Neverisms

frankly admitted:I must be wanting to be President. Every young man does. But I won’t let myself think of it; I must not, because if I do, I will begin to work for it; I’ll be careful, calculating, cautious in word and act, and so—I’ll beat myself.

Never, ever disrespect your opponent or your teammates

or your organization or your manager,

and never, ever your uniform.RYNE SANDBERG, Chicago Cubs infielder

and 2005 Hall of Fame inductee

Never, never, never give up!

Patience and perseverance are the crowning qualities

of self-confident champions.ROBERT H. SCHULLER, channeling Winston Churchill,

in Hours of Power (2004)

You’re bigger than you think. So fit your thinking to your true size.

Think as big as you really are! Never, never, never sell yourself short.DAVID J. SCHWARTZ,

in The Magic of Thinking Big (1987)

Never lie. Ever.NORMAN SCHWARZKOPF, a “rule for leaders,”

offered in a January 1992 issue of Inc. magazine.

Never, never waste a minute on regret.

It’s a waste of time.HARRY S TRUMAN

When you use a prepared text,

never, never, never speak those words without first making

them your friends through constant and persistent attention.JACK VALENTI, in his 1982 book Speak Up with Confidence:

How to Prepare, Learn, and Deliver Effective Speeches

Never compete. Never.DIANA VREELAND

The legendary fashion adviser finished off her advice by adding, “Watching the other guy is what kills all forms of energy.” Vreeland was the Harper’s Bazaar fashion editor in 1960 when she began to help future first lady Jacqueline Kennedy create the famous “Jackie Look” (a few years later, Mrs. Kennedy wrote in a letter to Vreeland: “You are and always will be my fashion mentor”). Her involvement with the fashionable first lady, along with her later role as editor-in-chief at Vogue magazine, helped make her one of the most influential voices in the history of style and fashion.

Never underestimate, never, ever, ever, underestimate what you

might be able to share in two minutes that can change lives forever.ROBIN WEBBER, in a 2003 sermon that used

Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address as an example

Never, oh never, indulge in telling wife jokes.

It is in exceptionally poor taste.ZIG ZIGLAR, in See You at the Top

(twenty-fifth anniversary edition, 2000)

Ziglar introduced the thought by writing: “Remember: Your wife wants a man she can look up to—but not one who looks down on her.”

eight

Never Persist in Trying to Set People Right

Human Relationships

On November 1, 1955, Dale Carnegie died at age sixty-six in Forest Hills, New York. At his death, he was regarded as one of history’s most successful authors and a pioneering figure in what is now called the “self-help” movement. Born as Dale Carnagey in 1888 on a family farm in Missouri, he was raised in humble circumstances, but began to entertain lofty dreams for himself after reading the Horatio Alger and other rags-to-riches stories that were popular at the time.

After high school, Dale attended a small state teachers’ college in Warrensburg, Missouri. When he failed to land a spot on any of the school’s athletic teams, he gave up dreams of becoming a professional athlete. And even though he was painfully shy, he began to think about a career in acting or public speaking.

He worked in several sales jobs after graduating from college in 1908, but felt unfulfilled. By 1911, he was off to New York to pursue his dreams. A brief time at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts got him a role with a touring theater group, but he quickly decided the actor’s life was not for him. Almost out of money, he headed back to Manhattan and got a room at the 125th Street YMCA.

In 1912, with no job prospects on the horizon, he convinced the YMCA manager to let him teach a class on public speaking. He had no experience, but what he lacked in knowledge, he made up for in enthusiasm. After a few false starts, his classes became extremely popular. Students signed up for the course expecting to learn public speaking skills, but they soon discovered the class was more about facing fears, taking risks, and overcoming obstacles (most of them self-imposed). Within a year, the new teacher felt confident enough to self-publish a book on public speaking. By 1916, he was so popular in his adopted city that he delivered a lecture to a packed house at Carnegie Hall, built in 1891 and named for the industrialist-turned-philanthropist Andrew Carnegie. More than one person noted the coincidence of a man named Carnagey lecturing at a hall named Carnegie. A few years later, after Dale formally changed the spelling of his name to Carnegie, many described it as one of his shrewdest marketing moves.

Over the next decade, Carnegie made a good deal of money and became a popular figure in New York City. One of his pals was Lowell Thomas, a journalist who had recently made a name for himself by chronicling the Arabian exploits of T. E. Lawrence. Thomas and Carnegie were not only friends, they also cohosted a Manhattan radio program for a few years. As the 1920s were coming to an end, the farm boy from Missouri was prospering. Then came the stock market crash of 1929; he lost almost all of his savings.

As Carnegie began to pull himself back up in the 1930s, the enormous economic collapse dramatically reduced the number of students who could afford to pay for his course. But, true to the principles he had been teaching for so many years, he persisted, and he continued to give all of his students his very best efforts. In 1934, Leon Shimkin, a young bookkeeper at Simon & Schuster, signed up for Carnegie’s fourteen-week class. He was so impressed after the first session that he asked for permission to let his stenographer sit in on the rest of the classes to take notes. The enthusiastic Mr. Shimkin ultimately shared his notes with a few colleagues on the editorial side of the publishing house—and in 1936 Simon & Schuster published Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Initial expectations were not high (the initial print run was only 5,000 copies) and early reviews were lukewarm. The New York Times said it revealed “a subtle cynicism,” despite containing some “sound, practical common sense” tips.

Within a year, however, the book was a bestseller and Carnegie achieved celebrity status. How to