poor friend Bunbury is very ill again. [Exchanges glances with JACK.] They seem to think I should be with him.
LADY BRACKNELL
It is very strange. This Mr. Bunbury seems to suffer from curiously bad health.
ALGERNON
Yes; poor Bunbury is a dreadful invalid. LADY BRACKNELL Well, I must say, Algernon, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or to die. This
shilly-shallying with the question is absurd. Nor do I in any way approve of
the modern sympathy with invalids. I consider it morbid. Illness of any kind
is hardly a thing to be encouraged in others. Health is the primary duty of
life. I am always telling that to your poor uncle, but he never seems to take
