'Well--we must all be born somewhere.'
'I wish I had never been born--there or anywhere else!'
'Pooh! Well, if you didn't wish to come to Trantridge why did you
come?'
She did not reply.
'You didn't come for love of me, that I'll swear.'
''Tis quite true. If I had gone for love o' you, if I had ever
sincerely loved you, if I loved you still, I should not so loathe and
hate myself for my weakness as I do now! ... My eyes were dazed by
you for a little, and that was all.'
He shrugged his shoulders. She resumed--
'I didn't understand your meaning till it was too late.'
'That's what every woman says.'
'How can you dare to use such words!' she cried, turning impetuously
upon him, her eyes flashing as the latent spirit (of which he was to
see more some day) awoke in her. 'My God! I could knock you out of
the gig! Did it never strike your mind that what every woman says
some women may feel?'
'Very well,' he said, laughing; 'I am sorry to wound you. I did
wrong--I admit it.' He dropped into some little bitterness as he
continued: 'Only you needn't be so everlastingly flinging it in my
face. I am ready to pay to the uttermost farthing. You know you
need not work in the fields or the dairies again. You know you may
clothe yourself with the best, instead of in the bald plain way you
have lately affected, as if you couldn't get a ribbon more than you
earn.'
Her lip lifted slightly, though there was little scorn, as a rule,
in her large and impulsive nature.
'I have said I will not take anything more from you, and I will
not--I cannot! I SHOULD be your creature to go on doing that, and
I won't!'
'One would think you were a princess from your manner, in addition
to a true and original d'Urberville--ha! ha! Well, Tess, dear, I
can say no more. I suppose I am a bad fellow--a damn bad fellow.
I was born bad, and I have lived bad, and I shall die bad in all
probability. But, upon my lost soul, I won't be bad towards you
again, Tess. And if certain circumstances should arise--you
understand--in which you are in the least need, the least difficulty,
send me one line, and you shall have by return whatever you require.
I may not be at Trantridge--I am going to London for a time--I can't
stand the old woman. But all letters will be forwarded.'
She said that she did not wish him to drive her further, and they
stopped just under the clump of trees. D'Urberville alighted, and
lifted her down bodily in his arms, afterwards placing her articles
on the ground beside her. She bowed to him slightly, her eye just
lingering in his; and then she turned to take the parcels for
departure.
Alec d'Urberville removed his cigar, bent towards her, and said--
'You are not going to turn away like that, dear! Come!'
'If you wish,' she answered indifferently. 'See how you've mastered
