Jane Goes Batty

so surprised?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Lucy. “Maybe because I’ve never heard you sing. Maybe because you’ve never mentioned it. Maybe because the idea of Jane Austen playing Magenta in The Rocky Horror Picture Show is so freaking awesome I could die.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “I told you, it was The Rocky Horror Show. And it was for a very short time. I might as well have been an understudy.”

“How did you even get involved in it?” asked Lucy.

“Well, you know the show,” said Jane. “It’s really all about monsters of one kind or another. There were several vampires in it. Real ones, I mean, not characters. One of the creators was—is—a vampire as well. Lovely fellow.”

“I’m still not sure I believe you,” Lucy said. “It’s too weird.”

“Please. It was the seventies,” said Jane. “We did all kinds of peculiar things.”

“What name did you use?” Lucy asked. “Jane Fairfax?”

“Heavens, no,” said Jane. “I really don’t remember what I called myself.”

“Now you’re lying,” Lucy said.

“I am not!” said Jane.

“Are too,” Lucy argued. “Out with it. You made me tell you something I didn’t want to. Now it’s your turn.”

Jane sighed. “Oh, all right,” she said. “Meadow Brightstar. I was Meadow Brightstar.”

Lucy paused only a moment before laughter poured from her mouth. “Meadow Brightstar!” she shrieked.

“I told you, it was the seventies!” said Jane as Lucy laughed even harder. She waited for the young woman to calm down. This took a good minute and a half, during which Jane tried very hard to remain dignified in the face of Lucy’s mirth.

Finally Lucy stopped laughing and took a deep breath. “Meadow Brightstar,” she said hoarsely. “I am never going to forget that.”

“Oh, good,” Jane said. “Now, enough about my illustrious theater career. Let’s get back to you and Ben. A giant spider movie is an interesting choice for someone who doesn’t care for the creatures.”

“It gets worse,” said Lucy.

“Worse?” Jane asked.

“We might have watched some of Deadly Mantis,” Lucy said. “And possibly Them!”

“Three giant-insect movies,” said Jane. “It really must be love.”

“They were running a B-movie marathon!” Lucy said defensively. “And you know I love those campy monster movies from the fifties.”

“Oh, yes,” said Jane. “You talk about them all the time.”

Lucy made a face. “I do,” she insisted. “Anyway, Meadow, it’s your fault for introducing us in the first place.”

“My fault?” Jane exclaimed. “Are you saying you’d like me to get rid of him for you?”

Lucy pouted. “Okay,” she said. “I don’t like movies about giant bugs. But Ben does, and it wasn’t like that’s all we were doing.”

“Oh?” said Jane, raising an eyebrow.

“We were talking,” Lucy said. “He is a rabbi, you know.”

“What, rabbis don’t like to kiss pretty girls?” Jane said, feigning—badly—a Yiddish accent.

“Ha ha,” said Lucy. “For your information, he kisses quite well. He also fed me walnut prawns using chopsticks and didn’t drop a single one. That’s talent.”

“Prawns?” Jane said. “Prawns aren’t kosher.”

Lucy waved a hand at her. “Please,” she said. “Everyone knows it doesn’t count if it’s in Chinese food.”

“Since when?” asked Jane.

“Since forever,” Lucy said. “Ask anyone.”

“I might have to,” said Jane. “So you had a good time. And now lunch today. This sounds serious.”

Lucy shook her head from side to side but said nothing.

“Is that a yes or a no?” Jane asked.

“It’s a ‘we’ll see,’ ” said Lucy.

“That means yes,” Jane teased.

“It means we’ll see,” Lucy repeated.

“Are Ted and Ned in?” Jane asked.

“They are,” said Lucy. “I put them to work in the storeroom packing up all the books that have to go back to the distributor. It was the nastiest job I could think of.”

“They really don’t like to get dirty,” Jane said. “Good thinking.”

“I also turned the air conditioner off,” Lucy continued. “I told them it was broken. That should make it even more pleasant. By noon it will be ninety-five degrees in there.”

“I heartily approve,” said Jane. “And now I am going back to the set to make sure Chloe doesn’t undo us completely. I just stopped in to see how things are going.”

“Before you go you might want to call Kelly back,” Lucy said. “He called about ten minutes before you got here. He said he tried you at home first, but you must have just left.”

Jane groaned. She really didn’t want to speak to her editor-turned-agent, but she knew she had to, if only to settle the situation with Jessica.

Kelly answered on the second ring. “I was just going to lunch,” he said when he heard Jane’s voice. “But that Reuben sandwich can wait until I’ve had a chat with my favorite client. How’s everything?”

“Somewhere between dreadful and unbearable,” Jane answered. “Jessica Abernathy is here. She’s trying to pry the manuscript out of me, and I have no doubt she would insert a probe into my brain if she thought she could siphon the words out that way.”

“Wouldn’t that be fantastic?” said Kelly. “Imagine if you could just think a story and have it appear on your computer screen.”

“A novel idea,” Jane said. “Oh, and she apparently decided that I was too busy to do any work on the film script and very thoughtfully suggested her friend Posey Frost for the job.”

“Yes,” Kelly said. His voice had an odd tone, as if he were suddenly occupied with doing something that required all his attention.

“Yes what?” asked Jane.

“Yes,” Kelly said again. “I know about Jessica. And Posey. I meant to tell you.”

“You knew?” said Jane. “So Jessica wasn’t making that up? Why didn’t you say something?”

“I said I meant to,” Kelly reminded her. “I just didn’t exactly get around to it.”

“You knew she was coming here to ambush me and you didn’t think I might want to know about it?” she said, the anger in her voice making it tight.

Kelly sighed. “Jane, it’s complicated,” he said. “You are very late with the manuscript, and we don’t have a lot of options at this point. Jessica thought that if she could speak with you face- to-face it might light a fire under you.”

“That’s not the point!” said Jane. “The point is that none of you told me what was going on. Can you imagine how I felt seeing that woman on my doorstep? And the way she spoke to me at lunch, I—”

“Jane, it’s going to be all right,” Kelly said. “You just need to calm down.”

“I will not calm down!” Jane said loudly. “And if you even think about uttering the word hysterical I will not hesitate to get on the next train to New York and show you exactly how not calm I am!”

“I’m sorry,” said Kelly. “You’re right. I should have told you what was going on. But Jessica is there now and she’s more than willing to work with you on hammering out a plot for the new book.”

“I don’t want her help,” Jane snapped. “I want her to go away. As soon as possible. Preferably yesterday.”