This was supposed to inspire them to settle their difference with a quick compromise. Instead they thanked me for my wisdom, shook hands, and left smiling, presumably to carve up their cat.
It occurred to me, not for the first time today, that many of the citizens of Possiltum don't have both oars in the water. What anyone could do with half a dead cat, or a whole dead cat for that matter, was beyond me.
Suddenly I was very tired. With an offhanded wave I beckoned the herald forward.
'How many more are waiting out there?' I asked.
'That was the last. We deliberately kept the case load light today so your Majesty could prepare for tomorrow.'
'Tomorrow?'
The question slipped out reflexively. Actually, I didn't really care what happened tomorrow. My assignment was done. I had survived the day, and tomorrow was Rodrick's problem.
'Yes, tomorrow … when your bride arrives.'
Suddenly I was no longer tired. Not a bit. I was wide awake and listening with every pore.
'My bride?' I asked cautiously.
'Surely your Majesty hasn't forgotten. She specifically scheduled her arrival so that she would have a week to prepare for your wedding.'
Case load be hanged. Now I knew why dear Rodrick wanted a vacation. I also knew, with cold certainty, that he wouldn't be back tonight to relieve me of my duties. Not tonight, and maybe not ever.
Chapter Five
'The only thing worse than a sorcerer is a sorcerer's apprentice.'
FOR once, I successfully suppressed the urge to panic. I had to! Without Aahz around to hold things together until I calmed down, I couldn't afford hysterics.
Instead, I thought. .. and thought.
I was in a jam, and no matter how I turned it over in my mind, it was going to take more than just me to get out of it.
I thought of Massha.
Then I thought about suicide.
Then I thought about Massha again.
With firm resolve and weak knees, I made my decision. The question was, how to locate Massha? The answer came on the heels of the question. Standing in for the king had been nothing but a pain so far. It was about time I started making it work for me for a change.
'Guard!'
A uniformed soldier materialized by the throne with impressive speed.
'Yes, your Majesty?'
'Pass the word for General Badaxe. I'd like to see him.'
'Umm… begging your Majesty's pardon. He's with a lady just now.'
'Good. I mean, bring them both.'
'But…'
'Now.'
'Yes, your Majesty!'
The guard was gone with the same speed with which he had appeared.
I tried not to grin. I had never gotten along particularly well with the military of Possiltum. Of course, the fact that my first exposure to them was when Aahz and I were hired to fight their war for them might have something to do with it. Anyway, the thought of some poor honor guard having to interrupt his general's tetea-tete was enough to make me smile, the first in several days.
Still, sending a guard to fetch the person I wanted to see was certainly better than chasing them down myself. Perhaps being a king did have its advantages.
Two hours later, I was still waiting. In that time, I had more than ample opportunity to reconsider the benefit of issuing kingly summons. Having sent for Badaxe, I was obligated to wait for him in the throne room until he appeared.
At one point I considered the horrible possibility that he had taken Massha riding and that it might be days before they were located. After a little additional thought, I discarded the idea. There wasn't a steed in the Kingdom, including Gleep, who could carry Massha more than a few steps before collapsing.
I was still contemplating the image of Massha, sitting indignant on the ground with horse's legs protruding grotesquely from beneath her rump, when the herald sprang into action.
'Now comes General Badaxe … and a friend.'
With that, the man stood aside. Actually, he took several sideways steps to stand aside.
I've already described Massha's bulk. Well, Hugh Badaxe wasn't far behind her. What he lacked in girth, he made up for in muscle. My initial impression of the General remained unchanged; that he had won his rank by taking on the rest of the army… and winning. Of course, he was wearing his formal bearskin, the clean one, which made him appear all the larger. While I had been there when they met, I had never actually seen Badaxe and Massha standing side by side before. The overall effect was awe-inspiring. Together, they might have been a pageant of a barbarian invasion gone decadent … if it weren't for the General's axe. His namesake, a huge, double-bitted hand axe, rode comfortably in its customary place on the General's right hip, and the glitter from it wasn't all decorative. Here, at least, was one barbarian who hadn't let decadence go to his sword arm.
'Your Majesty.'
Badaxe rumbled his salutation as he dropped to one knee with an ease that denied his size. One could almost imagine the skull of a fallen enemy crackling sharply beneath that descending knee. I forced the thought from my mind.
'Greetings, General. Won't you introduce me to your… companion?'
'I … certainly, your Majesty. May I present Massha, Court Magician of Ta-hoe, and friend of both myself and Lord Skeeve, Magician to your own court here at Possiltum.'
'Charmed, your Majesty.'
I realized with a start that Massha was about to attempt to imitate Badaxe by dropping to one knee. Even if she were able to execute such a maneuver, it would require sufficient effort as to invite ridicule from the other court retainers present… and somehow I didn't want that.
'Ah . .. there is no need for that,' I asserted hastily. 'It was not our intention to hold formal court here, but rather an informal social occasion.'
That caused a minor stir with the court, including the general who frowned in slight puzzlement. Still, I was already committed to a line of conversation, so I blundered on.
'In fact, that was the only reason for the summons. I wished to meet the lady dazzling enough to lure our general from his usual position by my side.'
'Your Majesty gave his permission for my absence today,' the general protested.
'Quite right. As I said, this is a social gathering only. In fact, there are too many people here for casual conversation. It is our wish that the court be adjourned for the day and the room cleared that I might speak freely with this visiting dignitary.'
Again there was a general ripple of surprise, but a royal order was a royal order, and the various retainers bowed or curtsied to the throne and began making their way out.
'You too. General. I would speak with Massha alone.'
Badaxe began to object, but Massha nudged him in the ribs with an elbow, a blow which would have been sufficient to flatten most men, but was barely enough to gain the general's attention. He frowned darkly, then gave
