“Yeah, who knew?” But Travis knew what the truth was, and now was the time to tell him. “Maybe I have lost my nerve, Ron.”
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“I’ve been thinking about making this my last job.”
“Because of this?”
“No. I’ve been thinking about for a while now. Ever since the jewelry store job. But now with all this happenin’ with the cops and Freeze-I don’t know.”
“I do.” Ronnie yawned and stood up. “You’re just trippin’ about Freeze with a nine in his lap, and I’m too tired to argue with you about it. Now you can go in there and see what Jackie’s trippin’ about.”
Travis went into the kitchen and found Jackie sitting at the table, drinking Hennessey. He got a glass and joined her. “So, what’s up?” he asked as Jackie filled his glass.
“Nothing. I’m just being stupid.”
“So, tell me what’s up anyway.”
“No. You’re gonna think I’m being stupid.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Because I am.”
“What’s up, Jackie?”
“I’m jealous.”
“Jealous? Jealous of what?”
“You’re in love with another woman, Travis, and I’m jealous ’cause it’s not me. Sounds pretty stupid coming from me, right?”
“I don’t get it, Jackie.”
“I don’t get it either. And that’s what so stupid about it.” She drained her glass and poured another. “I guess I’ve gotten comfortable with the idea of you being my man.”
“You lost me.”
“Travis, you’ve been my man for years. Every time I needed to show up someplace with a man, it’s always been you. Prom, college parties, office parties, family gatherings, whatever. It’s always been you. Shit, my parents still wanna know when we’re getting married. Don’t ask me why, but somewhere in the back of my mind I thought-” Jackie paused, “I don’t know what I was thinking. Stupid, right?”
“Damn, Jackie. I never knew you felt like that.”
“Neither did I. Not until I heard you say you loved her. You’ve never taken a woman seriously.” Jackie laughed. “Neither have I. But to hear you say that you’re in love with her, that just caught me off guard. But I’m cool.”
They sat quietly at the table looking at one another. Jackie smiled at him as Ronnie came into the kitchen. “You two kids got your shit worked out yet?” Ronnie asked as he poured himself a glass of Henny.
“I don’t know,” Travis said and turned to Jackie. “Do we, Jackie?”
“Like I said, I’m cool.”
“Good, ’cause we got a job to do in a couple days, and both of y’all need to have your minds right.”
Chapter Twenty-eight
A teary-eyed Me’shelle picked up the telephone once again and dialed Travis’s number. The last day and a half hadn’t been easy for her, but she got through it. With help and support from her aunts, she went to the morgue to identify Bruce and Natalie’s bodies and made arrangements for their funeral. Natalie’s family hadn’t had anything to do with her in years, so when Me’shelle called them, her father’s only response was, “Let me know where you bury her.”
After taking care of that painful business, Me’shelle stopped by the hospital and sat with Brandy. While she was there, Detective Richards came to question Brandy, but she was still in shock. She acknowledged their presence in the room with her eyes, but never spoke. When he asked Brandy if she understood that her parents were dead, she just stared at Me’shelle and tears flowed from her eyes.
After the police left, Me’shelle told Brandy about her day and the arrangements she’d made for her parents. Then she read an article from
Through it all, Me’shelle had been calling Travis both at his house and his cell phone. His cell was off, so the calls went straight to voicemail. He hadn’t answered the house phone. She had left several messages and Travis hadn’t chosen, up to this point, to call her back.
Travis sat next to the phone, as he had been for the past day and a half. He would see her name come up on caller ID each time, and let it go to voicemail. Then he would sit and listen to her message. He could hear the longing in her voice and could feel the pain. He felt tortured, caught between his loyalty to Ronnie and Jackie and what he felt for me Me’shelle. Travis felt like he was doing the right thing, but why did it feel so wrong?
“Please call me, Travis. I really need to talk to you, to hear your voice. I love you, Travis, and I miss you so much,” Me’shelle said and hung up the phone.
“I miss talking to you, Me’shelle. But I can’t,” he said out loud.
She had never said she loved him before, and hearing it now had an effect on him. A single tear rolled down his cheek. “I love you so much, Me’shelle, but I can’t.”
Travis sat and wondered why he was putting himself through this. It was bad enough that he couldn’t or at most wasn’t going to talk to her, but why did he have to sit there and listen to her tear-filled messages? He could have just as easily left the house, left town, gone to Connecticut. At the very least, he could have turned off the answering machine.
He wanted to feel this pain, but he was growing weary of it.
Twenty minutes later, the phone rang again. Once again, it was Me’shelle. No longer willing to deliver or endure any more pain, he answered. “Hello, Me’shelle,” Travis said softly.
“I’m so glad you answered. Where have you been? I’ve been calling you. Didn’t you get any of my messages?”
For a fraction of a second, Travis thought about telling her that he wasn’t going to see her again and why. “I had to go out of town for a minute. I just got back and listened to all of your messages. I miss talking to you, Me’shelle.”
“I’ve missed talking to you so much these last couple of days. I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you. How are you holding up?”
“Not good, but I’m still standing.”
“How’s Brandy?”
“I just came home from seeing her. She looked at me when I came in the room and she squeezed my hand a couple of times while I read to her, but she’s still not talking. But the hardest thing about this is my brother. I never mentioned this to you, but my brother came to me and asked me for money and I told him no.” Me’shelle started to cry. “He said they were going to kill him. If I had only got the money for him, none of this would have happened.”
“Me’shelle, you can’t blame yourself for what happened.”
“I know that I shouldn’t, Travis, but it’s one of the last things he said to me that’s really fuckin’ with me.”
“What did he say to you?”
“He said, ‘How you gonna live with yourself when I’m dead?’ ”
“Damn. That’s some fucked up shit to say to somebody.”
“Ain’t it, though?”
“I’m sayin’, but he probably wasn’t expecting to get popped when he said it. Even though they know it’s a possibility that it could happen, nobody expects to die. He just said that so you would feel sorry for him and give him the money.”
“I know that, but it still bothers me.”
