Today Brian, Harry and I returned to the art gallery. Fortunately it’s open on Sundays too. Annie was pretty fed up this morning. I told her I was going to the art gallery but she didn’t believe me. It’s not really surprising – I didn’t even go into any art galleries when we went to Italy a couple of years ago. My feet get so tired.
The gallery was empty when we got there. So we found the Curator, a pleasant chubby middle-aged lady, and had a little chat with her. She was awfully pleased to see us and of course I didn’t tell her the purpose of our call. I just made it look like I was keeping a fatherly eye on the constituency.
I asked her how popular the gallery is. She answered that it is very popular, and smiled at me.
‘You mean, a lot of people come here?’
She was careful to be honest. ‘Well, I wouldn’t say a lot. But it’s very popular with those who come.’
A slightly evasive response. I pressed her for details; like, the daily average of visitors through the year.
‘Well into double figures,’ she said, as if that were rather a lot.
‘How well?’
‘Um – eleven, on average,’ she admitted, but she added emphatically that they were all very appreciative.
We thanked her for her help and pottered off to look at the pictures. My feet started aching instantly.
At Harry’s office afterwards we went over the details of the proposition. Eleven people per day at the gallery, fifteen to twenty thousand people every week at Aston Wanderers. There is no doubt in any of our minds that our plan is in the public interest.
And the plan is simplicity itself. Close the art gallery, sell it to Safefare Supermarkets, and use the money for an interest-free loan to Aston Wanderers.
Harry sounded a note of caution. ‘There’d have to be a planning inquiry. Change of use. Art gallery to supermarket.’
I could see no problem. There’s no question that this scheme will be immensely popular round here. There’s bound to be some opposition, of course – there’s opposition to
SIR BERNARD WOOLLEY RECALLS:1
Hacker had told me of this plan to save his local football club, but I paid no great attention to it. It seemed to me that it was a constituency matter and not relevant to his Ministerial role.
I was rather surprised to receive a telephone call from Sir Humphrey Appleby about it, asking what – precisely – our political master was up to.
Rather tactlessly I asked him how he found out about it, and was instantly reprimanded. ‘Not from you, Bernard, an omission you may perhaps like to explain.’
He asked for a memo. I sent him one, describing the situation and concluding with my opinion that it would be a very popular move that the local people would support. I received a stern reply, which I have always kept. It is an excellent guideline for all policy matters connected with the Arts.
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Bernard slipped an extra meeting with Sir Humphrey into my diary, first thing this morning.
My Permanent Secretary wanted to warn me personally that there is a reshuffle in the offing.
Naturally this made me a little nervous, as I wasn’t sure if he was dropping an early hint about my being dropped. This was not just paranoia on my part, because I still don’t know whether my deal with the Chief Whip on the matter of the bomb detonators has redounded to my credit or debit as far as the PM is concerned.
But Humphrey made it quickly clear that he was actually talking about a departmental reorganisation – what he called ‘a real reshuffle’. He was warning me that we may be given extra responsibilities.
God knows if we want them! I certainly feel that I’ve got quite enough on my plate. But Humphrey was in no doubt that it would be a definite plus.
‘We want all responsibilities, so long as they mean extra staff and bigger budgets. It is the breadth of our responsibilities that makes us important – makes
‘Bureaucracy,’ I said.
Apparently I’d missed the point. ‘No, Minister, you conclude that at the summit there must be men of great stature and dignity who hold the world in their hands and tread the earth like princes.’
I could certainly see his point, put like that.
‘So that is the reason,’ Humphrey continued, ‘why every new responsibility must be seized and every old one guarded jealously. Entirely in your interest of course, Minister.’
A real overdose of soft soap. In my interest perhaps, but certainly not
I thanked him for the information and courteously dismissed him. I can really see through him nowadays.
As he was leaving he enquired about the Corn Exchange Art Gallery proposal. I was surprised he’d heard about it as it’s not a matter for central government.
