Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge

Lizzy was puzzled by her friend’s cool demeanour as they set off briskly with a footman trailing behind. Dust Bunny and Pug-Nacious sniffed the many interesting scents along the way. Due to the late afternoon hour, the ladies encountered few others on the paths of the small public garden not far from the Bennet townhouse.

“I am so glad to have this opportunity to speak with you, Georgiana.” It is very important you tell your gorgeous brother I am not betrothed. “I have something of great import to impart.”

“You need not bother, Elizabeth.” How could you accept that insufferable, carrot-topped, red- coated blowhard? “I am already well aware of your shocking news.”

Lizzy was taken aback and wondered how word had reached her friend. No matter … as long as Mr. Darcy knows the truth. “Oh. Well, good.”

Georgiana continued, “I must admit I was surprised at the result of Lieutenant-Colonel Dun’s proposal.” You and Fitzwilliam were perfect together. How could you accept another? “I wonder why you made such an ill-advised decision.”

Elizabeth gasped and felt her heart sink to the pit of her stomach. Do you think I should have accepted Dun’s offer? Does your brother not care for me as I do him? “You do not approve of my response to his proposal?”

“To be perfectly honest, my friend, no.” Simpleton. You would have been so much happier with my brother. “In fact, I believe you have made a colossal mistake regarding your future happiness.”

“Georgiana, was I wrong to presume that your bro … ”

Her friend interrupted, “Oh, how could you disappoint him in such a cruel way, Elizabeth?” Fitzwilliam loved you … loves you. He is inconsolable. “The poor man is absolutely desolate and heart-achingly heartbroken.”

“How could you possibly know his feelings?” You met Lieutenant-Colonel Dun at our dinner and glared at him throughout the meal. How and why are you suddenly privy to his sentiments?

“He told me himself; and if I recall correctly, his exact words were, ‘I know I shall never experience happiness without her in my life.’” That’s how I know his feelings, you selfish, heartless girl.

“Under what circumstances were you in his presence? Why would he even express sentiments to you he never even mentioned to me?” This is insane. Why was John spilling his soul to you? “When and where did you encounter the man?”

“I left him just now to come here to see you, Elizabeth.” My brother could hardly express his love to you when Dun beat him to it. Why is it so difficult for you to understand his hurt and his need to confide in me? “He apparently spent the afternoon drinking to drown his sorrow over losing you and was sleeping in the library when I happened upon him.”

“He was sleeping in the library?” Has the world gone mad? I cannot make sense of any of this. “Which library?”

“The one at our house, of course.” You are such a bacon-brained goose, Elizabeth Bennet.

“What on earth was he doing at your home?” Argh! Why was John Dun at your house, of all places in England?

“I just told you.” Perhaps this is all for the best. You are certainly addlepated, so my brother is better off without you. “He was sleeping after having consumed too many alcoholic beverages.”

Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief. If Lieutenant-Colonel Dun is intoxicated and sleeping it off at Mr. Darcy’s house, then I am surely Queen Elizabeth. “In your home?”

“No, I believe he said he was drinking at his club. Be that as it may, the where is unimportant, Elizabeth. What is important is that … ”

“Excuse me. I beg to differ, Georgiana. I cannot begin to comprehend why, of all places in the entire world, Lieutenant-Colonel John Dun is, or was, sleeping in your library.”

“He was not! I am speaking of my brother. Fiend seize it, Elizabeth, why would your foul fiancé be at my home?”

“That is what I have been asking you! Wait, wait, wait … your brother? My … fiancé?”

“If you had a speck of sense at all, my brother would be your fiancé!”

The two ladies stood, arms akimbo, in the middle of the path, glared at one another, and tried to unravel their tangled conversation. Elizabeth sorted through the strands, finally realized the misunderstanding, and arched an eyebrow at her friend. “Georgiana, let me be rightly understood. I do not presently have, nor have I ever had, a fiancé. Lieutenant-Colonel Dun did make me an offer; however, I declined and … ”

“You declined? You declined!” Miss Darcy clapped her hands and then gave her friend a hearty hug. “Oh, Elizabeth! Of course, you declined; and it is wonderful news, indeed. I beg your pardon, but I must return home on business that cannot be delayed. I have not an instant to lose. There is a rather dejected, heartbroken young man there who desperately needs cheering; and I now have exactly the information with which to do the job. Thank you.”

“Georgiana, please wait. I would just like to clarify one point. This dejected, broken-hearted young man you mentioned … You are, actually, speaking of your brother, are you not … the one I hold in the highest regard?”

“Of course I am, you silly goose. I speak of none other than Fitzwilliam Darcy, my beloved brother who will, no doubt, some day make you my cherished, bacon-brained sister.”

Elizabeth blushed but rolled her eyes and said, “Oh, Lud! Just what I need … another bossy, interfering, older sister!”

The Bingley siblings were not having much success in their eating of humble pie. The Lady Matlock had received them coolly, listened to Miss Bingley’s stuttered apology, and informed them she would have to curtail their visit, as she was going out.

At the Bennet household, they were only able to meet with Miss Bennet, as her sister was on an outing with Miss Darcy. Jane grudgingly accepted Caroline’s expressions of regret but succinctly explained that since Elizabeth had been the intended victim of the cut, Miss Bingley would have to seek her sister’s absolution at another time. When they were back in their carriage, Caroline reminded her brother he was supposed to do most of the talking and gently chided him for, instead, spending his time staring in tongue-tied adoration at Miss Bennet.

At Darcy House, the Bingleys did manage to make two apologies at once; Lady Anne and her youngest daughter were kind and merciful. Caroline was dismayed she would have to return again to gain Miss Darcy’s forgiveness. When Charles asked to see his friend, he was told Darcy was indisposed. As the Bingleys left the townhouse, Charles said, “I hope Darcy is actually indisposed and is not avoiding me.” He quickly added, “Not that I hope Darcy is indisposed, I just meant … ”

“Charles, I know what you meant; and I am sure Darcy is not avoiding you. Speaking of avoiding, I truly wish to be away from London for a while. I have already written to our aunt and uncle; and with their permission, I will travel north and spend the winter months there. I promise to call on Miss Elizabeth and Miss Darcy before I depart, but please allow me to leave this place soon. I need some time away to reflect and decide on my future … if I even have one.”

As the Bingley carriage drove away from the Darcy townhouse, Georgiana alit from hers and ran up the front steps. The footman waiting to receive Miss Darcy’s outerwear was left empty-handed until the young lady spun around and thrust two little dogs at him. She then bounded up the stairs in a most unladylike manner, pulled off her bonnet and spencer, handed them to a passing chambermaid, and asked, “Where is my brother?” Upon being informed he was in his room and was not to be disturbed until dinner, Georgiana muttered, “Oh, really? Well, we shall just see about that.”

The usually impeccable Fitzwilliam Darcy had fallen asleep on top of his bed, still clad in wrinkled shirt, breeches, and waistcoat; he would have been horrified had he known his state. The left side of his face rested on a ribbed cushion that was damp from the drool that seeped from his open mouth; and his lusty, forceful snores echoed in the hallway. A concurrent incessant pounding in his aching head and on his chamber door rudely awakened him, and the blasted banging finally ceased but was immediately replaced by Georgiana’s raised and