Her Daughter’s Dream

anymore. She didn’t know what was happening on the Healdsburg High campus, nor did she care. What did all that matter, especially now that Jason was going away to college? “Somewhere in Southern California,” Sharon told her. “I just can’t remember which college. And he’s working construction over the summer. Down in San Jose, I think, with a friend of a friend of Pastor Daniel.”

Dawn had the feeling Jason Steward had walked out of her life. Whatever plans God might have for her now clearly did not include him.

She didn’t think her grief could go any deeper until Granny called on a hot August morning and said Papa was dead.

39

The appalling call about Papa’s death sent Mom into panic mode. They needed to get out to Jenner now. Dawn insisted on going with them. Mitch called the Eckhards and asked if they would keep Christopher. They dropped him off on the way out. Dawn sat in the backseat in a state of shock. When they arrived, they found Granny sitting in the corner chair in the living room. Face white, eyes red, she pointed to the closed French doors to the bedroom. Mom stepped back and bumped into Mitch. He grasped her shoulders and whispered something.

Trembling, Dawn went into the bedroom first. She refused to believe Papa was dead. He apeared to be asleep. She went closer and laid her hand on his forehead. He felt so cold. He wasn’t breathing. She drew in a sharp breath as though to do it for him. She felt warmth behind her. Mitch, standing ready. “He looks peaceful, doesn’t he, honey? He’s with the Lord.” Sobbing, she turned and fell into his arms.

Granny spoke in the living room. “He said he was tired. He gave me a kiss good night. He was snoring when I went to bed. And then when I woke up this morning, it was so quiet.” She cried. “It was too quiet. I knew.”

Mitch ushered Dawn back into the living room. Mom’s face twitched. Her fingers pleated her tiered skirt. Face ashen, wide-eyed, she turned toward the bedroom, but didn’t move. Dawn sat next to her on the couch. They didn’t look at one another. They didn’t touch. Mitch seemed the only one in the room capable of thought. “Have you called anyone, Hildie?”

“I called you.” Granny blew her nose.

Mitch went down on one knee beside her and put his hand over hers. “I mean about his body.”

She jerked. “No. I’m not ready to send him away yet.”

“You’ll be able to say good-bye at his memorial…”

“There’s not going to be a memorial service!” Granny sounded broken, but adamant. Her hand fluttered like a wounded bird. “We don’t know anyone up here.” It had been too far to drive in from Jenner to church on Sundays. She and Papa only made it to Easter cantatas- and one Christmas pageant when Christopher had played a little shepherd boy.

Mom shook, hands clenching her skirt. “You can have the service in Paxtown, Mom.” She spoke in a dull voice. “Mitch can call Rev. Elias.” Her face was shuttered. “Dad was one of his elders. He would want to officiate.”

Granny dabbed her eyes. “Rev. Elias retired five years ago. He and Janice moved up to Silverton, Oregon. I think. I don’t remember. We haven’t even exchanged Christmas cards with them in the last few years.”

“You have friends in Paxtown. The MacPhersons, Dr. Griffith, Doc and Thelma Martin.” Mom’s voice came out flat as she listed names.

Granny glared at her. “As if any of them remember us.”

Mom raised her head, clearly distressed. “Is that my fault?” She sounded as though she thought it might be.

“No! Did I say it was? Did I? Thelma Martin was never my friend.”

“Hildie.” Mitch spoke gently.

Granny cried again. “We had friends, Carolyn. We’ve been gone eight years. Life goes on. People move away. People die.” She started to sob.

Mom stared at Mitch with huge eyes. She was like a frightened little girl, frozen in her seat, afraid to move. Dawn couldn’t bear seeing her like that or Granny crying her heart out. Someone had to do something! She fled into the kitchen, pulled out the telephone directory, and flipped frantically through pages. Scrubbing away tears, she read the number for Cornerstone Covenant Church and punched it into Granny’s ancient phone.

Kim answered. She must be standing in for the church secretary again. Dawn started talking and knew she was making no sense. She started to cry. Pastor Daniel came on the line. “What’s wrong, Dawn?” Fighting down the tears and rising hysteria, she told him her grandfather had died and his body was still in his bed and Granny didn’t want a service and Mitch was going to call the mortuary and have his body taken away and she couldn’t bear the thought of that being the end of him and-

“I’m on my way,” Pastor Daniel interrupted her.

Mitch called the mortuary as soon as she hung up the telephone. Dawn went outside and paced on the deck, watching the road. When she saw Pastor Daniel’s blue Chevy coming, she stood outside the gate. He got out of the car and held her close. “Did he know Christ, Dawn?” She nodded against his shirt, soaking it with her tears. “Then you know where he is right now.”

“It doesn’t help.”

“It will.”

She led him into the house and introduced him to Granny. He sat on her hassock and talked to her. Mom went outside and stood on the deck. Mitch went out and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against him. Dawn sat on the couch, hands pressed between her knees, not knowing what to do. Jesus. Jesus. That’s all she could think to pray. Just His name over and over again.

“Why don’t you get your mother and stepfather, Dawn?” When they came inside, Pastor Daniel led them all into the bedroom, where they gathered around Papa. Pastor Daniel held Granny’s hand and talked about Jesus’ life and death and resurrection and the promise He made, a promise that would never be broken. Mom kept looking at him. Granny grew calmer as he spoke.

Pastor Daniel stayed until after Papa’s body had been taken away. He had been the one to remember to ask for Papa’s wedding ring. He said he’d come and talk with Granny again if she liked. Would she be staying with the Hastings?

Granny shook her head.

Mitch leaned forward on the couch, one hand still holding Mom’s, the other resting on the arm of the sofa closest to Granny. “Why don’t you come home with us, Hildie?”

“No.” Granny gripped the arms of her corner chair, letting everyone know she wouldn’t be pried from her home. “I’m staying right here.”

“You shouldn’t be alone, Hildie.”

Granny glared at Mitch, a stubborn tilt to her chin. “It’s my home. I’m going to have to get used to being alone, aren’t I?”

Dawn could tell Mitch was exasperated and torn. She knew he would take good care of Mom, who seemed as undone as she had been when Oma died. But Granny shouldn’t be alone. When Pastor Daniel stood, Dawn took his place on the hassock. “I’ll stay.”

* * *

Dennis Bingley gave her time off. Over the next week, Dawn cried almost as much as Granny. Instead of sleeping in the blue room, she slept with Granny. Once, while Granny slept in the easy chair, Dawn went downstairs and sat on the bed where she had given herself to Jason. She then cried for other reasons. If she’d followed Jesus instead of her own desires, she wouldn’t be spending the rest of her life living in regret.

On the sixth morning, she awakened when Granny brushed hair back from her face. Granny smiled faintly, head on her own pillow. “You’re a very sweet girl. Do you know that?”

“Are you going to be all right, Granny?”

“Yes. I’ll have to be because you have to go home today.”