Agatha H. and the Airship City

me—”

Agatha took a step backwards, and felt her hand deftly tucked into the crook of the Jagermonster’s arm. “De lady has chosen. Now ve gots to be goink.”

The footman stood and stared at them until they turned the corner. Agatha looked at the Jager beside her. He was obviously thinking hard. “You won’t get in trouble, will you?”

Stosh looked at her in surprise and grinned. “Trouble?” His tongue shot out for a quick raspberry. “The Lackya are veak.” He glanced back at Agatha. A troubled look crossed his features. “But dey is vindictive. Vatch out for dem. Ve do not know how dangerous dey is yet.”

“You don’t?”

“Mm. De Baron inherited dem ven ve smacked down de Gilded Duke last year. Dey is zuper-engineered sqvirrels or zumting. Dey gots to serve somebody, so de Baron has dem delivering messages and annoying pipple. He keeps dem busy.”

Agatha nodded. “Ah, like he took in the Jagerkin after the Heterodynes disappeared.”

Stosh grabbed her and swung her about until they were faceto-face. “Iz not like dot at ALL!” he roared.

He would obviously have said more, but a large door next to them opened, and the massive form of General Khrizhan filled the doorway. “Vot iz dis shoutink?” he rumbled.

Stosh snapped to attention. “Dis iz Mizz Agatha Clay, who smells verra nize, but tinks der Baron iz kippink uz like dose poncy useless Lackya.” He thought for a moment. “Sir,” he added.

The general stared at Agatha through narrowed eyes. “She sees dot, does she?” He stared for another moment and then closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Thank you, Stosh, I vill talk to her. Beck to hyu post.”

Stosh grinned triumphantly at Agatha. “Hah! Hyu tell her, sir!” With that he wheeled about and strode off.

Agatha and the general looked at each other for a moment, then the Jagergeneral pushed the door open further. “I tink dat der are tings ve should tell each odder, Meez Agatha Clay. Pliz to com inside.”

It was a different room from the one that Agatha and Gil had crashed through earlier. It was smaller and cozier, with a large ceramic stove warming the room. An enormous brass samovar hissed upon a table. Agatha glanced at it and saw, to her shock, that it was decorated with naked female demons. Trying to find someplace else to set her eyes, she discovered that all of the walls were filled with paintings and drawings of a similar nature. She settled for staring at her shoes, realizing belatedly that she did not want to examine the pattern on the rug underneath them too closely.

General Khrizhan coughed, and Agatha thought he sounded embarrassed. “Hy must apologize for the decor. General Zog does not belief dot age, or de dignity of his office, should interfere vit a rich fantasy life.”

“Dose are memories, Alexi, un don hyu forget it!”

Startled, Agatha’s head snapped up and saw two other creatures entering the room. The one that had spoken was shorter than General Khrizhan, but was obviously older. The fur that covered his body was snow white, and his teeth were yellow and uneven in his mouth. His clothing looked like it belonged, not to a soldier, but some sort of barbarian warlord. Despite his evident age, however, he moved with a fluidity that Agatha found hard to follow. The effect was startling.

The last creature was the oddest of all. For one thing, he was gigantic, even next to General Khrizhan, towering a full four meters tall. His mouth was easily a meter wide and filled with what appeared to be hundreds of small sharp teeth. Thick brass goggles hid his eyes, and a small brass dome, scratched and battered by the passage of the years, appeared to be screwed directly onto his skull. His large hands ended in small, delicately clawed fingers. General Khrizhan gestured towards them.

“Dis iz General Zog—” The ancient Jagergeneral nodded his head while keeping his eyes locked on Agatha.

“And dis iz General Goomblast.” The tall monster executed a perfect courtier’s bow that he had evidently been practicing for the last three hundred years.

His voice was a surprisingly pleasant contralto. “And dis must be de Meez Agatha Clay dot made such an impression on our compatriot. Velcome.”

General Zog spoke up. His voice rasped and buzzed like his voicebox was constructed from shoe leather and horn. “Vas hyu involved in dis trouble in der Baron’s lab?” he asked.

Agatha looked at the three creatures. Would they know if she lied? Agatha didn’t lie, as a rule. If for no other reason than she had discovered that she wasn’t very good at it. “Well… it was an accident,” she confessed. All three of the generals broke into huge grins.

“Ho!” Zog slapped her on the back, almost sending Agatha into a wall. “En exident!” He leaned in and spoke confidentially. “Vun ting de Jagerkin understand is dat krezy exidents heppen, right, boyz?”

“Hoo boy, yaz”

“Dot’s de trooth.”

Agatha could well imagine. “Yes, that’s all very good, but why am I here?”

General Khrizhan opened a large cabinet and pulled out a small chest that Agatha recognized with a start as one from the Clays’ home in Beetleburg. Opening it up she discovered—”My clothes! My stuff!”

General Goomblast nodded. “It vas collected ven you vas taken from Beetleburg. Somehow, it vas mizplaced, und ve just discovered it. Ve thought hyu vould vant it as soon as possible.”

Agatha nodded happily, but as she repacked the outfits, her movement slowed and her brow furrowed. “Yes… but you could have just sent them to the dormitory.”

General Khrizhan shrugged as he fiddled with the controls on the samovar. “Oh. Yaz, I suppose hyu is right. Oh vell. Vould hyu like sum tea? To make op for de inconvenience?”

Agatha realized that she was hungry again. How could that be? “Oh, I…”

“Ve effen t’row in sopper.”

“But I…” Agatha’s stomach growled. “Supper?”

General Goomblast offered her a silver platter piled high with warm tea cakes. Agatha could see that some were stuffed with custard and jelly, sprinkled with nuts and topped with a thick sugary glaze. Some appeared to be covered in thick chocolate, and a few were evidently stuffed with fruit. A second plate appeared, covered with warm pastries that Agatha could smell were stuffed with savory meats and baked cheeses. “Iz goot! Ve not eat bugs. I svear!”

General Zog looked at his plate disappointedly. “No bugs?” General Khrizhan shushed him with a glare.

Agatha smiled nervously and graciously plucked a small meat pastry from the tray and gingerly nibbled at it. Onions and spices she was unfamiliar with suffused her mouth and she let out a muffled, happy squeak. It was delicious. Intensely so. In three bites it was gone.

General Goomblast was obviously pleased. He poured her a cup of tea and gestured towards the platter. “Hyu like? Take anodder.”

Agatha looked longingly at the platter, but the manners that Lilith had drilled into her stayed her hand. “Oh, I couldn’t—” she began, but was stopped by General Zog’s reaching forward, tilting the platter, and dumping half of the cakes upon Agatha’s plate.

“Degorl is starffing,” he said conversationally as he put the tray back down. Turning to Agatha he said, “In enemy territory hyu neffer know ven you is gonna eat. Don’t pass up an opportunity.” With that he scooped up the remaining cakes in one hand and dumped them into his mouth.

General Khrizhan took a deep breath and smiled alarmingly at Agatha. “General Zog has been a varrior longer dan any uf us. He see sefferyting in terms of…practicality.” He gestured at Agatha’s plate. “Dis doz not mean dot he iz wrong. Please eat up.”

General Goomblast had stared at the empty platter for a second, sighed in disappointment, and from a sideboard produced an enormous cake pan. Lifting the lid allowed the spicy odor of gingerbread to begin filling the room. A crock on the table was opened, revealing its contents to be thick yellow whipped cream. The large creature showed Agatha how to stir a spoonful into her tea, which, he informed her, came from a friend of the Baron’s in China.

After some steady eating, Agatha felt herself starting to relax, a fact the three Jagers noted.