separated from Merit because of Aton, and so I remained in an exceedingly ill humor until the evening I saw Kaptah.
3
No one could long remain sullen at the sight of Kaptah rolling in through the tavern door, huge and ponderous as a farrowing sow-so fat that he had to turn sideways to get in. His face was as round as the full moon and gleaming with sweat and expensive oils; he wore a fine blue wig and had hidden his empty eye socket with a disk of gold. He had ceased to wear Syrian dress but was clothed in the Egyptian fashion, in the finest garments the tailors of Thebes could produce, and his wrists and thick ankles jingled with heavy gold rings.
When he saw me he cried out with his arms raised in surprise, then bowed low before me and stretched forth his hands, a posture his belly made difficult of achievement.
“Blessed be the day that brings my lord home!”
His feelings overcame him, and he wept, throwing himself on his knees to embrace my legs and making such clamor that I recognized my old Kaptah despite the royal linen and the gold bangles, the costly oil and the blue wig. I raised him by the arms and embraced him, and I seemed to be hugging a fat ox that smelled of new bread, so powerfully did the odor of the corn exchange hang about him.
He smelled my shoulders politely also, dried his tears, and laughed, “This is for me a day of such great joy that I will offer every customer now sitting in my house one crocodile’s tail free! Should they desire a second they must pay for it themselves.”
He led me into the inner part of the house and gave me soft mats to recline on. He allowed Merit to sit beside me while servants and slaves brought me the best the house could offer. His wines were comparable to those of Pharaoh, and his roast goose was a Theban goose, which has no parallel in the whole of Egypt, for it is fed with rotten fish, which imparts to the meat the finest, most delicate flavor.
When we had eaten and drunk he said, “Sinuhe, my lord and master, I trust that you have carefully examined all reports and accounts prepared for you by the scribes at my bidding and dispatched to your house in Akhetaton during these past years. Perhaps you will permit me to charge this dinner to our expense account, also the crocodiles’ tails that in my great joy I have presented to the customers. This will be all to your advantage, for I have the greatest trouble in deceiving Pharaoh’s taxation department on your behalf.”
I said to him, “This is all mumbo-jumbo to me; I understand not a word of it. Do what seems best, for you know I place full trust in you. I have read your records and accounts yet must confess that I understood but little of them, since they contain an inordinate quantity of figures and my head ached long before I came to the end of the sums.”
Kaptah laughed delightedly, and the laugh rumbled from his belly as from under soft cushions. Merit also laughed, for she had drunk wine with me and was now leaning back with her hands behind her head so that I might observe how beautiful still was the curve of her breasts beneath her dress.
Kaptah said, “Oh, Sinuhe, my lord and master, I rejoice to see that you have kept your childish disposition and understand no more of everyday things than does a swine of pearls-though it is far from my intention to liken you to a pig. Rather I render thanks and praise to all the gods of Egypt on your behalf since they might well have given you as a servant some thief or good-for-nothing who would have beggared you, while I have made you rich,”
I pointed out that he had no need to thank the gods for this but-rather my good judgment since I had bought him myself in the slave market-and cheaply, because he had lost one eye in a tavern brawl.
At the recollection of these things I was moved and said, “Truly I shall never forget my first sight of you, bound by the ankle to the slave stake and shouting shameless words to the women who passed by or begging beer from the men. Yet I was wise to buy you although I was doubtful of this at the time.”
Kaptah’s face darkened and twisted itself into many folds as he replied, “I do not care to be reminded of such old and tedious matters, which are unbecoming to my dignity.” He went on to praise the scarab very highly, saying, “You were wise to leave the scarab with me to watch over your affairs, for it has made you rich-richer than you could ever have dreamed-despite the tax gatherers who swarm over me like flies. I have had to hire two Syrian bookkeepers to keep special books for their benefit, for no one-not Set himself-could make head or tail of Syrian bookkeeping. And talking of Set, my thoughts turn to our old friend Horemheb to whom I have lent money in your name as you know. I will not speak of him now but of your wealth, little though you may grasp of such matters. Thanks to me you are richer than many Egyptian nobles. Wealth means possession not of gold but of houses and stores and ships and quays, cattle and land and orchards and slaves. You own all these although you may be unaware of it since I have been compelled to enter many items in the names of servants and scribes to evade taxation. Pharaoh’s taxes bear hardly upon the well-to-do who must pay more than the poor, so while a poor man hands over one fifth of his grain, a rich man is compelled to give a third or even half. This is iniquity-the most godless iniquity of all that Pharaoh has perpetrated. This and the loss of Syria have beggared the country. What is strangest of all as national wealth decreases, the poor become poorer than before and the rich become richer. Not even Pharaoh can alter this.”
Having drunk once more Kaptah began to boast of his dealings in grain.
“Our scarab, lord, is strange in that on the first day of our return from our travels it brought me to the wine shop patronized by corn merchants. I began at once to purchase grain on your behalf and already in the first year was able to make a profit since Am-I mean certain large pieces of land lay fallow and unsown as you know. Grain is a remarkable commodity in that it may be bought and sold before it is ever sown, and also because its price rises from year to year as by witchcraft so that the buyer cannot help making a profit. For this reason I do not intend to sell but shall continue to buy it and store it in my granaries until the price by measure is paid in gold, as is bound to happen if this state of things continues.”
Kaptah, having examined my face, poured out more wine for all three of us and went on gravely, “However, no man stakes all he has on a single throw, and so I have spread your profits evenly among many ventures so as to play as it were with several dice on your behalf, my dear lord. I have stolen no more from you than formerly-not half what I have earned for you by my sagacity; hardly even a third, although I know of no one from whom it would be more rewarding to steal, my dear and blessed lord Sinuhe.”
Merit leaned back on her mat, smiling, and laughed aloud at my bewildered expression as I sought to grasp all that Kaptah was saying. He continued his explanations.
“You must understand, lord, that when I speak of profits I mean net profits, all that is left after taxation. I have also had to subtract certain presents for the taxation officers because of my Syrian bookkeeping and great quantities of wine with which it was needful to ply them to make them squint when they examined my figures. That alone was no small item, for they are astute men with unusual powers of resistance; they grow fat in their profession. From time to time I have distributed grain to the poor that they might bless my name. When times are unsettled, it is well to live in harmony with the poor. This distribution of grain is an excellent stroke of business since Pharaoh in his madness allows a rebate on all corn so distributed.
When I give a measure of grain to a poor man, I cause him to testify with his thumbprint that he has received five measures, for the poor cannot read-and if they could they would be so thankful for one measure that they would bless my name and press their fingers at the foot of any document I put before them.”
When Kaptah had delivered himself of all this he folded his arms in a challenging manner, puffed out his chest, and awaited my praise. But his words had set my mind to work and I thought hard for some time. At length I asked, “Then we have large stocks of grain?”
Kaptah nodded vigorously, still awaiting my commendation, but I went on, “If such is the case you must hasten to the settlers who are cultivating the accursed land and distribute the grain among them for seed, for they have none. What corn they have is speckled as if blood had rained on it. The river has fallen, and the time of plowing and sowing has come; you must go in haste.”
Kaptah regarded me compassionately with a shake of the head, and said, “My dear lord, you should not vex your valuable head with matters you do not understand, but let me do your thinking for you. The matter stands thus: We dealers first profited from the settlers by lending grain to them, for they were compelled by poverty to pay back two measures for every one borrowed. If they were unable to pay, we made them slaughter their cattle and
