I was disposed to agree entirely with her, but dared not venture upon a word, not feeling particularly thirsty at the moment. On a subsequent occasion I ran an even narrower risk of the same punishment.
This time the half-tumbler of Aesculap, bitter and a little nauseous, which she made me drink, willy-nilly, effectually confirmed my good resolution. I felt angry, in fact, furious at this drenching. It was so ignominious; but I confess that the fear that she would carry out her threat, together with the idea that the water about me might have been of a different kind, and if I offended again, would be, gave me a strange delight.
With a laugh at my discomfiture and at my look (I felt my eyes gleaming), Mademoiselle left the room. Returning in two or three minutes, she calmly sat down before a large glass to do her hair at great leisure. The least she could have done would have been to release me; but that, she showed not the slightest intention of doing as yet. I had to lie in that deluge quite half an hour, while she bade me reflect what a pickle it might have been, and unconcernedly let down and combed her magnificent hair.
When, at last, I was released, I felt well soused.
Certainly the milk of Venus was pleasanter to swallow than that nasty water, yet they both might have come from the same place, and from Mademoiselle. I think, on the whole, that I really loved her the more for the fright I had originally experienced: a strange overpowering longing to devour her; to be intimately united with and yet subject to her; to nourish myself with her being; a craving which I endeavoured to slake with kisses; and which was subsequently much more effectually gratified by my absorption of her raw clinging flesh, expressing in a humid language of its own the fleeting vanishing emotions of her soul.
It was hard that she should use a force originating in myself only as an engine for my own training, for the subjugation and taming of my virile ferocity; thus compelling me myself to provide a weapon for my own chastisement.
At last she sniped the stout threads of the strap-buckle which held me, with a pair of long scissors to avoid wetting her dainty fingers and bade me get up. How I longed to throw the whole contents of the bath over her, hair and all! However, all this time the water was running down me, drip, drip, drip, like the water from a rat rescued from drowning, into my eyes, over my lips, over my shoulders, down my back, down my breast, and along my arms. Mademoiselle gazed at me with amusement. I was too wild to speak and yet dared not do anything. She might otherwise have made me drink it. She was quite capable of doing so. Horrible notion, horrible peril! I dared not give the slightest sign which I thought could possibly provoke her displeasure. To my relief she gave me a towel, but I was not yet out of danger for she would not allow me to rush away as I desired. There was that Aesculap. Bitter stuff!
CHAPTER 10
No; I had now to discharge an office which, being about Mademoiselle's person, was, I grant, extremely agreeable. The remarkable manner in which she racked and harrowed my feelings-now doing that which provoked my bitterest dislike and disgust, then what attracted and excited my warmest feelings towards her-reduced me to a state of great trepidation and nervousness, effectually depriving me of self-control. When, quailing beneath her gaze, I had hastily dried myself as much as she thought necessary, she slipped off her dressing gown, and said peremptorily: 'Now dress me!'
Her evening stockings had to be put on ceremoniously and carefully, the ends of the suspenders dexterously caught and attached to them; her low shoes found, and because I could not immediately discover where they were, I received several cuts of her stinging little riding whip to sharpen my wits and quicken my movements. Then her corset had to be changed-the evening one laced to her satisfaction. The fastening, adjusting, and lacing of a lady's tight corset is a difficult and ticklish process, and her gown had to be put on and hooked. She then complained that one of her stockings was wrinkled in her shoe, which I had to remove and smooth the delicate fabric.
No sooner had I replaced her shoe than she sprang up, and I suddenly and quite unexpectedly became conscious of the weight of her pretty little foot by the receipt of a sound kick in the rear. I called out and clapped my hands to the part. Mademoiselle continued the exercise, dancing about the room after me with surprising agility and astonishing spirits, kicking me as she did so, first with one little foot and then with the other, always aiming at my back. It was a novel edition of the skirt dance, which I did not at all appreciate, though, doubtless, Mademoiselle looked charming and her laughter and exclamations of delight put a merry aspect, from her point of view, upon the performance. Her pointed shoes hurt confoundedly, and the sweetness of the vision did not allay the pain. I was soon black and blue.
Mademoiselle laughed until I thought she would have had a fit. I, on my part, felt much more disposed to cry more from the ridiculous figure I was made to cut than from anything else. My love laughed at, and I was myself kicked naked about her dressing room by my adored one.
At length, fatigued, she summoned Elise to finish her hair and complete her toilette, and to lock me up for the time being, amongst her skirts and petticoats in the wardrobe.
When I was released in about another half hour, Mademoiselle had left the apartment, and not without some apprehension, I found myself left to the tender mercies of her maid. She roughly jerked me out of the cupboard by the arm, administering with the other hand, as she did so, a succession of sound, stinging slaps on various parts of my body, and expressing much curiosity as to what I had done to get myself made water upon by a young lady, and especially as to how I liked it. I indignantly denied it. 'None of your lies to me, you nasty dirty boy. I know very well what she did. I ought not to touch you with the tongs. I know where that water came from; don't tell me! Come off to the bathroom at once. Quick! We have no time to fool about!' peremptorily ordered Elise. A hot bath and a big sponge were very welcome. It was curious being washed by a maid. And when she soaped the flannel and washed me like a baby between the legs, I squirmed and blushed and felt utterly foolish. The skin of my bottom was quite sore from the birching and kicking. Elise heeded this very little, in fact not at all, and rapidly dried me with warm rough towels; then taking me to my room, as rapidly dressed me. Silken vest, chemise en coeur (I had a plump breast and well-rounded arms), drawers, a corset which fitted much better than the first, stockings and the rest; in short, a young lady's evening toilette. Even my hair was done up like a girl's with a broad ribbon round my head after the Grecian mode; it was not long enough for any other style.
I must not omit one particular article which she added to my attire, and which gave me peculiar inconvenience as the evening wore on. At the end of my longwaisted corset in front, about four inches apart, were two hooks. As soon as she had tightly and severely laced that horrid instrument of torture, she proceeded to adjust a square piece of linen, to two corners of which were attached two tape loops. These she slipped over the hooks; and through the loops she inserted a folded napkin, and drawing it between my legs, tied its ends together, after putting one through a broad steel eye, which was sewn into my corset at the back. It was pulled quite tight, and the effect, of course, was to drag down the square piece of linen in front, and envelope in it what I had there, so that that thing was kept straight down, and also, the napkin being mercilessly tight, well between my legs. It was a most uncomfortable affair and incommoded me dreadfully.
But my protestations were altogether unheeded as a matter of course. Elise remarked that some contrivance was imperative, to prevent any indications on the surface of my petticoats which would belie my sex; and that if I had the privilege of being dressed and looking like a girl, I must put up with some punishment for being in reality a boy!
The friction of the napkin against the tender skin and sensitive nerves between my legs gave me my only consolation. It caused a pleasant titillation, and kept me in a perpetual condition of delicious naughtiness, the usual expression of which, however-erection in front-was quite, and designedly, out of the question.
At last I was dressed. It was a painful business. To give me a colour before I descended to the drawing room, Elise, who was really a beautiful damsel, frivolously inserted her right hand and arm under my skirts from behind, and severely rubbed and pinched my bottom, not forgetting to give the prisoner in front an energetic reminder or two, slipping her hand through from behind for that purpose. This proceeding did, indeed, bring the roses to my cheeks.
