to me since he asked me what I’d done to Patrick—but I knew all about it because Mel talks very loudly and also because right after English today he asked Caro if she was going.
Actually, what he said was, “I really hope you can come tonight. I need to talk to you.” And he said all that in front of Beth. I was in the student resource center during lunch, so I missed the drama, but Caro’s eyes were red afterward so it was easy to guess what happened.
I was in the student resource center because I’ve given up on lunch in the cafeteria. It’s not worth the 257
daily race with mustache girl to get a crappy seat and eat crappy food. I can eat yogurt in the resource center instead. The whole thing was Giggles’s idea, actually.
She cornered me as I was skulking down the hall, late to physics class, and made me come to her offi ce. (Patrick had been standing outside the classroom door, looking like the world was going to come smash him in that way he does, and I’d ducked into the bathroom till after the bell rang. Fifteen days. It’s been fifteen days, and I still keep thinking about him.)
When Giggles realized I didn’t have enough tardies for detention, she said I needed to “give back to the school”
and told me I had to work in the resource center every day during lunch for a month.
I can’t wait to see the look on her face when I tell her I want to keep doing it. Maybe I’ll even say she’s inspired me. She’ll probably explode.
Anyway, Caro came up to me in the hall after physics and said, “Can you come over after school?”
while people—meaning Beth—were watching. That’s when I knew something huge was going on.
Caro didn’t want to go to the party. What Mel had said to her made Beth so furious that she’d stopped talking to Caro.
258
“Which explains why you actually spoke to me at school,” I said as we were sitting in her bedroom. I was lying on her bed and Caro was pacing around eating an ice cream bar. Her mom always buys the kind I like best now. I didn’t think I was over here that much, but I guess I am.
Caro looked at me and then tossed her wrapper in the trash. “Yeah, I guess it does. I sort of suck, don’t I? Why do you even talk to me?”
“Free ice cream. And besides, if I were you, I wouldn’t talk to me at all.”
“You would too.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “You’re the worst liar in the whole world.”
She flopped down on her bed and nudged me with one foot. “Fine. I’m too freaked out to argue with you. What am I going to do?”
“Go to the party and talk to Mel.”
“But Beth will—”
“What? Make you cry during lunch? Get you so upset you ask someone even the honors losers—sorry, but it’s true, you guys suck—avoid to come over after school in front of everyone?”
She sighed. “I know. But I can’t go.”
259
“Okay, don’t go.”
“But . . . I kind of want to go.”
“Duh.”
Then she surprised me. “So will you come with me?”
And that’s how I ended up at the party. I told Mom and Dad I was spending the night at Caro’s. I fi gured that and the fact that they hadn’t had to come pick me up after school was enough excitement for them. Mentioning a party would just be too much.
And besides, I didn’t think I’d actually go. I just . . . I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see myself at one without Julia. I figured I’d wait outside or something. Be alone.
That, I could see.
Caro and I went over her “plan” on the way there. She was going to go in and talk to Mel, then leave. I was supposed to stay with her the whole time.
“Seriously, you can’t leave my side,” she said.
“Seriously, you’ve already said that. But you don’t need me there.”
“I do too.”
“Fine,” I said, just to humor her. “But remember, you promised that even if Mel declares eternal love we won’t be there more than—”
260
“Ten minutes, tops. I know. We’ll go in, he’ll be with Beth, we’ll leave. I don’t even know why I’m doing this.”
“Yeah, you do,” I said, and tried not to think about the fact that I was going to a party and that the last one I went to was with Julia. It didn’t work, and by the time Caro and I walked inside Mel’s house, I was feeling really bad. Just walking through the door made me dizzy.