Among them were women and young girls from all known lands, and also some from the savage nations, whom merchants had brought. They varied in color and figure and chattered like monkeys in many different tongues; they danced before the King with bared bellies and diverted him in various ways, competing for his favor. He urged me continually to choose one of them for myself until at last I told him that I had promised my god to abstain from women whenever I was about to treat a patient. I was to perform an operation on one of the court officials on the following day, so I insisted that since I might not approach a woman it would be better for me to retire, lest I bring my calling into disrepute. The King accepted this and allowed me to go, but the women were sorely displeased and showed it by various gestures and sounds. They had never yet seen there a man in the prime of his manhood, but only eunuchs and the King, who was young and slender and still without a beard.
Before I went, the King said, laughing to himself, “The rivers have overflowed their banks, and the spring has come, and the priests have therefore chosen the thirteenth day from today for the spring festival and the Day of the False King. I have prepared a surprise for you on that day that I believe will greatly divert you, and I expect to enjoy it myself, also. I will not say what it is to be, for that would spoil my pleasure.”
I went away full of misgivings, fearing that what amused King Burnaburiash would not amuse me at all, and in this Kaptah for once was of my opinion.
During my continued stay in Babylon I acquired much occult learning that was useful to a physician; the priestly art of prophecy especially was of interest to me. I learned also under the priests’ direction to read the auguries in the livers of sheep, which revealed many hidden things, and spent much time studying the patterns formed by oil upon the surface of water.
Before I speak of the spring festival in Babylon and of the Day of the False King, I would mention a curious incident concerning my birth.
When the priests consulted a sheep’s liver on my account and contemplated floating oil, they said, “There is some fearful secret connected with your birth that we cannot resolve and from which it appears that you are not merely an Egyptian as you believe but a stranger in the world.”
I told them then that I had not been born like other men but had come drifting down the river in a reed boat and that my mother had found me among the reeds. Then the priests looked at one another and bowing low before me, said, “This we guessed.”
They went on to tell me of their great King Sargon, who had gathered the four corners of the world under his sway and whose empire had stretched from the northern sea to the southern sea and who had ruled also over the islands in the sea. They told me that as a newborn child he had been carried down the river in a pitched-reed boat and that nothing was known of his birth until his mighty deeds showed that he was born of the gods.
At this my heart was filled with dread, and I tried to laugh the matter off.
“Surely you do not fancy that I, a doctor, am born of the gods?”
They did not laugh but said gravely, “That we do not know, but prudence is a virtue-therefore, we bow before you.”
They bowed low before me once more until I had had enough and said, “Let us make an end of this foolery and return to our business.”
They began once more to interpret- the mazes of the liver but stole awestruck glances at me and whispered among themselves.
From this day the thought of my origin weighed upon my spirit, and my heart sank because I was a stranger in all four quarters of the world. I had a strong desire to question the astrologers, but as I did not know the precise hour of my birth, it was useless to ask since they could not have enlightened me. Nevertheless, at the priests’ request they sought out the tablets relating to the year and the day of my coming down the river, for the priests also were curious. But all the astrologers could say was that if I had been born at such and such a time of day I must have been of royal blood and destined to rule over a nation of many people. This knowledge was no comfort to me, for, when I thought of the past, I remembered only the crime I had committed and the shame I had brought upon myself in Thebes. It might be that the stars had cursed me from the very day of my birth and sent me in the reed boat to drive Senmut and Kipa to an untimely death and to rob them of the contentment of their old age-to rob them even of their tomb. And at this I shuddered, for if once the stars opposed me, I could not avoid my destiny but should continue to bring ruin and suffering upon those who held me dear. The future oppressed me, and 1 feared it, and I perceived that everything that had happened to me was designed to make me turn my heart from my fellows and live alone, for only solitude could save me from bringing destruction upon others.
4
It remains for me to tell of the Day of the False King.
When the young corn had begun to sprout and the fierce chill of the nights had given way to warmth, the priests went forth out of the city to bring their god from his tomb and to cry that he had risen again. Upon this the city of Babylon was transformed into a fair ground, where there was dancing and where gaily dressed crowds poured along the streets. The mob plundered the shops, making more commotion and uproar than the soldiers had after the great inspection. Women and girls went to the temple of Ishtar to collect silver for their wedding portions, and whoever chose might enjoy them without shame. The last day of the festival was the Day of the False King.
I was by now familiar with many customs in Babylon, yet I was astonished to see the King’s bodyguard before dawn on that day crowding drunkenly into Ishtar’s House of Joy, breaking open the doors and striking everyone they met with the butts of their spears as they shouted at the tops of their voices:
“Where is our king hiding? Bring him forth speedily, for the sun is about to rise, and the king must dispense justice to his people!”
The din was beyond description. Lamps were lighted, and the inn servants ran about the passages in a fright, while Kaptah, believing that riots had broken out in the city, hid beneath my bed. But I went to meet the soldiers, naked under my woolen robe, having just risen from sleep, and asked them, “What is it you want? Beware how you behave to me, for I am Sinuhe the Egyptian, the Son of the Wild Ass, whose name you have certainly heard.”
At this they shouted, “If you are Sinuhe, then you are he whom we seek!”
They tore off my cloak so that I stood naked; whereupon they pointed me out to each other in wonder, having never before seen a circumcised man. Then they debated together, saying, “Can we let this man go free? He is a danger to our women, who love whatever is new and strange.”
But when they had had enough of mockery, they released me, saying, “Waste no more of our time but deliver to us your servant, for we must bring him to the palace with all speed, today being the Day of the False King. It is the King’s will that we hasten to the palace with the man.”
When Kaptah heard this, he was so terrified that he began to tremble and shake the whole bed so that they found him and, dragging him forth with jubilation, made deep obeisance before him.
They said to one another, “This is a day of great rejoicing, for at last we have found our king who had hidden himself and disappeared from our sight. Our eyes are gladdened by him, and we hope he will reward our fidelity with many gifts.”
The trembling Kaptah stared at them with eyes as big as snaffle rings, and at the sight of his amazement and terror they laughed more than ever and said, “This is indeed the king of the four quarters of the world, and we know his face!”
They bowed low before him, and those who stood at his back kicked him in the seat to hurry him.
Kaptah said to me, “Truly this city-truly this whole world is full of destruction, of maniacs and malignants against whom not even the scarab seems able to protect me. I cannot tell whether I stand on my head or my heels-it may be that I am sound asleep there upon the bed and in the grip of an evil dream. Anyway, I must go with them, for they are sturdy men. But save your own life, lord, if you may. Take down my body from the wall when they have hung me up by the heels, and embalm it for safety’s sake. Do not let them throw me into the river.”
The soldiers howled with delight when they heard him.
“By Marduk, we could have found no better king than this; it is a marvel that his tongue is not in knots with his talking.”
Dawn was now breaking, and they smote Kaptah on the back with their spear shafts to hurry him and led him
