the porters who had brought me; they ate and drank in the forecourt and praised me volubly. They sang aloud as they carried me back to the inn, crowds followed us, and from that day my name was famous in Babylon. But Kaptah rode his white donkey in a great rage and would not speak to me, for he had been wounded in his dignity.
3
Two weeks later I met the King’s physicians in Marduk’s tower, where we sacrificed a sheep together and the priests examined its liver; in Babylon the priests consult the livers of sacrificial beasts, interpreting therefrom much that is hidden from others. They told us that the King would be exceedingly wroth but that no man would lose his life because of it or suffer lasting hurt, though we must beware of claws and spears. Next we bade the astronomers consult the Book of the Heavens to learn whether the day was auspicious for this undertaking. They told us that the day was not unfavorable although we might have chosen a better. Next the priests at our request poured oil into water and in this sought to read the future. Having surveyed the oil, they said they saw nothing remarkable-or at least nothing of ill omen. As we left the temple, a vulture flew over us carrying in its claws a human head it had snatched from the wall. This the priests interpreted as a favorable sign-though to me it appeared very far from that.
Warned by the auguries, we dismissed the King’s guard and shut the lion out, for when the King became angered, he might have set it upon us, to rend us, as the physicians declared had been known to happen. But King Burnaburiash came stoutly in, having fortified his liver with wine-as they say in Babylon-though when he saw the dentist’s chair that had been conveyed to the palace he turned extremely pale and said that he had important affairs of state to see to, which he had forgotten while drinking.
He made as if to go, but while the other physicians lay face downward upon the floor, wiping it with their mouths, I seized the King’s hand and encouraged him, saying that all would speedily be over if he would only have courage. I ordered the doctors to cleanse themselves, and I purified the dentist’s instruments in the fire of the scarab, then rubbed numbing salves into the boy’s gum till he commanded me to stop, saying that his cheek was like wood and he could no longer move his tongue. Then we set him in the chair, binding his head to it and putting wedges in his mouth so that he could not close it. I held his hands and cheered him, the dentist audibly invoked all the gods of Babylon to aid him and, putting the forceps into the boy’s mouth, whipped out the tooth more deftly than I have ever seen it done. Despite the gags the King yelled in a terrible manner, and the lion began roaring outside the door, hurling itself against it till it creaked and scratching at it with its claws.
It was a terrifying moment, for when we had unbound the boy’s head and taken the wedges from his jaws, he spat blood into a dish, shrieking and yelling, with the tears pouring down his face. He roared that his bodyguard should put us all to death; he called his lion and kicked over the holy fire and beat his physician with a stick till I took it from him and bade him rinse his mouth. This he did while the physicians lay at his feet quaking in every limb, and the dentist thought that his last hour was come. But the King quieted down and drank some wine, though with a wry mouth, and asked me to divert him as I had promised.
We went into the great banqueting hall, for the room in which the tooth had been drawn was no longer pleasing to the King. Indeed, he intended to close it forever and call it the Accursed Room. I poured water into a vessel and let the King and the other doctors taste it and satisfy themselves that it was, indeed, ordinary water. Next I poured the water slowly into another vessel, and as it ran into this, it was transmuted into blood so that the King and his physicians cried aloud in dismay.
After this the King rewarded his physicians richly and made the dentist a wealthy man, and he sent them all away. But he bade me stay, and I taught him how to change water into blood, giving him some of the substance that must be mixed with the water to bring the miracle about. It is a simple matter as everyone familiar with it knows, but every great art is simple, and the King marveled greatly and was full of my praises. He was not content until he had summoned to the garden all the distinguished men of the court and also people from the walls. In the sight of all he transmuted the water of the pool into blood so that both mighty and humble cried out in fear, prostrating themselves before him, to his very great satisfaction.
He had forgotten his tooth, and he said to me, “Sinuhe the Egyptian, you have cured me of a great evil and delighted my liver in many ways, therefore, you may ask of me what you will. Name the gift you desire, and I will give it you, whatever it may be, for I would rejoice your liver also.”
I replied, “King Burnaburiash, lord of the four quarters of the world! As your physician I have held your head under my arm and grasped your hands when you uttered wrathful cries. It is not fitting that I, a stranger, should preserve such a memory of the King of Babylon when I return to my own country to tell of what I have seen here. Impress me, therefore, with a glimpse of your might! Hang a beard upon your chin, gird a tail about you, arid command your warriors to parade before your face that I may behold your majesty and power-that I may prostrate myself humbly before you and kiss the dust. I ask no more than this.”
My request pleased him, for he answered, “Truly no one has ever spoken as you do, Sinuhe. I will grant your request though for me it is most wearisome, for I must sit throughout a whole day on a golden throne till my eyes are tired and I am overcome with yawning. Nevertheless, it shall be as you wish.”
He sent word to all parts of the country summoning his forces and fixed a day for the parade.
This parade took place at the Gate of Ishtar. The King sat upon a golden throne with the lion at his feet and with his chief dignitaries about him fully armed; he appeared to float in a cloud of gold and silver and purple. Below him along the broad road ran the warriors-spearmen and archers sixty abreast and chariots six abreast-and their passing took the whole day. The chariot wheels were thunderous, and the thud of running feet and the clatter of accouterments was like a tempest, making the eyes swim and the knees tremble.
I said to Kaptah, “It will not suffice for us to report that the Babylonian warriors are as the sands of the sea in number; we must count them.”
He protested, “Lord, this cannot be done, for there are not so many numbers in the world.”
Yet I reckoned as well as I might. The foot soldiers were sixty times sixty times sixty men, while of chariots there were sixty-for sixty is a sacred number in Babylon, as are also five and seven and twelve.
I noted, also, that the shields and weapons of the King’s bodyguard blazed with gold and silver, their faces gleamed with oil, they were so fat that running made them breathless, and they panted past the King like a herd of oxen. But they were few in number; the troops from outlying districts were sunburned and dirty and smelled of urine. Many of them lacked spears, for the King’s summons had taken them by surprise. Their eyes were sore from flies, and I reflected that soldiers in every country are alike. Moreover, their chariots were old and squeaky, one or two of them lost a wheel as they drove by, and the scythes fixed to them were green with verdigris.
That evening the King summoned me to his presence and said smilingly, “Did you see my might, Sinuhe?”
I prostrated myself at his feet, kissed the ground, and answered, “Truly there is no mightier monarch than yourself, and it is not for nothing that men call you lord of the four quarters of the world. My eyes are weary, my head whirls, and my limbs tremble with fear, for the number of your warriors is as the sands of the sea.”
He smiled in delight.
“You have had your desire, Sinuhe. Let us now drink wine and rejoice our livers after this tedious day, for I have much to ask you.”
I drank with the King, and he asked me many questions such as children and the young who have seen nothing of the world will ask.
My answers pleased him, and at last he said, “The wine has revived me and cheered my liver, and I go now to my women. But come you-vith me, for that as a physician you may do. I have a superabundance of wives and shall not be offended if you choose one for yourself tonight, provided you do not get her with child, for that would cause difficulties. I am also curious to see how an Egyptian lies with a woman, for every nation has its own customs. If I were to tell you the ways of those wives who come from distant lands, you would not believe me and would be greatly astonished.”
He would not heed my refusal but led me to the women’s house on walls of which he showed me pictures his artists had made of colored tiles. They depicted men and women taking pleasure with one another in many different ways. He showed me, also, some of his wives, who were clad in rich garments and adorned with precious stones.
