Jan

up. I looked at her, and smiled, saying 'I take it there's something on your mind that you want to do?'

She grinned, nervously, and said 'Yeah, there is. Very much.'

'And what is that?', I teased.

'I want to make love with you.' she answered, confidently.

I patted my lap, indicating I wanted her to sit on it. She moved to do so, and after only the slightest hesitation, put her knees on each side of my hips before planting her butt on my lap.

I reached out to put my arms around her hips, but she was far enough away that I couldn't quite hold my hands together. Realizing the problem, she scooted herself forward a bit, until I could hold her, my fingers interlaced at her back.

She put her hands on my chest, and looked into my eyes as I told her 'We can do this, or not – it's up to you. If you want us to, we can do it now, tomorrow, next month, or next year – there's no hurry. You can stop it, at any time, by just telling me 'no'. If you do, I'll stop doing whatever I'm doing, right then – with no hesitation, no muss, no fuss.

You told me that you don't want me inside you, and that's fine: how far we go, how much or how little we do together, is your choice, not mine.

What we do, if anything, and how we do it is for you to decide. For that, I'll be needing your help. If I start to do something you're not comfortable with, let me know. If I start to do something that you don't like, let me know. I am not knowingly going to do anything that might hurt you – but if I do, tell me, so I can stop. Okay?'

She nodded solemnly, and said 'I know you won't do anything to hurt me, or try to push me to do something I don't want – that's part of what makes me want to do this. And I really do want to do it.'

I smiled in answer, and went on 'By the same token, if I do something you DO like, it will help if you can let me know that, too. I'll probably figure it out, anyway, sooner or later; but if you let me know sooner, it's better for both of us, right? If there's something you want me to do, don't be afraid to tell me. I seriously doubt that you could come up with anything I haven't at least heard about before' – she grinned at that -'and if that's what you want, then I'll do my best. You don't have to worry about anything that happens between us, or with you – you know that Kelly lives with me, and that we make love, so there's not going to be anything happen with your body that I don't know about – unless, of course, you're from Mars, or something.'

The last bit got me another grin, and she said 'No, I'm not from Mars.

And I know that I don't have to be ashamed or embarrassed about getting wet, or making noise or anything like that. One thing that all of them agreed on – well, one of several things! – is that you're always a gentleman about stuff like that. But it wouldn't matter, anyway, because I want to KNOW you, and learn about this stuff, and if things get messy or noisy, then that's just too bad, cause that's part of it, too – at least, for me.'

We sat there, looking into each other's eyes as we established a bond with each other, and got on the same 'wavelength'.

After a bit, she leaned forward, and kissed me on the lips – barely touching me. She watched me a few moments; when I simply looked at her, and didn't move, did it again, more firmly and longer, before sitting up again.

I still didn't say or do anything, content to let her move at her own pace. She looked into my eyes again, and saw that I was looking at her with affection and patience. Satisfied, she took her hands off my chest and reached down to take hold of my arms. She easily moved them from around her hips, then took hold of my hands and put them on her waist.

She kissed me again, and whispered 'Hold me?'.

'I'd be delighted', I answered, and she lay against my chest, her head on my shoulder and her arms around my neck. I slowly slid my hands from her hips onto her back, taking her in my arms and briefly hugged her, to let her know I enjoyed having her there, but nothing more.

We sat like that for a couple of minutes when I softly kissed her shoulder. Perhaps a minute later, she pulled a little distance away, so she could look into my face when she said 'You'd let me stay her like this for as long as I wanted, wouldn't you?'

'Yup.'

'And that kiss was just to let me know you cared, wasn't it?'

'Yup.'

'You are really something, you know it?'

'How's that?'

'I know that I'm pretty, and that guys want me – I mean, I've seen how they look at me. But here I am, stark naked on your lap, and all you're doing is holding me. And the most aggressive thing you've done has been to give me one – ONE! – small kiss; and that was on my shoulder. I don't know of anyone else that would actually treat me the way you do, when we're together this way.'

'Yeah, and…?'

'And I guess I'm talking to a wall, or something. You don't see anything wrong about this?', she asked.

'Wrong? No. Different? Sure. You talk like the situation we're in right now even could happen if I was like someone else – but if you'll think about it, you'll realize that if I was anything like other people, you*wouldn't* be sitting naked on my lap.'

She blinked a few times, and said 'Of course. This situation is so different because you're so different. If you were like other guys, I wouldn't be like this; but I am sitting here naked, so you're not like them. And thinking about you as if you were like them – which I'm still doing – is only going to mean I make mistakes, like I am.'

A few seconds went by, and she suddenly said 'Oh.' and a second later 'Oh!', and then 'Oh!'

She suddenly stared at me intently; I just sat there, and smiled at her as she examined my face. 'It was simple.', she said.

'What was?'

'What you said that made me understand – about you and Kelly and Jan and Robyn and Sandra, and even Susan. You're you – and I can't treat you like anyone else, for that reason. And I'm me, and you treat me special because I am special – because I'm not like anybody else. You treat me the same as them, because you don't see any difference in us, whether we've made love with you, or not – all that matters to you is that we all love you, to some degree; and you love us back for it. And I realize that you gave so much of yourself to us, without us knowing how much that was – and that you did it because you cared about us, not because you thought any of us would have sex with you, or anything.'

She paused a moment, and said 'Now I understand why it hit Sandra so hard! I realize how much you've given me before I even knew it, and I took without even thinking about it, properly. What kind of person you must be inside, to have been able to do that with all of us! And without knowing if any of it would ever come back to you!'

She quickly wrapped her arms around my neck, and began crying into my shoulder; all I could do was to hold her again, and stroke her back softly as she got it out of her system.

Finally, she did, and released me to sit up again. Sniffling, and her face wet from her tears, she still looked lovely to me. I handed her the napkin that I'd held on to after breakfast; she dried her eyes and face, then blew her nose. She seemed uncertain what to do with the napkin, so I took it from her, and holding it with only a couple fingertips, exaggeratedly moved it to the side, and tossed it to the end of the couch with a grimace. For a moment, she started to get hurt by what I'd done – until she realized I was teasing her; then she laughed, and hugged me again, saying 'Thanks, Dan.'

When she released me, and sat up, she looked at me for a moment, and said 'I've changed my mind. About us making love.'

I looked at her a moment, and said 'Oh, you don't want to any more?

Okay!' – and threw my arms open, indicating I expected her to get up.

She gave me the Goober look (as if saying'You are such a Goober!'), and said 'No, you dummy, I didn't mean I didn't want to any more. What I meant was that I do want to – more. As in, now I'm ready to really make love with you, and have you inside me. Now put your arms back around me, before I do get up and leave!', finally free to tease me herself.

I made a horrified look on my face, and quickly wrapped her in my arms, making her laugh a little. Then I pulled her close, and told her 'Candice, what I said before still goes – as much or as little as you want, when you want. I'm flattered that you changed your mind, but it isn't necessary for me.'