That opened my eyes. Figuratively and literally. 'You, your Majesty? But Kings don't take vacations.'
'That's the whole point.' Rodrick began pacing the floor nervously as he spoke.
'The pressures of being a King mount up like they do on any other job. The difference is that as a King you never get a break. No time to rest and collect your thoughts, or even just sleep late. From the coronation when the crown hits your head until it's removed by voluntary or forcible retirement, you are the King.'
'Gee, that's tough. Your Majesty. I wish there was something I could do to help.'
The King stopped pacing and beamed at me again.
'But you can! That's why I'm here!'
'Me? I can't approve a vacation for you! Even if it were in my power, and it isn't, the kingdom needs a king on the throne all the time. It can't spare you, even for one day!'
'Exactly! That's why I can't leave the throne unattended. If I wanted a vacation, I'd need a stand-in.'
An alarm bell went off in my mind.
Now, however much Aahz may have nagged me about being a slow student, I'm not stupid. Even before I met Aahz… heck, before I learned my letters … I knew how to add two and two to get four. In this case, one two was the king's need for a stand-in; the second two was his presence in my quarters, and the four was…
'Surely your Majesty can't mean me!'
'Of course I mean you,' Rodrick confirmed. 'The fact is, Lord Magician, I had this in mind when I hired you to your current position.' 'You did?'
I could feel the jaws of the trap closing. If this was indeed why the King had hired me, I would be ill-advised to refuse the assignment. Rodrick might decide my services were no longer needed, and the last thing I needed with Aahz gone was to get cut off from my source of income. I wasn't sure what the job market was like for excourt magicians, but I was sure I didn't want to find out first hand.
'As you said earlier, the powers of the Court Magician are at my disposal, and one of the powers you demonstrated when we first met was the ability to change your own shape, or the shape of others, at will.'
The disguise spell! It was one of the first spells Aahz had taught me and one of the ones most frequently used over our last several adventures. After all the times it's bailed me out of tight spots, who would have guessed it would be the spell to get me into trouble? Well, there was the time it had gotten me hung…
'But, your Majesty, I couldn't possibly substitute for you. I don't know how to be a King!'
'Nothing to it,' Rodrick smiled. 'The nice thing about being a King is that even when you're wrong, no one dares to point it out.'
'But…'
'And besides, it will only be for one day. What could possibly go wrong in one day?'
Chapter Three
'Once a knight, always a knight. But once a King is once too often!'
Now, I don't want you to think I'm a pushover. I drove a hard bargain with the King before giving in. I not only managed to get him to agree to a bonus, but to cough up a hefty percentage in advance before accepting the assignment. Not bad for a fledgling magician who was over a barrel.
Of course, once I accepted, I was no longer over a barrel. I was in over my head!
The more I thought about it, the worse the idea of standing in for the King seemed. The trouble was, I didn't have a choice … or did I? I thought about it some more and a glimmer of hope appeared.
There was a way out! The only question was, how far could I run in a day? While not particularly worldly (or off-worldly for that matter) I was pretty sure that double-crossing kings wasn't the healthiest of pastimes.
It was going to be a big decision, definitely the biggest I ever had to make on my own. The King (or to be exact, his stand-in) wasn't due to make an appearance until noon tomorrow, so I had a little time to mull things over. With that in mind, I decided to talk it out with my last friend left in the palace. 'What do you think, Gleep? Should I take it on the lam, or stick around and try to bluff it out for one day asking?'
The response was brief and to the point.
'Gleep!'
For those of you who've tuned in to this series late,
Gleep is my pet. He lives in the Royal Stables. He's also a twenty-foot long blue dragon … half grown. (I shudder to think what he'll be like when he's fully grown! Groan!) As to his witty conversation, you'll have to forgive him. He only has a one-word vocabulary, but he makes up for it by using that word a lot. Wordy or not, I turned to him in this moment of crisis because with Aahz gone, he was the only one in this dimension who would be even vaguely sympathetic to my problem. That in itself says a lot about the social life of a magician.
'Come on, Gleep, get serious. I'm in real trouble. If I try to stand in for the King, I might make a terrible mistake… like starting a war or hanging an innocent man. On the other hand, if I double-cross the King and disappear, you and I would spend the rest of our lives as hunted fugitives.'
The unicorn in the next stall snorted and stamped a foot angrily.
'Sorry, Buttercup. The three of us would be hunted fugitives.'
War unicorns aren't all that common, even in Royal Stables. That particular war unicorn was mine. I acquired him as a gift shortly after I acquired Gleep. As I said before, this life-style is more than a little zooish.
'In a kingdom with a bad king, a lot of people would get hurt.' I reasoned, 'and I'd be a terrible king. Heck, I'm not all that good a magician.'
'Gleep,' my pet argued sternly.
'Thanks for the vote of confidence, but it's true. I don't want to hurt anybody, but I'm not wild about being a hunted fugitive, either.'
Tired of verbalizing his affection, Gleep decided to demonstrate his feelings by licking my face. Now, aside from leaving a slimy residue, my dragon's kisses have one other side effect. His breath is a blast of stench exceeded only by the smell of Pervish cooking.
'G… Gleep, old boy,' I managed at last, 'I love you dearly, but if you do that twice a week, we may part company … permanently!'
'Gleep?'
That earned me a hurt expression, which I erased simply enough by scratching his head. It occurred to me that dragons had survived because each of them only became emotionally attached to one being in its lifetime. If their breath reached the entire population instead of a single individual, they would have been hunted into extinction long ago. No, it was better that only one person should suffer than …
Another part of my mind grabbed that thought and started turning it over.
'If I run, then I'll be the only one in trouble, but if I try to be king, the whole kingdom suffers! That's it! I have to leave. It's the only decent thing to do. Thanks, Gleep!'
'Gleep?'
My pet cocked his head in puzzlement.
'I'll explain later. All right. It's decided. You two stock up on food while I duck back to my room to get a few things. Then it's 'Goodbye, Possiltum!' '
I've had pause to wonder what would have happened if I'd followed my original plan: just headed for my room, gathered up my belongings, and left. The timing for the rest of the evening would have changed, and the rest of this story would have been totally different. As it was, I made a slight detour. Halfway to my room, Aahz's training cut in. That is, I started thinking about money.
Even as a hunted fugitive, money would come in handy… and the King's advance would only last so long. With a little extra cash, I could run a lot farther, hide a lot longer … or at the very least live a lot better. …
Buoyed by these thoughts, I went looking for J. R. Grimble.
