lying in the path ahead like some attendant curse.”
She muttered invocations between her thick lips and shifted her feet uneasily on the floor, but all the while her nimble fingers knotted the bright rushes into a mat. As I looked at them, my heart was chilled. For the knots she tied were those of a fowler, and were familiar to me. Yes, I knew them; they were peculiar to the Lower Kingdom. As a child I had seen them in a sooty reed boat that hung above my mother’s bed.
When this had flashed upon me, my tongue was frozen and my limbs numb. On the night of my birth a mild west wind had been blowing, carrying the boat down the flood waters and bringing it to rest on the shore near my father’s house. The thought that dawned on me as I watched the Queen Mother’s fingers was so outrageous and terrible that I strove to put it from me, telling myself that anyone might use fowler’s knots in making a reed boat. Yet fowlers plied their trade in the Lower Kingdom, and I had never seen such knots tied by anyone in Thebes. As a boy I had often examined the sooty boat with its broken strands and marveled at the knots that held it together, though at that time I was unaware of its link with my own destiny.
But the Queen Mother never noticed how I suddenly stiffened. She expected no answer but plunged into her own thoughts and memories. She said, “I may appear to you an infamous and repulsive woman, Sinuhe, now that I have spoken thus openly. Do not judge me too sternly because of my deeds, but seek to understand. It is not easy for a young fowler girl to enter Pharaoh’s women’s house, where everyone despises her for her dark skin and broad feet-where she is pricked by a thousand needles and has no refuge but a whim of Pharaoh and the beauty and youth of her body. Can you wonder if I did not look too closely into the ways and means to be used when I sought to bind Pharaoh’s heart to me-when night after night I accustomed him to the strange practices of the blacks until he could no longer live without my caresses, and until through him I ruled Egypt? In this way I defeated all intrigues in the golden house, avoided all snares and tore aside the nets that were spread about my path, nor did I shrink from revenge when I had cause for it. I stilled all tongues with fear and ruled the golden house according to my will-and my will was that no other wife should bear a son to Pharaoh until I had done so. Therefore, no other wife did bear him a son, and the daughters that were born I married off at birth to eminent men, so strong was my will. Yet I dared not bear children at first lest I become ugly in his sight, for in the beginning I kept my hold over him by my body alone and had not yet entangled his heart in a thousand other nets. Moreover he was aging, and the embraces by which I dominated him made him weak so that, when at last I judged the time ripe for breeding, I bore him, to my horror, a girl. This daughter is Baketaton, whom I have not yet married off; she is another arrow in my quiver. The wise keep many arrows in their quiver and never trust to one alone. Time passed, and I was in great agony of mind until at last I bore a son. I have taken less delight in him than I had hoped since he is mad, for which reason I fasten all my hopes on his son, though yet unborn. So great is my power that not one wife in Pharaoh’s household bore him a son during all those years but only daughters. As a physician, Sinuhe, must you not acknowledge that this magic art of mine is remarkable?”
Trembling I looked into her eyes and said, “Your magic is of a simple and despicable order, great queen mother: your fingers braid it into the bright rushes for all to see.”
She dropped the work as if it had burned her, and her beer-reddened eyes rolled in her head in dismay as she exclaimed, “Are you also a magician, Sinuhe, or is this matter known to all the people?”
I told her, “Everything is known to them at last. Although none may have witnessed your actions, yet the night has seen you-the night wind has whispered of your deed in many ears. Though you could silence the tongues of men, yet you could not stifle the night wind’s utterance. Nevertheless, the magic carpet beneath your fingers is exceedingly handsome, and I should be grateful for it as a gift. I would set great value on it-certainly a higher value than anyone else to whom you might present it.”
As I spoke, she grew calmer. She continued to work with fingers that trembled, and she drank more beer. When I had stopped she gave me a cunning look and said, “Perhaps I will give you this mat if I ever finish it, Sinuhe. It is a beautiful and precious mat since I have made it with my own hands-a royal mat. One gift deserves another. What will you offer me, Sinuhe?”
I laughed and answered indifferently, “As a gift in return, Queen Mother, I will give you my tongue although I would be glad if you would let it stay where it is. It will not profit my tongue to speak against you, therefore, it is yours.”
She muttered to herself and shot me a sidelong glance, then said, “Why should I accept as a gift that which is already in my power? No one would stop me from taking your tongue. I might take your hands also so that you could not write what you were prevented from uttering. Furthermore I could take you to my cellars to greet my dear Negroes, whence you might never return since they like to use humans for their sacrifices.”
But I said to her, “Clearly you have drunk too much beer, Queen Mother. Drink no more tonight lest you encounter hippopotamuses in your dreams. My tongue is yours and I hope to receive your mat when it is finished.”
I rose to go, and she giggled as old women do when tipsy.
“You divert me greatly, Sinuhe-you divert me greatly!”
I left her and returned unmolested to the city, and Merit shared her mat with me. I was no longer quite happy. My thoughts ran on the soot-blackened reed boat that hung above my mother’s bed, on the dark fingers that fashioned a mat with fowler’s knots, and on the night winds that carried the fragile boats downstream from the walls of the golden house to the Theban shore. I. was no longer quite happy, for what increases knowledge increases vexations, and this was a vexation I could well have dispensed with, being no longer young.
5
The official pretext for my journey to Thebes was a visit to the House of Life. It was years since I had entered it although my position as skull surgeon to Pharaoh entailed this obligation. Also I feared that I might have lost something of my skill since during the whole of my stay in Akhetaton I had not opened a single skull. So I went to the House of Life, where I discoursed and instructed those pupils who had chosen to specialize in this branch. As students were no longer required to qualify for the lowest grade of priesthood before entering the House of Life, I fancied that knowledge also would have been freed from the bonds of convention and would have advanced, because the pupils were no longer forbidden to ask “why.”
But in this I was greatly disappointed. These boys were immature and lacking in any desire to ask “why.” Their highest ambition was to obtain knowledge ready made from their teachers and have their names entered in the Book of Life so that they might start to practice and to earn money without delay.
There were now so few patients that weeks passed before I had opportunity to open the three skulls I had set myself as a test for my skill. These operations won me high regard; both physicians and students flattered me and praised the steadiness and dexterity of my hands.
However, I was oppressed by the suspicion that these hands were less skillful than they had once been. My eyes had dimmed so that I was unable to detect disease with my former ease and assurance and was obligated to ask numerous questions and perform lengthy examinations in order to arrive at my conclusions. For this reason I received patients daily at my house and treated them for nothing, with the sole purpose of regaining my former proficiency.
Of the three skulls I dealt with in the House of Life, one I opened from compassion because the sick man was incurable and suffered intolerable pain. Both the remaining cases were interesting and demanded the full exercise of my skill.
One was a man who a year or so before had fallen on his head from a rooftop, where he had been disporting himself with another man’s wife. He had fallen while fleeing from the husband but regained consciousness later without apparent injury. After some time he fell ill of the holy sickness and suffered successive attacks, which invariably followed the drinking of wine. He saw no visions but merely shouted in a furious voice, kicked, and bit his tongue, and could not contain his water. So greatly did he dread these attacks that he begged to undergo the operation. I laid bare the whole surface of his brain, which in many parts was black with old blood. The cleansing process took a considerable time and could not have been fully performed without injury. The man suffered no further attacks, however, for he died on the third day after the operation, as is usual. Nevertheless this operation was acclaimed as highly successful; I was praised for my performance, and the students took careful note of all I did.
