Up The Down Staircase

No. Yes?

You're supposed to read this to the class. It's from the liberry.

Library. May I have your attention, please?

THE SCHOOL LIBRARY IS YOUR LIBRARY. ALL STUDENTS ARE ENCOURAGED TO USE IT AT ALL TIMES.

STUDENTS ON THE LIBRARY BLACKLIST ARE NOT TO RECEIVE THEIR PROGRAM CARDS UNTIL THEY HAVE PAID FOR LOST OR MUTILATED BOOKS.

THE LIBRARY WILL BE CLOSED TO STUDENTS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE TO ENABLE TEACHERS TO USE IT AS A WORKROOM FOR THEIR PRC ENTRIES.

Yes, who sent you here?

You did. Here's the stuff from your letter-box. Where do I dump it?

Is that all for me?

Excuse me, the nurse says she's all out of accident reports, but she wants the missing dentals.

The missing what?

Dental notes.

I see. And what is it you want?

New change in assembly program. Your class goes to different rows. X2 schedule rows.

I see. And you?

Mr. McHabe says do you need any posters for your room decoration?

Tell Mr. McHabe what I really need is—Yes?

The office wants the list of locker numbers for each student.

I haven't even—Yes?

This is urgent. You're supposed to read and sign.

TO ALL TEACHERS: A BLUE PONTIAC PARKED IN FRONT OF SCHOOL HAS BEEN OVERTURNED BY SOME STUDENTS. IF THE FOLLOWING LICENSE IS YOURS—

Tell Mr. McHabe I don't drive. Now, class—

Hurray! Saved by the bell!

Just a minute—the bell seems to be fifteen minutes early. It may be a mistake. We have so much to— Please remain in your—

That's the bell! You heard it!

All the other teachers are letting them out!

But we must finish the—

When the bell rings, we're supposed to go!

Where do we go, assembly?

Please sit down. I'd like to—We haven't—Well. It looks as if you and I are the only ones left. Your name is—?

Alice Blake, Miss Barrett. I just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed your lesson.

Thank you, but it wasn't really a—Yes, young lady?

I'm from the office. She says to announce this to your class right away.

PLEASE DISREGARD THE BELLS. STUDENTS ARE TO REMAIN IN THEIR HOMEROOMS UNTIL THE WARNING BELL RINGS.

I'm afraid they've all gone.

I've got to go too, Miss Barrett. I wish I had you for English, but my program says Mr. Barringer.

I'm sure he's a fine teacher, Alice, and that you'll do well with him.

You Barrett?

What's that, young man?

Late pass.

That's no way to hand it to me. Throwing it like that on my desk—

My aim is bad.

There's no need for insolence. Please take that toothpick out of your mouth when you talk to me. And take your hands out of your pockets.

Which first?

What's your name?