“Would you go talk to a doctor? Would you just go see your doctor?”
Lord, when life seems to fall apart around me, speak to my heart and create in me a steadfast spirit to wait upon you.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)
August 5
I WAS ONE OF THEM
When Mark decided to talk to a doctor, he chose one with whom he had already developed a deep respect for: Dr. Dan Sutton, a SEAL team doctor, a regular physician. When there was a mass casualty in Afghanistan, the largest loss of SEAL life in history, Dr. Sutton and Mark were intimately involved when the bodies were brought back through Dover, and their remains returned to the families.
“Doc Sutton went to Dover and was with everybody that returned,” said Mark. “As a result he more fully understood what combat stress was all about he knew the symptoms of post-traumatic stress and its disorder.”
Mark was also watching people coming back, including the wounded, the remains, and those who had no visible injuries to their bodies. “I understood that there were post-traumatic symptoms going on within the field community and with the guys returning from combat,” said Mark. “There were just an incredible number of deaths that happened in Afghanistan. The smells of rotted flesh still clung to the equipment that came back.”
Mark knew that Dr. Sutton had been doing a lot of reading on PTSD and comparing notes with what he observed in the troops coming home. “I told him that I would like him to start informing us on what he was seeing, so that we could keep our commodore, the guy in charge of all the SEAL teams on the East Coast, informed. We had a great working relationship with each other,” said Mark.
Another instrumental player in Mark’s life at that time was the Group chaplain, Cory Cathcart, who had also been doing a lot of reading and research about the effect of combat stress.
“So through what I learned from the chaplain and the doctor, and by Marshele getting counseling, I realized that I was one of them,” said Mark. “I was one of the thousands of service members with PTSD.”
Great Physician, heal us of the pain of our yesterdays and our todays.
“Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long.” (Psalm 86:3)
August 6
YOU’RE NOT GOING CRAZY
“I was praying without ceasing,” said Mark. “I was afraid of breaking. I thought I was going crazy.”
When Mark vulnerably described to Dr. Sutton how he was doing emotionally with all the trauma that he had experienced, Dr. Sutton said it was ordinary human capacity trying to adapt to abnormal stress.
“Mark, post-traumatic stress and post-traumatic stress disorder are not mental illnesses,” Dr. Sutton told Mark in his office. “You’re not going crazy. All this stuff that’s going on right now is not your fault.”
Mark agreed with Dr. Sutton to go get counseling, but only as long as it was faith-based. “The only thing I was hanging onto was my belief in Jesus as a Christ-follower,” said Mark. “If I didn’t start off with faith-based counseling, then it would be a futile endeavor.”
As soon as he began his series of counseling, Mark noticed a positive change. “That’s because with Dr. Sutton I had an emotional breakdown, and then the confirmation that I wasn’t going crazy from someone who studies the mind, the psyche, and PTSD,” said Mark. “It was so reassuring to learn that all these circumstances of this trauma weren’t my fault. All these feelings that I was having were a normal response to extraordinary trauma.”
Mark was also told that PTSD is the only clinically diagnosed anxiety order that’s directly associated with a known cause. “These were landmark things for me because when I thought I going crazy, when I thought I was losing everything, and then I hear the diagnosis, I knew there was hope,” he said. “There was hope for recovery not only some recovery but complete recovery, to go back to feeling again, to loving again, to establishing relationships again.”
Lord, thank you for the hope we have because of your mighty power and grace.
“Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!” (Psalm 66:20)
August 7
NEXT STEPS IN THE JOURNEY
“The best news my counselor told me was that everything I was feeling was normal. She helped me understand my husband’s crisis,” said Marshele. “She helped me understand his mind, his heart, and the reactions he was having to his life experiences.”
Mark’s willingness to go to counseling was another huge step for the couple. “When he tried to be so strong for so long, it was good to see him be vulnerable and open with me,” said Marshele. “I know it was really hard for him.”
The journey toward complete healing isn’t over yet, Marshele said. “But there are greater signs of healing now. The monsters that raise their heads are getting smaller, and the victories are becoming bigger over time. I think that time is such a huge part of this prescription. We just have to wait. We have to keep doing the right things, keep loving one another, and keep believing that faith, hope, and love will endure and they will undergo anything if given the chance.”
The Waddells are more able to talk openly in the moment of rising tension, or within a couple of hours of the incident. Reconciliation is taking place much more quickly than before.
In 2007, Mark and Marshele began sharing their story with other churches through Bridges to Healing, the PTSD ministry branch of Campus Crusade for Christ’s Military Ministry. Marshele also speaks directly to women who share their experiences in her book, When War Comes Home: Christ-centered Healing for Wives of Combat Veterans, co-authored with Reverends Chris and Rahnella Adsit.
“When families go through these combat deployments and especially when dealing with PTSD on a moderate to severe level, everyone close to the situation goes through a faith crisis: Where was God when all this happened, where is he now? Why do I feel like I knock and the locks are bolted?” said Marshele.
“In those times, as long as you don’t give up, you will grow. God hears all of it, and eventually he responds, he stirs, and you will know he’s present in it. It just seems like forever in those long dry spells.”
