Dawn took her hand and held it against the mattress. “I’ll call you every night and come out next weekend.”
“I know you will.” Granny’s hazel eyes filled with tears. “All this is just part of life. Still it feels unexpected. You’ll have to call home for a ride. Maybe your mother will come out and pick you up.” She sounded hopeful.
Mitch came for Dawn. On the way home, he asked how things went. She told him Granny was going to have a hard time, but was too stubborn to talk about moving into town. “How’s Mom doing?”
“She’s bottled up inside again. It’s going to take time. One good thing came out of all this.”
How could anything good come from losing Papa? “What’s that?”
“She asked me to take her to your church this morning.”
1988
Senior year proved grueling as Dawn combined afternoon college courses with her remaining high school requirements. The previous year she had taken one class at Santa Rosa Junior College, and she enjoyed it so much she decided to take two this year. She didn’t have a spare minute for R & R, as Mitch put it, not between commuting to Santa Rosa, attending classes, studying, writing papers, and working twenty hours a week at Java Joe’s. When she did get a weekend off, she often drove out to Jenner and stayed with Granny until Sunday morning, when she’d drive back to attend CCC with Mom, Mitch, and Christopher.
With dismay, but no protest, Mitch had given up his old church. Dawn knew he was glad Mom had finally found a church where she felt comfortable. Christopher couldn’t have been happier now that he could spend even more time with his friend Tim Eckhard. People had welcomed the family with open arms, even Georgia Steward, who came and shook Mitch’s hand and gave Mom a quick hug. She greeted Dawn with cool courtesy.
Kim always made a point of telling Dawn when Jason planned to come home. Dawn didn’t attend services on those Sundays. It wasn’t until Thanksgiving and Dawn’s suggestion that she and Granny go back to Jenner Saturday afternoon that Mom spoke up about it.
“You can’t avoid Jason forever, Dawn.”
When Christmas came around, Mom, Mitch, and Granny ganged up on her and insisted she attend church with the family. She said she would if she could drive her own car.
Jason sat in the third row with his mother. Dawn and her family sat in the middle on the same side. She tried to concentrate on what Pastor Daniel said, but her eyes kept drifting to Jason. He’d cut his hair, had grown a little taller, broader. As soon as the service ended, Dawn stood and made her way toward the exit. Kim stopped her, a perplexed expression on her face when Dawn made a quick excuse, gave her a quick hug, and headed for the door, where Pastor Daniel stood shaking hands.
“Great sermon, Pastor Daniel.” When he offered his hand, she took it. He gripped her hand firmly and asked why she seemed in such a hurry to get out the door. She didn’t dissemble. “You know why. Jason’s here.” He gave her a sad smile and let go.
She didn’t stop until she was safely inside her car, key in the ignition. Jason stood at the door with his mother. When he looked toward her, she started her car, backed out, and put it quickly into gear. She glanced in her rearview mirror one last time before she pulled out onto the street and headed home. Jason stood with all their old friends, home from college.
Her telephone was ringing when she walked into the house. She put her purse on her desk and sat on the bed as her answering machine picked up with her recorded message. “This is Dawn. Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message at the sound of the beep.” No one spoke. Her heart pounded harder the longer the silence stretched. The answering machine clicked. She breathed again. The phone rang again. The machine picked up. Again, the long silence.
She hadn’t forgotten what Georgia Steward said or the truth of most of it. She
The phone rang again. Sobbing, she put her hands over her ears.
A few days later, Dawn drove Granny home to Jenner by the Sea. “That young man you used to date, Jason what’s-his-name…?”
“Steward.”
“He was at church on Christmas.”
Dawn focused on the road.
Granny studied her. “When you got up and headed out, he never took his eyes off you. I think he was trying to catch up with you, but people kept getting in the way.”
“He has a lot of friends.” Her voice came out with a soft catch in it. She adjusted her sunglasses.
“So do you, Dawn.” Granny spoke quietly and didn’t ask about Jason again.
1989
Mom and Mitch gave her the gift of another mission trip to Mexico. Since she had the equivalent of four years of Spanish classes under her belt, Pastor Daniel lined her up with another church that planned to put on a vacation Bible school in Tijuana. He also thought the preparatory meetings held on Thursday evenings rather than five in the morning on Wednesdays would be an added benefit to her. “Your parents said you’re burning your candle at both ends.”
The work in Mexico felt like a vacation after her grueling school and work schedule at home. And though she loved the children, she knew by the end of Easter week she was not meant to be a teacher. When she shared that conviction, Granny talked about her nursing days.
Fall enrollment at Santa Rosa Junior College rolled around, and Dawn signed up for human anatomy. By midterm, she decided to work toward a bachelor of science degree in nursing. Mom didn’t seem surprised by the idea, saying Granny would be pleased to know Dawn intended to follow in her footsteps. Mitch said Dawn could always do real estate later if nursing didn’t pan out, to which Dawn replied she hoped to finish at the junior college and transfer to a four-year college by the end of the following year. Mom seemed a little taken aback by that announcement. “You’ll be going off to college.”
Mitch leaned down and kissed her. “You’ll still have Christopher around. And me.” He straightened. “With your grades, Dawn, you can go anywhere you want. Why not consider UC Berkeley? It’s not too far from home.”
UCB was a great school, but Dawn knew the competition would devour her. She’d considered UC Santa Cruz, but it had the reputation as a party school. UC Davis was too close, UC San Diego too far away. Her counselor had graduated from Cal Poly, and she spoke highly of it. Dawn researched a dozen colleges, all good, some too expensive. Something had nudged her toward Cal Poly. Maybe it was the location-half a day from home, close to the coast. When people asked why there, her inclination was to ask, “Why not?” She couldn’t really explain.
40
1990
All Dawn’s old friends came home from college that summer, except Sharon, who had found a job in Santa Rosa and moved into an apartment near the Coddingtown Mall. Dawn caught up with their news after Sunday services. Most had lined up summer jobs at the downtown mall or various businesses in Healdsburg or Windsor. Kim called a few days after coming home from Pepperdine. “We’re going to get together every Wednesday evening. It’ll be better than old times.”
“Who all is coming?”
