Agatha H. and the Airship City

The hanging man had the grace to look embarrassed. “Um… Not as such, no, but no matter who or what I am, is it right to leave a fellow sentient strung up like this?”

Agatha considered this. “That depends on the nature of the experiment.”

Othar frowned. “I think you spent a little too much time in those labs.”

Agatha looked surprised. “Really? Why?”

The door behind her slammed open. “Vot is all dis yakkink—”A Jagermonster shambled through the door and stopped dead upon seeing Agatha. “GOTT’S LEEDLE FEESH IN TROUSERS!”

He rushed over to Agatha as another monster soldier entered and surveyed the prisoner. “Anodder shtupid easily duped minion!” He waved at Othar. “Don’t you know dis iz an insanely dangerous guy?”

“I knew that!” Agatha responded defensively.

The other Jager turned towards them. “He’s shtill secure.” He jerked a large thumb over to the other side of the pit, where the door that Agatha had used to enter still swung open. “She came in throo dot idiotic secret door. Dey gots to get rid of dot ting. Vell, let’s just keel her.” He turned towards Agatha. “Ve ain’t suppozed to let anybody in here,” he said apologetically.

“Fiends!” roared Othar. “Kill her and I’ll tell the Baron!”

“Vell mebbe ve keel you too, schmot guy.”

The other Jagermonster began to look troubled. “Gorb…”

“Vat?”

“Gorb, dis iz turnink into von of dose plenz… The kind vere ve keel efferbody dot notices dot ve’s keelink pipple?”

Gorb deflated slightly. “It is?”

The other Jager nodded and slung a friendly paw over Gorb’s shoulders. “Uh-huh. Und how do dose alvays end?”

Gorb muttered, “The dirigible is in flames, everybody’s dead, an’ I’ve lost my hat.”

His friend smiled. “Dot’s right! Und any plan vere you lose your hat iz—?”

Gorb struggled for a second. “A bad plan?” he ventured.

That earned him a slap on the back. “Right again!”

“Look—” Agatha broke in impatiently, “How about you don’t kill me, and I won’t mention that you let me get in.”

Gorb looked troubled. “But…”

His companion beamed. “Hoy! Excellent! Vut a schmot gurl!”

Gorb spoke up. “Stosh, you mean dis iz vun of dose plenz vere ve dun keel hennybody?”

Stosh nodded glumly. “Yop. ‘Fraid so.” He turned to Agatha and leered. “Zo, howzabout I ezcort hyu beck to you qvarters, Meez—?”

“Clay,” she responded automatically. “Agatha Clay.”

The Jagermonsters stared at each other in astonishment. Gorb looked sheepish. Stosh smacked him in the head. “See? See?” he roared. “Dis iz vhy dot ‘keelink evverbody’ plan iz no goot! Hyu never know, now do hyu?” Another smack on the head.

“Know what?” asked Agatha.

Stosh and Gorb spun to face her. “Ve has orders regadink a meez ‘Agatha Clay.’”

There was something different about him. About them both. With a chill she realized what it was. Nothing she could actually point a finger to, but they weren’t… funny anymore.

“O… orders? What orders?” she asked. A tiny analytical part of her brain wondered how much of their daily behavior was an act put on to put those around them at ease.

Stosh shattered the mood by whooping and sweeping Agatha up over his head. “I gots to take hyu to a party!” And with a loud “Wheeeee!” scurried off with her down the hall.

Othar and Gorb stared after them for a moment until Othar sighed and remarked conversationally, “No one ever takes me to parties.”

Gorb looked at him and smiled. “Ve haff our own party. Hyu ken be da pinata!”

After being rushed along several halls, Agatha realized exactly where the Jagermonster was holding her and demanded loudly to be put down. He did so with a laugh and they proceeded onwards.

“Zo. Agatha Clay, hyu iz da gurl who helped Master Gilgamesh fly smek into General Khrizhan’s qvarters?”

“Well… I…” she saw the look of amusement in the soldier’s eyes and gave up any thought of pretense. “Yes.”

“Heh heh. I bet he vas sooprized. So vat heppened?”

“Your Master Gilgamesh was doing the steering, and he…” she paused, and grudgingly amended her narrative, “we didn’t look where we were going and plowed right into the Castle. We smashed through the wall into your general’s room. He was sitting in a chair reading a book and we skidded right into him and he reached out with one hand and WHAP—”she clapped her hands, “we stopped dead. Can you believe that?”

Stosh’s face was filled with wonder. “You saw him do dat?”

Agatha nodded. “Amazing, huh?”

The Jagermonster just shook his head. “Reading a book. Da tings hyu gots to do ven yous a general.”

“HALT!” The order came from behind them. They turned to see a Lackya hurrying up to them.

Agatha turned to look at her companion and saw that he looked… stupider. It was something about the face…

“Vot hyu vant?” he asked the footman. The newcomer drew himself up and sniffed disapprovingly at the soldier.

“There was an intrusion in one of the Baron’s labs. Equipment was damaged. I am to bring in all personnel that I find in this sector.”

The Jagermonster slowly scratched his jaw while glancing at Agatha. She realized that she was acting nervous and forced herself to relax. “Vos de Baron hurt?”

“No one was hurt, but valuable equipment was damaged, and we were ordered to find the culprits.” Unseen by the footman, the Jager’s mouth twitched upwards approvingly.

He slowly turned back. “Hovell, den itz not impawtent. Schtuff break all de time. Goot luck.” He turned to Agatha. “Letz go.”

The footman darted forward, reaching for Agatha. “You will both come with me now!”

Agatha did not see the Jager move, but suddenly the footman’s hand was grasped within the soldier’s paw. The footman hissed, exposing fangs that caused Agatha to take a step back in surprise.

“I dun gotta answer to hyu,” the Jager said lazily, “and dis gurl iz vit me, so hyu dun gotta vorry about her needer.”

The footman’s arm suddenly twisted and his hand was free. The Jager was surprised, but covered it instantly. The footman smirked. “All personnel in this sector includes—”

The Jager interrupted him. “To be ‘personnel,’ hyu gots to be ‘person.’ I is Jagerkin, vitch is better. Vere as hyu is jumped-up lackey boy mit delusions of authority.”

The footman began to vibrate and started hissing. His eyes swiveled towards Agatha. “You will come with