took the hides in payment for debt. When grain increased in price, this arrangement became unprofitable, and it is now to our advantage to let as much land as possible remain unsown this spring so that the price of grain may rise still higher. Let us therefore not be such maniacs as to lend the settlers corn for sowing, for that would be to damage our own interests, and- I should make enemies of all the corn merchants.”
But in this I was resolute, and I said sharply, “Do as I order, Kaptah, for the grain is mine, and I am not thinking now of profits but of men whose ribs show through their skins like the ribs of miners-of women whose breasts hang like empty bags-of children walking bowlegged on the river bank, their eyes crawling with flies. It is my will that you should divide this grain among them for sowing and that you should help them by every means to get it sown. I desire you to do this for Aton’s sake and for the sake of Pharaoh Akhnaton, whom I love. Do not give it to them free, for I have seen how gifts breed laziness and ill will and sloth and greed. Were they not given land and cattle for nothing? And still they failed. Use your stick on them, Kaptah, if it be needful. See to it that the corn is sown and reaped. When you come to claim your own again, I will permit you to rake nothing of! for yourself: you will take from them one measure for every one lent.”
When Kaptah heard this he tore his clothes and lamented.
“Measure for measure, lord? Madness, for where am I to steal if not from your profits? In other respects also your talk is foolish and godless. Besides the corn merchants I shall have the priests of Ammon against me-and I may safely speak his name aloud now that we are sitting in a closed room with none to hear or inform against me. I call his name aloud, lord, for he lives still,- and his power is more formidable than ever before. He curses our houses and our ships and our warehouses and shops-this tavern he curses also so that it may be wise to transfer it to Merit’s name if she agrees-and I am indeed thankful so much of your property is entered under other names so that the priests cannot learn of it and call down maledictions on it.”
Kaptah babbled on to gain time in the hope that I should repent of my purpose. When he saw that I was resolved, he swore bitterly and said, “Have you been bitten by a mad dog, lord? Or stung by a scorpion? I thought at first that this was some feeble jest of yours. The plan will make us poor; nevertheless perhaps the scarab can help us. Moreover-to be quite frank-I do not like to look on thin people myself but turn my eyes the other way. I wish that you would do the same, for what a man doesn’t see he need never know. I have soothed my conscience by the distribution of grain among the poor since this was profitable. What I most dislike about your plan is that you require me to venture on uncomfortable journeys and tramp about in the mud, where doubtless I shall stumble and fall into some irrigation ditch-and then you will have my life upon your conscience, lord, for I am a tired old man, and my limbs are stiff. I should miss my soft couch and Muti’s soups and steaks; also walking makes me breathless.”
But I was pitiless.
“You are a bigger liar than ever, Kaptah, for you have grown younger during these years instead of older. Your hands do not tremble as they did, nor was your eye red when you first came in, but only now since you have drunk too much wine. As a physician I prescribe this uncomfortable journey for you because of the love I bear you. You are altogether too fat, which is a strain on your heart and constricts your breathing. I hope that you will thin down in the course of this expedition and become a respectable human being once more so that I need not blush for my servant’s obesity. Don’t you remember how we rejoiced as we walked the dusty Babylonian roads-with what rapture you rode your donkey among the mountains of Lebanon, and with what even greater rapture you descended from the beast in Kadesh? Truly, if I were younger-that is, had I not so many important missions to fulfill here on Pharaoh’s behalf-I would come with you myself, for many will bless your name because of this journey.”
We wrangled no more, and Kaptah resigned himself to the project. Late into the night we sat drinking. Merit also drank, and she bared her brown skin that I might brush it with my lips. Kaptah recited his memories of the roads and threshing floors of Babylonia. If he had accomplished as much as he claimed, then my love for Minea must have rendered me blind and deaf at the time. For I did not forget Minea although I lay that night on Merit’s mat and took pleasure with her so that my heart was warmed and my loneliness melted away. Nevertheless, I did not call her my sister, but lay with her because she was my friend, and she did for me the friendliest thing that a woman may do for a man. I was willing to break the jar with her, but she would not, saying that she was tavern bred and I too wealthy and eminent a man for her. But I think it was that she desired her freedom and my continued friendship.
4
On the following day I had to visit the golden house for an audience of the Queen Mother, whom all Thebes now called the black witch. I think that despite her ability and-/isdom she had earned the name. She was a merciless old plotter. The great power she wielded had shriveled every good quality.
When I had returned to the ship, changed into royal linen, and assumed the symbols of my dignity, my cook Muti came from the copperfounder’s house in a great rage and said to me, “Blessed be the day that brought you home, lord, but is it in any way fitting that you should go rioting among the pleasure houses all night without even coming home for breakfast, although I have taken very great pains to prepare the food you like? Moreover, I stayed up all night to bake and roast and have thrashed the idle slaves to speed them with the cleaning of the house, until my right arm aches with weariness. I am now an old woman and have lost my faith in men, nor have you done anything to raise my opinion of them. Come home now, and eat the breakfast I have prepared for you-and bring the harlot with you if you cannot bear to be parted from her even for a day.”
Such were her words although she held Merit in high honor and admired her. It was her way of talking, to which I had grown accustomed. Her acrimony was melodious to me, making me feel that I had come home. Having sent word to Merit at the Crocodile’s Tail, I went with her willingly.
She walked with dragging feet beside my chair and kept up a constant muttering: “I hoped that you had settled down and learned to behave decently during your long sojourn among royalty, but it is plain that you have done nothing of the kind and are as unruly as before. Yet I seemed to read peace and composure in your face yesterday. I was also glad to note that your cheeks were somewhat plumper, for when a man grows fat he grows tranquil. It will certainly not be my fault if you lose weight here in Thebes, but the fault of your own graceless courses. All men are alike and all evil in the world springs from the little tool they hide beneath their loincloths because they are ashamed of it-as well they may be.”
So incessant was her nagging that I was reminded of my mother Kipa. I should certainly have been moved to tears had I not quickly snapped at her, “Shut your mouth, woman, for your chatter disturbs my thoughts and is like the buzz of flies in my ear.”
She fell silent at once, delighted at having teased me into shouting at her and so making her feel that the master had indeed come home.
She had prepared the house very handsomely for my reception. Bunches of flowers were tied to the pillars of the entrance, the garden was swept, and the carcass of a cat that had lain before my door now lay before that of the neighbor. She had hired children to stand in the street and shout “Blessed the day that brings our lord home!” She had done this because she was indignant that I had no children of my own; she would have liked me to have some if they could have been obtained without a wife. I gave the children copper, and Muti distributed honey cakes among them, and they went away rejoicing.
Then Merit came, very beautifully arrayed and with flowers in her hair, and her hair gleamed with perfumed oil so that Muti sniffed and wiped her nose as she poured water over our hands. The food she had prepared for us was sweet to my palate, for it was Theban food. In Akhetaton I had forgotten that nowhere in the world is there to be found such food as in Thebes.
I thanked Muti and praised her skill, which delighted her although she tried to scowl and snort, and Merit complimented her also.
Whether this meal in the copperfounder’s house was in any way memorable or noteworthy I do not know. I mention it for my own sake because it was then I felt happy, and I said, “Stay your course, water clock, for this hour is a good hour. Let it never pass.”
While we were eating, people had gathered in my courtyard: people from the poor quarter, who had arrayed themselves in their best clothes and come to greet me and to bewail their aches and pains.
They said, “We have sorely missed you, Sinuhe. While you dwelled among us we did not value you at your
