Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge

excited voice. “Fitzwilliam, open this door, right now! I urgently need to speak with you.”

A muffled mumble of “Go away!” was ignored by the impatient young lady.

“No, brother, I most certainly shall not. I have news of the utmost importance to reveal to you. Please, Fitzwilliam, I promise it is of the happiest nature; and you will be pleased, if you would just … open … this … confounded … door!” She fruitlessly pushed on the oaken panel with her shoulder, jangled the knob, and nearly fell to the floor when the portal suddenly burst open.

Fitzwilliam caught her but snapped, “Why are you constantly cutting up my peace today, Georgiana? What does a man have to do to be allowed a restorative nap this afternoon?”

Miss Darcy grinned hugely at her dishevelled sibling and said, “It would take more than just a nap to restore you to some semblance of order, brother; and such testy manners and slovenly appearance do little to tempt me to reveal what I have just learned.”

Red diagonal lines crossed the left side of Darcy’s face, his eyes were only half open, and hair was plastered to one side of his head but puffed up on the other. “Georgiana, was I rudely awakened merely for the purpose of being subjected to ridicule? I thought you said there was urgent news of a happy nature. The only words that would truly be joyous to me right now would be those telling me I may go back to sleep … or those informing me dunderhead, dung-beetle Dun has been found guilty of treason.”

“Brother, do you not get tired of sleeping? Seriously though, you should have compassion for the poor Lieutenant-Colonel and the misfortune he has suffered at Elizabeth’s hand.”

“His misfortune!” repeated Darcy contemptuously. “Yes, his misfortune is great indeed. Imagine having won Elizabeth’s hand and having to spend the rest of his life with such a wife! However shall he bear such tribulation and woe? Nonetheless, by all means, let him have my compassion as well as my woman.”

“Tsk, tsk. Well, perhaps now would be an opportune time to offer you my compassion for having to spend the rest of your life with such a woman as Elizabeth Bennet.”

Fitzwilliam snorted and scoffed, “There is no other woman such as Elizabeth Bennet.”

“Sometimes you are as thick as two short planks, brother. You do not deserve her.” She turned her back on him and said, “Apparently, neither did Dun, poor man.”

“Georgiana, my mind must still be somewhat befogged right now, because it sounds as if you are saying she is … unattached.” Darcy gently turned her around but could scarcely breathe as he awaited his sister’s response.

“I just spoke with Elizabeth … ” Darcy was suddenly fully awake and alert. He hung on every word his sister excitedly uttered. “ … and she is absolutely unattached, single, eligible, unengaged, in love with you, unencumbered, and as free as a bird.”

“Good God! Did you just say she is in love with me and unfettered? But is it certain, absolutely certain?” When his sister eagerly nodded, Darcy’s headache and heartache suddenly vanished and he felt ten feet tall instead of his usual six feet, one and a half inches. “I shall go to her at once! I must not lose her again. It must be settled between us immediately. Miss Elizabeth Bennet’s days of being unattached, single, eligible, and unengaged are numbered, Georgie.” He stumbled around in search of his cravat, coat, and shoes.

Georgiana quickly snatched the coat and shoes from the heap on the floor while her brother fumbled around under the bed. She hid the items away in his dressing room and returned to find him in the middle of the room looking around in bewilderment. “You forgot ‘unencumbered,’ Fitzwilliam. However, if you arrive at Elizabeth’s home in your current state, you will surely be an encumbrance. ‘Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread.’ So please give her some time; and by all means, do not go to her looking like that! I hope she never has to suffer such an unsightly sight after you two marry. Ugh! You are certainly no Bond Street Beau right now, brother, trust me.”

Georgiana wrinkled her nose and pretended to shudder. He grinned sheepishly before she continued, “It might be romantic to let her know your feelings tomorrow night at the ball, when we are all perfumed, polished, and perfectly pleasing; but that is all the advice you shall cajole from me. I do have my own courtship to enjoy, you know. I must go now and make myself beautiful before Mr. Fleming arrives.” She turned away and started toward her own chamber.

“Georgie? Wait.”

“Yes, brother?”

Fitzwilliam Darcy took two long strides that brought him to her side and he bent and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, and you do not have to make yourself beautiful. You are already truly, and naturally, beautiful in every way.”

“Oh, Jane, you are truly, and naturally, beautiful in every way; and I am sure Mr. Bingley would agree. Thank you for handling his sister’s visit so well. Still and all, you should not have had to endure that misery alone. I am very sorry I was not here with you. However, Miss Darcy and I had a rather … interesting conversation while you were entertaining. I will tell you more of it later. Suffice it to say I expect her brother will begin courting me now that a certain army officer is out of his way. I may only have one charming suitor at tomorrow night’s ball while you, dear Jane, shall surely have to contend with at least two very attractive and amiable young men vying for your attention. Do you hold any special regard for either?”

“Lizzy, I realize how much you are in love with Mr. Darcy and you seemed to know the moment you first saw him. I have not the luxury of coup de foudre, if there is such a thing as love at first sight. You are fortunate to know your heart’s desire so well, but it was not a bolt of lightning for me. I admit I am attracted to both Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Bingley; still, I am uncertain. In Derbyshire, Mr. Bingley almost irritated me with his fawning attentions while the Colonel seemed indifferent. Now the boot is quite on the other leg, as they say; and of late my feelings have been shifting about pretty much. If I could combine Mr. Bingley’s sweetness with Colonel Fitzwilliam’s magnetism, such a man would be quite irresistible.”

“Yes, one has all the appearance of goodness and the other has a very good appearance. Take your choice, Jane; nevertheless, you must be satisfied with only one. Perhaps the selection will come down to which of your gallant gentlemen is the better dancer, for they will both want to stand up with you tomorrow night and sweep you off your feet.”

“Lizzy, do be serious. Such an important decision cannot rely on such a contest. Oh, how is one to decide between two such remarkable men … two such remarkably handsome and very appealing men? Did you notice how well they looked that day at Pemberley … when we first met? My goodness, the Colonel is a fine specimen of dazzling masculine beauty, is he not?”

“I thought you were not looking then. You certainly scolded me twice for staring.”

“Well, I did sneak a few glances while you were ogling Mr. Darcy. I must say, Fitzwilliam’s clothing was clinging in a most provocative manner.”

“Well, that certainly settles it, Jane. Their names are just too similar. We must avoid confusion; therefore, you shall simply have to choose Mr. Bingley.”

“How have you arrived at that nonsensical reasoning?”

“I have no idea whether you were referring to Fitzwilliam Darcy’s or Richard Fitzwilliam’s provocatively clinging clothing.”

Fitzwilliam Darcy stepped from the tub and donned a silk robe that clung provocatively to his damp body. He was then shaved and dressed with the assistance of his faithful valet. By the time he left his chambers, he felt no lingering affects from the afternoon’s indulgences. He joined his father in the drawing room while they waited for the ladies and their guest, Ellis Fleming.

“Ah, Fitzwilliam, recovered, are you?”

“I beg your pardon, Father?”

“I heard you were sick as a cushion this afternoon … something to do with gross overindulgence and being ape-drunk and on the cut at Whites, I believe.”

“Yes, well, I am unsure how you came about that exaggerated piece of on-dit, but I assure you I did not make a cake of myself at the club. Fleming fortuitously arrived before I could actually accomplish that and accompanied me home.”

“He is a fine fellow, that Fleming; and I will have no hesitation when he asks for Georgiana’s hand.”